What does 'disabled' look like?

[little_em18]

emmadoree.wordpress.com/201...

[Dotty7]

Excellent points. People sometimes say to me things like, "You always look really well whenever I see you out and about." To which I reply, "That's because I don't go out and about on the days when I'm feeling bad and bit of me hurt."

[Hidden]

dotty7 same here even my family look at m and say you look fine/good , the only person who knows the full extent of my disabilites is my 14 year old daughter who helps me every single day

[shirlthegirl]

Because you look well, doesn't mean you are feeling well inside, As all of us know on this site,

this does make a lot of sentence....

Shirley x

[petalnumber2]

Well little_em18, firstly I am sorry that you are bogged down with arthritis at your age, at least mine didn't rear it's ugly head until the ripe age of 63.

I have come to the conclusion that people say "how well you look" because that is what they want to see in you.

I've observed a lot of this kind of behaviour toward my husband during recent years, by nieghbours and close friends alike.

If I were in my husbands shoes I am sure I wouldn't be as cheerful as he is, if I had what he has to cope with. He is wheelchair bound through diabetes and it's long term effects, he's on dialysis with diet and fluid restrictions, has breathing difficulties, skin problems and excruciating nerve pain sometimes. The next hill he has to climb is coming to terms with the possibility of having his right leg amputated because of a large ulcer under his foot.

Though people know his predicament they look at him and say "you are looking well today". Well, what else can they say?

It is all too easy to assume that the person we stand next to in que at a checkout for example is perfectly fit and healthy, but they might suffer dreadfully with something or other.

Human positivity, that's what it comes down to, I think!

Thank heavens for this technalogical age we live in, because we have the means to talk to one another about our sleepless nights and converse about different drugs and treatments for arthritis and associated problems.

I really hope there are other sites out there, like this one, for other illnesses and conditions where people can find information and companionship amongst fellow sufferers.

It's Monday, the start of a new week, and there's snow outside on the ground, but I positively wish everone Good Morning!! xx

[Dancingqueen]

Well Littlemm18 I have to agree with everything thats been said. It isn't easy, it used to annoy me when people said Oh you look so well but I let it go over my head now.. People don't know how you feel or how much pain you are in.. I suppose it would be even worse if they said you looked terrible. Just try to retain your sense of humour which I know is hard sometimes. Take each day as its comes & make the most of the good ones. Take care.xx

[sheenerweener]

i get told nearly everyday that i look alright,and because i push myself to walk round the block everyday i also get told you can walk ok!!! they can,t see inside my hip and see the pain i,am in as i walk round the block or the embassesment when i can,t open a can or peel the potatoes,so thats my rant for the day xx

[mistymeana]

Think a lot of us have been there little em. I've always looked younger than I am and I've lost count of the number of dirty looks I've had when using a disabled parking bay or, on the days when nothing wants to bend or support my weight reliably, used a disabled loo. As for the thoughtless comments .... don't get me started. You tend to grow a rhino hide after a while. Hope people's thoughtlessness isn't getting you down too much sweetie x

[allanah]

I have done it myself Em. I went to a support group and in my head there would be lots of people in chairs and crutches but NO everyone ( except me!) we're glamorous and " didn't look disabled. " I did blog about it as I really really should have realised more about this hidden disease. I learned a big lesson that night. Happy new year to you and yours say hi for me to them xx