So after putting on my lippie, I toddled off and out in my little car, to take most of the dead fronds?? from my cordyline (I suppose I could have weaved them into hats sold them to raise some dosh for NRAS.
Yuck I here you say. That job done I went to the hospital to see Rheumy specialist nurse new to me but very savvy with the meds etc. She had a look at the wound did a consult with Chief RA nurse. THEN Hooray I had my depo jab, last night I had a couple of glasses of wine and 3 bars of chocolate. Followed by a reasonable nights sleep.
This morning I took my first Prozac pill, i forgot to say I also had a consultation with my GP, no I was embarasssed to say! :(we talked about the acceptance of having a disease that can control what you can fit in our daily lives,having to mark your calender in Red must do it amber well that can wait and green jobs fit them in where you can. I don't think I've accepted the RA yet, I am trying to. Have any of you had a meeting with a councillor? Did it help?
I love my job, meeting and talking to either clients or reps, planning something that makes people smile, but I know I can't go back yet even if I cut back to 3 short days.
Tricia x
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Tricia-P
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Welcome to the world of Prozac...me too. Been on them again now since February. Some days I feel down still and I think did I take it? and of course I have and at one time the rheummy nurse thought I had better ask the GP for something stronger because I was still weepy. But I Was determined not to go deeper into that route and it as talking to a counsellor that helped me with that. I have always advocated overloading your probs, and I have overtime seen a psychologist and a counsellor. I think if you think it will do you good,then it will. Does that make sense. I find it the best thing for making you feel better and get things off your chest and it helps you look at ways at helping yourself. It is great if you get someone you can really relate to.
I worked in mental health in a support environment, when I first came down to Devon,which is very mentally exhausting,so you really have to be ready to go back to any sort of care work or at least have very very good supervision and an understanding line manager.
It takes a good while for the anti-depressants to really kick in,so you need time for yourself at the moment. I Know its blooming depressing, but keep blogging and plan something that makes you smile! Simples! Ha
Look after yourself and take care Julie x
Hi Tricia - I think I know how you feel as I too have been really down and weepy during the past 2 months. RA is just part of the problem I know, lots of other stresses going on in my life at the moment. I have seen a Psychologist who has helped me greatly, mainly getting things back into proportion and learning to say "no" rather than overloading myself. I was diagnosed 18 months ago and feel that only now am I coming to terms with living with RA. I think you have to grieve for your past life first. Try and think positively and recognise every challenge that you succeed in, however small and insignificant (hey I managed to get the rotary washing line up on my own yesterday - it wasn't pretty but I have now learnt the technique !). I would suggest that you don't rush back to work yet if you don't feel ready, are they an understanding employer? Could you just go in for 1 day to start with ?
Take care and have a good day, Susannah xx
well done you.. no shame in anti depressants.. wine or choc... be careful with the amount of wine with the prozac.... one glass or so is ok but wouldnt have much more... small glasses that is not them goblet things you take care lol x
Hi Trica, I take citalopram and amytriptiline to treat me, I too have arranged to have a meeting with a counseller. I tried to make myself belive I could cope with it all, but when I have a bad flare thats when it hits me hard or when I am unable to do things for myself ( a lot of the time) it really gets me frustrated, and I have been letting a lot of feelings build up so much so that a couple of weeks ago when I seen my OT she had a full hour of my blubbering away to her.
But I needed to get it out and sometimes I think its easier to explain to people you dont know, its hard to explain to your loved ones how you feel because you dont want to upset them, so I think counselling is a great way of getting all your emotions out.
Ive not had my counselling session yet however I think it will really help to get it all out in the open how I am feeling.
Hope you are feeling less weepy today xxxx big hugs to you xxx
Hi Tricia, I had counseling,quite a few years ago now as I couldn't seem to accept what was happening to me.
I'd had problems conceiving and had been trying for ten years, in that time I had failed ivf, which is an exhausting process in itself. But, eventually I got pregnant the natural way. Unfortunately though during that time I had several miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy, eventually I had my son but at the same time had the RA symptoms.
I somehow found it so difficult to carry on with life as I couldn't enjoy my son and was sick of the pain and staying in hospital.
I actually felt suicidal at times I really didn't think I could go on any more. It was only after seeing the counselor I got myself sorted, it enabled me to talk, cry, do what ever I needed to come to terms with what was happening to me.
I had to cope and I wanted to have a normal family life too, as we all know we have to cope find it so extremely difficult at times and still do.
It's all about finding ways to cope and to help us come to terms with what as happened to us.
I'm sure you will find it helpful, as I know I did.
I don't think you have accepted RA yet but you will.
I know now that its about life now and what is happening now, life's too short to worry about the past its about looking forward and enjoying what we have and learning to make the most of what we can and can't do.
Thanks for the support, I find it really difficult to explain how I feel, I suppose sometimes it's like waking up in the morning, now I have this dry eye syndrome as well, I try to just move my eyes a teeny bit at a time, my GP who is also an eye man has given me creams and drops.
Getting up in the Morning moves to a mellow tune on the stereo
move left ankle bonus points if you don't get a pain down your toes and into your ankle. knees next move gently, eyes your turn just very gently move them with eye lids shut shrug shoulders try rotating my elbows then wrists and fingers,and you still have,nt got a leg out of bed it's Crepe.
