Desperate now...am I a horrible person? - OCD Support

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Desperate now...am I a horrible person?

Vickylou30 profile image
5 Replies

Please can someone help!! I’m suffering really bad with ocd.... my particular fear is ever hurting anyone I am absolutely terrified of this happening it’s taking over my whole life! Has anyone else experienced this fear? Is it the ocd or am I really at risk of these things happening? Any help would be appreciated as I really can’t cope or see a way out of this.

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Vickylou30
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cheshcat profile image
cheshcat

My youngest daughter has OCD, not me, but this is a very common OCD fear/intrusive thought.

Do you have any local therapists and/or psychiatrists that specialize in OCD? Your primary care can put you on medication and that may need to take effect before therapy can help but ideally you will need cognitive behavior therapy.

You are not crazy and you are not going to hurt anyone. You have OCD ❤️ there is help.

Sallyskins profile image
Sallyskins

It really is the OCD. In fact people who have OCD are often less likely to harm or hurt people because we are so afraid of our own thoughts and are not likely to act on them.

I know how it feels not to be coping, but there is a way out of it, or at least letting it take over your life. Medication can take the worst of it off, so if you aren't on it do consider it. Also CBT can help you learn more helpful ways of thinking, so you don't tear into yourself.

I've found the book Mind over Mood by Dennis Greenberger and Christine A Padesky very helpful. It teaches you how to challenge negative ways of thinking using CBT techniques.

Sallyskins profile image
Sallyskins

And no, please don't think you're a horrible person! Because clearly, you are not.

becky12428 profile image
becky12428

Hi Vicky...I too have had OCD for years.and for the most part..I have had long breaks from it,years worth of breaks due to CBT,DBT,talk therapy,and Clonopin. My episodes have always seem to relapse around the birth of my babies. I have a 3 month old,and I started getting the thoughts before she was even born...very distressing for a mom to be,with other children to talk care of. The Anxiety you feel,and the fear..no matter how uncomfortable..is how therapists and psychiatrists know you are not capable of doing these things. Going to Mental Health is a good idea,and meds if you can tolerate. I unfortunately don’t respond well to any antidepressants,only benzodiazepines. Hard as it is, u have to let the thoughts pass thru...and don’t fight them..just gently remind yourself your not your thoughts. It’s hard,and I am struggling as well..I tell myself one day at a time. I have the hard OCD thoughts as well..a hard fight..but a lot could be aggravating your OCD..stress,hormonal changes,Depression,lack of sleep. I am here if you need to talk. Try to you this forum for support l,not so much reassurance,b/c the reassurance seeking is a compulsion as a result of your OCD. Lots of love...and PRAY,journal,excercise...I am here if you need to talk.

Vickylou30 profile image
Vickylou30

Hi thank you so much for your reply! It really is terrifying :-( its picking on my marriage too at the moment.... I’m obsessing over what if I just leave my husband? What if I fall out of love with him and break his heart.... it’s breaking my heart just thinking about it as I really love him so much and don’t ever want that to happen. Is that ocd too?

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