Hello everyone. Thanks so much for all your replies to my call for help last week. It helped me more than I can say. Since then I've had a couple of setbacks (like finally getting myself together to call my consultant to ask for another meeting for more info, to find that she, her secretary, and the two CNS were ALL on holiday!) but the best thing by far was my appointment with yesterday with a clinical onco-psychologist. I feel so fortunate that we have access to this service through the NHS.
You may remember that I was a little bit of a sceptic about this psychologist. I'm the sort of person you can't tell to do anything, who always knows best, who's critical about any woolly hippie-ish approach to cancer. So I honestly wasn't expecting to find any value from yesterday's session.
How wrong I was. I have come away in a completely different frame of mind, and am now able to face my recurrence and the fears it brings head-on. It's not changed anything of course, but I'm feeling much more like the old "me". I even went out for a little jog round the block this morning, although that won't last long...!
Thanks for bearing with me last week, everyone. No doubt I'll be asking for help again at some point, but hopefully not too soon. I've asked for a meeting with my consultant asap and will be asking about starting 2nd line chemo. I can't just sit around doing nothing about the **** (Here comes the control-freak Caroline again!). All the very best to you all xxx
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minard
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Hi Caroline. So pleased that you are feeling more like your old self again. Facing a relapse is always hard, whatever number it is, so good on you for taking back control. I also tend to be a bit sceptical and need to be the one in control so can completely understand how you are feeling. Onwards and upwards. Ali x
Hi Ali - thanks for replying. I had a wee look at your previous posts about juicing. I too have a Nutribullet - and have the drink with porridge for breakfast. Strangely enough, I don't use it at weekends. It's as if it's some sort of work-related penance! I do enjoy it though and feel it must be doing good x
So pleased it has helped! I absolutely agree too... I started seeing an oncology psychologist just after my op, though chemo and a little bit beyond. He definitely helped me to stay the right side of sanity and between the two of us, we found strategies to deal with all sorts of challenges & wobbles. I will always be incredibly grateful.
The support is there BUT you have to ask and sometimes (sadly) shout for it.... For anyone thinking it might be worth exploring, do speak to your CNS or Oncologist... This is specialist support and (in my opinion), so much more appropriate and effective than general counselling.
Hi BJ - I am sorry to hear that and it really disappoints me for you. I actually asked the psychologist whether this service was available everywhere in the UK (I'm in Edinburgh). She said it was often not a specialist onco service but part of the Mental Health Unit. But regardless, you shouldn't be facing a postcode lottery.
I'm not sure if this is going to be a help to you, or indeed to me, but she also gave me a couple of take-aways from our session. I've already bought her book recommendation on Amazon (Mindfulness, a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world) and have read chapter one. Normally I would rush off in the opposite direction as fast as my legs would carry me - but it's worth a try isn't it?
She also recommended a free app and I'll find it and send it on separately.
Yes, in this area such counselling is provided through IAPT. I did have an initial assessment (by a trainee) who recommended that I attend a course on living with a long term condition, which I did - it included a session on mindfulness! While this was to some degree helpful, the instructors running the course recognised that I needed one to one counselling, and said that they would see that I was on the waiting list and wouldn't be disadvantaged by attending the course, but that there was a lengthy waiting list. That was last autumn, and I still haven't heard anything further. I must remember to ask my GP about it next time I see her.
Going to speak with some one is a hard step isnt it, especially if you are very private and dont express your feelings or concerns very much anyhow. But I am glad I went when I had to go to. It is good to get a focus outside the box. A recurrence is very difficult to absorb on your own but things do get better. Once you commence treatment I think you feel more secure or that was the case for me. Do come on and ask us whatever you need to know, sending you a hug
Hello Caroline and although it is a strange thing to say but how good to find you on this site. (Caroline and I were in touch on the Macmillan site way back when it all started for both of us!) So sorry to hear that the b----- has raised its ugly head again. You did so well the first time round and I know you can do it again. Which marathon are you aiming for this time?? I find this site so much easier to engage with than Macmillan so have been on here more often than there! Here's hoping we can keep in touch. Love Val xx
Hi Val - how lovely to hear from you too. No marathons on the horizon (my husband has had the temerity to ban them, but I'm working on him) but trying to keep upbeat. How are things with you? Hope you're having a good summer x
I've just finished 2 nd line of chemo after recurrence and the mind is very much underestimated in my opinion! Hassle everyone as it is your body and I also cannot bear to be sitting around doing nothing. There's quite a few of us control freaks !! Good luck xx
Pleased to hear that your counselling has helped. I'm like you in that I have to be in control and was also a bit sceptical of talking things out with a stranger. I was pleasantly surprised that my two sessions thus far have helped, although it took me a while to realise!
I'm sorry the beast has awoken and I'm sending you a virtual gift wrapped box of positive vibes and good wishes.
It is really good to hear you are feeling better despite what has been going on.
I too am seeing a Clinical Pyschologist and for me it has been a real life saver. She is attached to our local Palliative Care / Macmillan Team and is absolutely fantastic. She sees me about every 6 weeks. I know exactly what you mean about things still being the same but the way you think about making such a huge difference to how you feel.
However it's worth mentioning that the treatment she gives me is not "counselling" but Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). These are two very different mental health treatments. CBT is a scientifically proven, evidence based treatment and as such is a long way from any "hippie" type stuff. CBT is usually only offered by professionally qualified practitioners who must be legally registered with the Health and Care Professions Council in order to practice in the UK.
It was a long wait to see my Clinical Pyschologist but it was definitely worth it.
Thanks Flamingo. Yes, having read more of the recommended book now, I really do "get it". The counselling from Maggie's which I've accessed in the past is clearly quite different. In my own professional out-of-cancer world, mindfulness is being talked about in terms of work-related stress, so it's not just a buzzword. I have a follow-up appointment with psychologist in a couple of months so I'd like to have moved forward with the programme in the book so that I can report back.
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