False memory OCD

[Michellexx]

Hi everyone,

For a while now i have been suffering from anxiety and ocd. It al started When i could not remember a specific moment on a night out and i got afraid that i did something wrong, more specifically: i cheated on my boyfriend. From there it got worse and worse and i tried to remember every single night out to check if i did something wrong. Now it got to the point Where i am afraid that i did something sexual with someone on a night out on a toilet and even that i left body fluids of that person on the door and other people could get infected by a serious STD like Hiv, hepatitis B or C and that they Will die Cause of me...this feeling has left me in a complete mess and my mind is also creating false memories Where i think of a night out, and At first i cannot remember anything bad and than all of a sudden i 'remember' being with a guy and my mind tries to confirm my worst fears. I constantly feel like people are going to die Cause of me... i have suicidal feelings too Because i do not deserve to live if others Will die Cause of me....

i just posted this to write it of my chest, and maybe find people with the same kind of problems