Hello. My name is Alf. I'm 25 and have struggled with OCD/ptsd for the better part of 15 years now. It's always been intrusive thoughts, equalizing, and avoiding certain things. I'm here now because I've fallen so far lately that I haven't been able to ignore the terrible things I think of myself. You see, I've been through exposure therapy and have made great strides to improve my life. Even made it as far as getting married and having a family.. anyway, sometimes I can't ignore it and I make the worst decisions. I was away for work, fell into a panic attack, and long story short, I quit my job.. My career. I was recently promoted and at a school that was in the long run, going to be a million dollar education completely paid for by my employer. I was pushed a little too far and then the anxiety just took over. I spent 2 weeks yelling at everyone and telling them that I was done. Now, I sit here and it all replays over and over again. I have never felt so lost. How do I stop sabotaging my life?
Ruining my life again..: Hello. My name is Alf... - OCD Support
OCD Support
Ruining my life again..
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Hi Alf. You need to go for help ASAP and don't put off, don't be ashamed neither . I'm 55 yrs old and have suffered with OCD for over 30 yrs because I was to scared to go for help . Let me know what happens .
Hello, I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles. You going through therapy doesn't mean that at times you won't experience relapses. OCD is chronic and even with great recovery it can still creep up with triggers or stress. Stress is a big one for me. I'm early in recovery but making steps but yesterday had a bad day. I can't work and at times because of my primary theme I struggle to even be a mother to my children because I avoid. I would say definitely reach out for help from a doctor or therapist and explai you feel like this. Self sabotage can happen for a variety of reasons, it can be you needing a break but not wanting to give important things up like your job, it can be self fulfilling prophecy or just being angry at yourself for having OCD even though it's not your fault. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain causing false messages to misfire that we then attach meaning to etc lots of things could be why you feel you are self sabotaging. The main thing reach out for help and know you are not alone. Bad days do not make you bad, the thoughts or intensity of thoughts have no baring on you as a person. I've got a Facebook page where if you wanted to have a look you are welcome to, by searching The real housewife of OCD on Facebook, all the best X
Taking over my life. 
OCD sufferer for many years
Me and my OCD
My OCD is too much to handle right now!