Hi all, when my university kids came home for the lockdown I developed a fear last thing at night when locking the front door that I could be locking them out even though that was illogical because they hadn't said they were going out and in fact by law were not allowed out after their once a day exercise. My brain painted pictures of them being outside in the middle of the night in the cold ringing the doorbell and banging the knocker and we didn't hear (again highly unlikely) which sent me into panic mode and I got a rush of adrenaline whenever I pictured that.
So I agreed with my (understanding) wife that that we could avoid me having those thought at all by leaving the front door with just the mortice lock on so that if they have keys (which they of course always should) they can get in,
But the anxiety then upped its game by deciding it was still possible that they might forget their keys (again highly unlikely) so it kept going. Now I hang around their bedrooms for an hour to watch them settle down for bed for ages and peer under their doors to see if their lights are on behind the closed doors. Even then it takes half an hour for me to sit down and get my brain to accept that they are 100% in bed, running through the proof multiple times before it will let go and accept that they are definitely in. By this time I'm frustrated and wound up and have to take a Zopiclone to sleep.
I dearly want to break this ridiculous habit if you have any suggestions? It seems the more I pander to it the worse and more illogical it's getting.
Written by
ScouterE
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
It's difficult to break such a habit, but it can be done. From a previous post of yours, I gather you have done CBT and know the techniques. However, putting them into practice can be a struggle!
As I'm sure you already know, the more you check the more you will doubt. Cut down the checking gradually, if it helps to do it gradually.
The Coronavirus has people being unnecessarily careful and protective of those they care about. But remember that your children are of university age and therefore legally adults. They are old enough to take responsibility for themselves. Parents don't stop being parents once their children are grown up, and always worry about them! But satisfy yourself that they are home, and then let them to get on with things and go to bed when they feel like it.
Keep the door on the latch so they can get in if it makes you feel better, at least while the lockdown in in place. But then let them take responsibility for their own actions.
It's clear that you are a caring sort, who has a strong sense of responsibility towards others. That in itself is good, but don't feel you have to carry unnecessary burdens for other people!
such as walking in and out of a door or picking things up and putting them back like five times. It
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
