Hi all - I am managing physical aspects of R.A but gained some anger issues........

[Jan66]

I am taking things very personally and flying off the handle a lot especially with my nearest and dearest, then, of course, crying and feeling a fool and upset.

Any advice anyone? Please

[Hidden]

oh Jan i was the exact same, i went to the gp and got antidepressants - thats not for everyone i know but they did me a world of good. I was so relunctant to go down that road but once i did, my emotional state got so much better. I had hoped to get counselling or something like that but the waiting list for that was nearly a year and i knew that i couldn't cope with that wait.

[Hidden]

It's horrible feeling like that Jan, I've been there too. I've used anti depressants in the past and they had their place at the time and helped me through difficult times. At the moment I find that a walk in the fresh air or some gentle swimming helps lift my mood. Hope you feel better soon.

Paula x

[Sherrie]

Hi Jan,

I know exactly how you are feeling. And like Mads, I went to my primary, who sent me to a Psychiatrist who placed me on a low dose Antidepressant...I too, was reluctant but with RA you do experience guilt, sadness, pain, and the beast called Anger. I am on Welbutrin (150 mg) which is a serotonin inhibitor. Counseling is good, but what you need to know is that you are not alone, and if you are spiritual pray about it, and if not...let others know, and we will pray for you,

Sherrie

[Archaeopteryx]

Hi Jan,

me too! I had my first session with a counseller this morning and it really helped. It felt great to have nearly a whole hour to go on and on on about the things that are really getting me down, to someone who is paid to listen and without feeling guilty that I was taking the time and energy of my nearest and dearest. She helped cut through my general moaning and helped me crystalize exactly some of the things that are getting me down. Can't yet guarantee it'll stop me having a go at anyone who comes too near, but it feels like it might do...

Hang on in there - and KEEP asking for help, from anyone who'll listen

take care

Liz

[helixhelix]

Yes do talk to GP about how you feel, my experience is that rheumy is only bothered about my joints and not my emotions. But are you taking any steroids? They made me totally nuts, with red rage and weeping fits that were uncontrollable. Polly

[Judi]

It's all a part of the RA .... anger .... crying ...... mood swings.

So it's not your fault.

They are now looking into why RA improves during pregnancy - well, what's taken them so long? (Anger, crying, mood swings ....... probably all down to the hormones as well)

RA has a lot more to answer for than just joints and etc.

Judi

[Jan66]

Thanks all for replying - it's a bit much when I am arguing with my 91 year old mum who seems to wind me up at the moment, AND in front of guests!!!!

We made up straight away though but these outbursts are bothering me. I think I am just SO bloody angry that I have this crap disease ( as we all must be) that I can't always keep it inside. I would love for someone to pray for me - that is such a lovely thought!!!

Off to GP now, he is lovely but I must concentrate on what I want to say rather than gazing adoringly at him.........

Thanks again all, and thing of you.

Jan

[megant]

Hi Jan

I was diagnosed in Feb this year, and I too cried for days, even now still have days when I feel down, but apparently depression comes with having RA, went absolutely crazy at my nearest and dearest. At that point all I wanted was for someone to understand what I was going through, emotionally and physically.

Then, I found a support group, best thing I ever did. A lady at the group told me "that I shouldn't expect people to understand, the only people that will understand are people that have RA" and how true that is.

It is a cruel desease because on the outside we look ok, but inside, some days feel like shit !!!!!!

I'm considering asking my GP to put me on anti-depressants too.

Hope you got on okay seeing your GP this morning, and didn't gaze too much lol

Take care

Alison

x

[Sam59]

Hi all just been reading all your comments. It has cheered me up to find that other RA sufferers feel angry, shout at their nearest and dearest and cry. I was beginning to think it was just me. Friends and family tell me I look fine but some days I want to stay in bed and cry. I have looked for a support group close to me in Surrey but cannot find one.

Maybe I should start one up?

Hope you all have a good day.

Samx

[AllyMac]

Thank goodness for you all! I feel exactly like this - shouting at my husband and son for nothing really in particular, being very angry then dissolving into tears. Obviously I wish none of you were going through the same but it is such a relief to know I am not the only one.

I haven't got my RA under control at all, not taking any meds yet (diagnosed in July) and my consultant is not at all concerned about my emotional state. He can't understand that even though my condition is worsening and quite bad I am worried about the drugs. All a bit complex but is about finding drugs to suit me trying to conceive when the likelihood of that is virtually nil but I'm not willing to give up on that dream yet.

Thank you for being there.

Ally x

[Hidden]

Hi, I just thought I would share with you some of the things that have helped me with my "anger issues". Mine's like PMT on steroids. RA has to be hormone related surely?

I tried anti-depressants but they made me put so much weight on, I had to stop. I found out from my GP there is a free online CBT course called Beating the Blues. It has some useful tricks for distraction and reflection.

Also, I used to write long pages of "rage and fury" to myself about the injustice of RA and what it's like and what I had lost, job, fitness, sanity, etc. I found these recently and they made me laugh so much, as I am so over all that now.

Nowadays I have a mental list of what I am grateful for, and it includes things like "spending zero time with that horrible boss I had!" and "getting up when I feel like it" as well as obvious things like my OH and my son and daughter and my dogs, my garden and as much time as I need for anything.

Having RA is like studying a really hard course, so much to learn, techniques to develop and practice. I think we all end up stronger and wiser in the end. I still have my furies but I announce them first and say I just need to vent!! So take no notice. (But my little dog still goes and hides till I come down again.)

[oldtimer]

One of the things that helped me (and I had a BIG problem with the anger) was attending a course on managing long-term conditions - it used to be called Expert Patient programme, now Educating Patients Programme (EPP).

I think there are also some specialised ones just for people with RA, but I don't think it matters - the problems with a long-term illness and the grief (and anger) over loosing your health, your interests, your way of life, are very similar for everyone with long-term conditions.

The sharing of experiences, learning to pace myself and set realistic targets, together with other people, helped such a lot. I still get angry and tearful - but much less so, and it's more controllable.

See if you can find a local course, or some internet information if there's a waiting list.