Gonna look like a fool...again!

Well today i have a dilemma. My confused, crazy mother in law has to go for a chest appointment at the hospital. Hubby is away , daughter at school. So I arranged patient ambulance for her and as she cannot remember a thing I was gonna go in the car and meet her there, she is not allowed to get medication now as its under lock and key due to her a) memory loss and b) suicidal tendencies !!!

But over the past few days I can't walk, and having real pain, in bed with morphine just now. So I though later I will all the hospital and ask of I struggle to the front desk will they take me to the chest unit in a chair??? So then there will be one old confused woman, one morphinei up RA women both in chairs!!!!! But someone needs to be there for her appointment?!

What to do!

Not sure about cancelling as it would be difficult as the social worker will expect us to get her there. Carers not free to take her, no other family but us!

24 Replies

  • My impression is that you are a very organised person & if any family member could have sorted this out you would have. Seems to me you've considered all angles and it's now up to the social worker to go into overdrive & come up with something quick.

    Although have you got a trusted friend who could step in perhaps???

    Hope you find a solution Allanah,

    Luce xx

  • Think I got it sorted!!!!! Thanks Luce!! I just got inspiration and thought PALS are supposed to be there for patient information not just complaints. I called the woman she said, take your mobile and when u get parked call the security office and they will come and help me!!!! Wow, well gonna try and hope it goes to plan. organised moi, lol I used to be, not so sure anymore with the constant list of things I forget now, !!! Xx

  • Well done to you for thinking on your feet(or not as the case may be) There is always an answer when you stop and think about it. Hope all goes well with your mother-in-law.xxx

  • You know that you can go with her in the patient ambulance I use it ever week for my warfarin check up .

  • I asked them and they said no , as I would be her escort I couldn't be disabled therefore not able to help her.

  • Allanah you sure are going through the mill. You are doing really well i am sure things today will go as planed, Take care and hope Mother in law gets on ok xx

  • Thanks all, will see what happens. It is very hard as she is aggressive and rude and shouting particularly when outside but with her just getting out of itu it's necessary, I will ask the doc if we can justifiably cut down the visits to every six month than every three, . Also just completed a form for extra care home for her, fingers crossed.

  • good luck allanah for the day ahead, hope everything goes to plan.

  • Sounds like hell on ice to me - well done for getting it as sorted as you possibly can and good luck - let us know how it all goes please. Tilda xx

  • Glad you have sorted things out, will be thinking of you, take care XX

  • Thanksxx

  • Thanks wot a lovely thing to say xx

  • you are a real angel helping others when ill yourself.. you take it safely, hope it goes well. bet you were an excellent nurse xx

  • Awww it's so lovely to get compliments and not the rubbish she throws at me, thank u cheered me up!

  • Sorry I missed all your action. You sure have it hard. It a good job you have a sense of humour

  • Well, gosh today......

    The patient ambulance picked up mum in law ( aka witchiepoo! Sorry Summer, I am not so nice mwahahaha) and I drove to the hospital. When I got there it was visiting time and there was a q a mile long. So I called the chest clinic said I was on my way not to see witchiepoo till I got there as she is confused and aggressive, ok they said!

    Eventually got to the disabled parking, surprise all full, drat!

    So I did what pals said and phoned security and told him my dilemma!! He laughed and said well no idea what I can do( luckily I know their sense of humour) so I said get your finger out and find m a spot. So I told him where I was and he said, in that bright green car? It's horrible, I giggled and told him to stop being cheeky, he then told me to park at the en of the road and wait. I did this and saw a guy pushing a wheelchair down the road, laughing his head off.

    So he took me telling me jokes all the way to the clinic. W causing trouble telling everyone..oh it's arrived!! Anyway saw doc told him bout confusion, carers, overdoses TV, when she said no ,I said actually its yes etc, so he actually thanked me for coming and raised his eyebrows up.

    So they called for a porter and the same guy came, straight back to my car, how's that for service. I had to leave m in law at the clinic as the ambulance was coming for her, the nurses were there and happy for her to sit, I said ring me when u get in, this was 4.30. 5...6...7...7.30 no call, no answer to the phone. I called the hospital, yes she left. So it dawned on me, she is not allowed on her own, she would have taken advantage of the ambulance folk and yes, we found her in the village, couldn't remember going to the hospital, or why she wasn't home, but hey ho, jeez what more could we do, u try to keep them safe and the second he can she tricks people. Oh well doc said we could leave her review longer for none months, thank goodness.

    So had my Humira and off to dream xxxxx thanks for all your comments, they really helped.

  • Well done Allanah!


  • Cheers x

  • it sounds like dementia im afraid allanah.. your mother in law that is not you?!! I did care in community as a community care worker for a dementia charity (paid!! not a lot though) for a dementia charity did this for 3 years whilst studying for my pharmacy qualification.

  • The GP said not initially but I think it is now! Heis gonna do some tests , it's hard to deal with her cos of the aggression though. But she always was feisty and bad tempered as a young woman, so now she old it's coming out a bit more. The social worker says, don't try to bring her to reality and speak gently , so that's what we do!!!!

  • Oh Allanah, I feel for you. So sorry as I know this isn't easy as this is something I have had to recently do, to take my mother who has Alzheimer's to an Audiology appointment and me swinging between two sticks with balloon knees! Insanity, yes. My Mum is mainly nice and loving though, then quickly naughty then sometimes ... Nasty. But not often nasty but was last week! (crushed my swollen fingers in a rage) She is nearly 93 and more mobile than I am but wobbles a bit and lunges at me for support!! Mum in law sounds a handful :-(. My Mum was aware why she was there but didn't want to go.

    Like MWNN said - Patient ambulance With you both in seems the best way. Next time if you have to go again. Why do we try do these things by ourselves then end up in agony and housebound recovering!! WAAAAHHH! Our RA can do without the stress of all this and it is so hard not to do it when it is family.

    (Sounds very much like dementia for your Mum. It took six months before someone would even begin to recognise my Mum had it. She had crazy OCD before that and many eccentricities then a fall and bang to the head brought on dementia very fast. My Mum is obsessed with cleaning out everyone's litter bins, mulching rubbish in water like papier mâché and bunging the loos up in the care home she lives in. I am scared she will spread germs. Stresses me so much, At least she's keeling some plumber in business!! Thing is as she is so mobile the staff don't know she's doing it!! She also thinks she is some kind of Gok Wan and alters her clothes with scissors she steals from the office!!!)

    Anyhow Sweet Lady, hope you are soon hurting less and love and hugs to you. You are very kind what you have done for her. (Hope you had a good sleep and no dreams of Witchipoo!!)

    Julie xxxxx

  • Thanks! They wouldn't let me go as I could only go as her carer and as I was disabled they wouldn't let me lol anyway recovering now, hope she gets a place in extra care xx

  • Sounds like she is in need of more assistance, definitely. As I said it is so sad and although my Mum has a lot going for her it is hard to see her doing things which are bizarre and no coincidence my RA went mad 18 months ago when she fell etc.


  • Hi none of the reply buttons working today! Anyway neon it's awful. She gets now carers 4 times a day, lunch club three times a week but it's the wandering that or ties me. The social worker says there is no need for a door alarm and maybe I am overprotective! But hey ho will just have to let her and hope she gets extra care soon xxxxx my RA appeared after bullying at work. My occy health and hr were brilliant though!

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