I have been suffering with paranoia about HIV for about a year now. I have recognised it as OCD and severe anxiety and am on antidepressants to try and sort part of the problem. I believe this to have been triggered by various things such as work stress.
The problem is this: I am scared to be happy and enjoy what would seem like a perfect life because nothingg can be perfect can it? I am a newly wed to an amazing man, I have a gorgeous family and a great job. So I have created this problem that I have HIV to bring myself down to a crashing false reality. This is from my past where I believed everything was great with a guy I was seeing when in actual fact he was cheating on my for months and everyone seemed to know about it apart from me.
I have had LOADS of HIV tests that have all come back negative but my brain refuses to believe them. I've now creted another scenario to make me get another test done. I've imagined that I've seen a syringe on a night out 7 weeks ago and imagined that I've come into contact with it. I KNOW how crazy this is but feel compelled to believe it!
Has anyone every had HIV OCD specifically?