I'm trying to find new words that can replace naughty ones.
anyhow i've started my diary for my DLA I really can't be bothered with the hassle but it's important with out having DLA you have not got a scooby doo getting anything else.
best wishes Tricia x
Hi Tricia and everyone
Pleased to hear your appointment went well and you got the much needed depo jab. Hope it does the business and helps control things for you. Well done you on treating yourself too ... no harm in a drop or two of wine and some choc, enjoy! I don't think we spoil ourselves often enough and we really should!
I think at some point we have all been down the route you are now following and I think you have won the battle You have accepted that the thing to do is ask for help in those areas where you need it. Not an easy thing to do but it shows a degree of acceptance. It is really hard to accept something that runs amok with your life but there is a secret ...
1. Take the advice and pills offered by the rheumatologist. Yes they may have side effects but often these are a small price to pay for the knowledge that the RA is controlled and you will not end up with joint damage. The doctor has all your test results and does actually know best (well mostly!).
2. Like anything with life changing concerns (getting married, having a baby, moving house, death of a relative), these things take time to adjust to, it doesn't happen overnight. Just think about when you got married ... how long did that take to adjust to?! Stuff left on the floor, toothpaste all over washbasin, alarm clock ringing way too early, hair in the plug hole (oh, my goodness that bad!). Some things we just never get used to!! BUT RA you will, really. It will get better to a point where for the main part it just trundles along beside you (just remember to slap it down every now and again as necessary!).
3. You start to do the 'traffic light' jobs as a matter of course and then realise that anyone with an ounce of common sense should be doing this anyway (even those without RA). It makes sense to spread the load and not put yourself under pressure.
4. What is especially good for the psyche is a period each day, say 15-20 minutes, when you put the boots on, wrap up and walk down the lane, round the block (or farm in Julie's case :)), through the town and greet the people (animals in Julies case!) you meet. It gets you out, you make the effort and you're still part of Joe Public. Sometimes hard, but do it anyway, it's an achievement and you will feel spurred on by the effort you have made.
5. Finally as Mand says what's done is done. There is no point dwelling on the past and 'what-ifs'. It's the here and now that's important and how to move forward with optimism. Please don't dwell on what you've lost, it won't help you and you will feel down. Today is the first day of accepting and starting over with good prospects for a full and enjoyable life. You are each in charge, not the RA (I know it may seem otherwise at times!) which is actually only a small part of our lives. Life gets better even with wonky joints
I am a trained counsellor (not particularly in RA related matters) and over the years have done several different types of therapy, all very different but equally rewarding. It can be helpful to be able to speak to someone not caught up in your life, an opportunity to offload and move on. Not all areas have counselling available, must depend upon local funding, but it is a very useful service if that opportunity presents itself. Alternatively you can always ring the NRAS helpline who may be able to put you in touch with a telephone volunteer.
Tricia, good idea of Susannah's, could you perhaps go into work one day a week (when you are feeling better!) or maybe two half days, just to keep you in the link and give yourself something to focus on?
Sorry gone on too long (as usual, raises eyebrows sarcastically!),
Lyn x
PS Crepe? I thought, what is she talking about ... ah right, avoidance of bad words!
my eyes get dry too.. 2years on still no counselling or pain management appt..welcome to gloucestershire nhs.. just lucky the only tall building round here is the tower blocg at gloucester royal and i wont want to jump of that cos might end up being a patient there lol..... im paying 45 for private physio tomorrow.. the urgent waiting lsit at grh for hydro/ physio is ten weeks!!!!
Hi Tricia,
With my prof hat (counsellor and therapist) on I can tell you that statistically, 80% of people with arthritis (of any type) have an episode of depression requiring medical attention. That's 8 out of 10 peeps - it could be said then to be a 'normal' reaction to such a big adjustment. No need for embarrassment or shame and as Lyn said you've taken that important first step and admitted that you need some help with this
Something that I've found really helpful is a book (and course) called 'Living Well with Pain and Illness' - sorry I'm too tired to go upstairs and check the book for the authors name but the website is a uk one called Breathworks. They run courses around the uk and a residential course - briefly it's based on mindfulness meditation - the book is well worth buying and I use their cd's too. The author has lived with chronic pain for many years and understands the impact that this has
Take the meds, rest and be kind to yourself. A phased return to work when you are really well-enough and feeling emotionally more on an even keel sounds an excellent idea. You start with a few hours and work up to whatever level of part-time is manageable. You can ask your gp for a referral for a talking therapy on the nhs - there may well be a pct counsellor based at your gp surgery.
Thank you all your support it's wonderful and I have taken your sage advise, I have a traffic light calendar in the kitchen and will use it.
I even did a bit of culinary deception, as last evening we had friends over for supper, I made lasagne on Tuesday kept it in the fridge, went to Jamie Olivers corner shop fresh fruit salad bar.So all i had to do was put one course in the oven chop a bit of salad and make my delicious Greek yoghurt and honey to go with the fruit. Simples!!
A few weeks ago I would have thrashed myself making a 5 course dinner and be so Kn+++++d I would have to stay in bed all the next day.
Lyn and Cece thank you for your learned and caring words, I'm going to take up the councillor offer from my Dr I see her on Monday evening
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