3 chemo done/this week pre Op assessment yesterday/CT scan Today/due to see surgeon Thursday (that was the plan).......

[kazrazmataz]

Talk about being on an emotional roller coaster. Diagnosed in May, told it was stage 3. Had 3 chemo went for pre-op assessment yesterday, saw nurse who went off to get something and I glanced at a postit note on top of my file said stage 4. Was in bits and asked the nurse if I was stage 4 she looked in my notes it said stage 3 and she did not know where the postit note came from. The nurse went to ask the surgeon to come and talk to me which she did very nice lady said I was stage 4. Have official appointment with her this Thurs, had CT scan today but feel do not know whether I'm coming or going. Surgeon said is planning to do op said will be major but will not know exactly whats what until she has seen my scan. The reason for the stage 4 I think is that I had a really abdo pain 3 weeks ago and had to go in hosp did a CT scan then of upper abdo and discovered I have gall stones so the onc I think has seen that scan and has revised it to stage 4 because of fluid on one of my lungs surgeon said was discussed at my MDT. Trying to tell myself to stop worrying I knew it comes back for us advanced ladies but feel hopeless to see stage 4 and reading it from a postit note (my poor brain, had a really bad nightmare last night no wonder its like living nightmare when Im awake as only just getting past the denial stage as it is.

Upshot is surgeon has planned to do my op 4 Aug (if she can operate as she was not guaranteeing anything until sees Todays scan which I understand). Realise my post sound ridiculous, feel like it can only happen to me almost wish I could laugh about it might feel better. Hope I sleep better no more nightmares Tonight please. Got scan done Today, so will know what the likely op will involve Thurs and try and take it from there but am scared I will admit. Went to talk to the Macmillan ladies at the hospital made me feel better as its a fact they are looking to treat me not exactly writing me off but the way this week has gone is getting to me. Feel free to comment. The mad thing is I feel really well physically if I did not know whats happening in my body I would not be worrying but thats not an option once they have diagnosed us is it.

[cath40]

Really feel for you it's not easy and to read from post it not right I think. Hopefully surgery will go well just take it day by day.

[Hidden]

I can just imagine how you feel, this thing is a roller coaster and I hope you get more information tomorrow re op etc. Only thing to remember is that there are a lot o chemo treatments out there and there is one for you dont worry. Yes they are treatment you, and remember that, and its just unfortunate you have the complication of the gall bladder but that can be sorted when the rest is done, just take it step by step

[kazrazmataz in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so not worried about the gall bladder will hopefully feel better after I have been to the hosp again tomorrow

[Hidden]

Yes and if anything comes to mind today, write it down to ask at the consultation, that is helpful although I cant say I do it all the time. It is a stressful time and try and take time out today and give yourself a treat even if it is a cuppa somewhere nice and quiet

[daisies]

Hello. What can I say that the others have not said or advised ... write down all your thoughts and questions so that when you get to meet the medical people, at least you can be prepared. It is dreadful to think that you were told one stage and then read a different stage on a post-it note. This disease ( like so many) is a roller coaster of emotions, side effects, and yes, ups-and-downs. So am just sending you some positive thoughts and to say will be thinking of you over the next few days and weeks. Just remember, us women are tough birds. Notice you posted via Ovacare, so check out the Irish Cancer Society website also - it may be relevant to you. Daisies.