In need of guidance

[Jack2316]

A different post to what you will normally read but please, if you have any information or experience, share it with me.

So I'm 24 turning 25 in a few months, and for the last 5 years I've been struggling with severe pain in my feet and knees. It was only last year in May that I got my diagnosis and since then I've been on Etacernept injection therapy that I inject weekly. It's actually been helping a lot, before every second of my life was pain but I know have some comfort and strength back. Going to gym and building strength back into my legs. All positive on that end, except the long NHS waits between each appointment, last August was when I was last seen and I got booked in for February 21st 2025.

However, a week before I started my injection therapy, my job of 2 years let me go. I was with an agency which they cut ties with and they decided to not sign me on fully due to low attendance, which I knew was an issue, always has been especially through the years where I had no idea what my condition was. This didn't stop me from being the best employee I could be when on the job, I always gave 110% because I always knew I was a liability. This was last August since I lost my job and due to having a better understanding of what my condition is, I resorted to PIP and Universal Credit.

Before I get to my question, there is another thing you should understand about my situation. I'm 24, and I still live with my dad. The last 5 years I haven't been able to settle with a career nor have the ability to gather funds to move out. As you can imagine, keeping a job was hard. My father and I are not close and he's mentally in a worse place than me, for an example; He took an early retirement in January 2024 and since then all he has done is sleep and avoid the world. It's come to a point where he won't accept help or listen and my other family members tell me to leave him be to do what he wants. So with everything I have been through these last few years, this is the person I have around me and I've reached a point where I'm absolutely desperate to escape. Start fresh and surround myself with good energy where I am motivated every single day to strive to be better. He's recently spoke to me and admitted he is broke, he has spent all his money on dodgy watches and some other stuff that I rather not discuss as its an embarrassment. So I now can no longer trust him and I cannot spend the rest of my life looking after him.

So here's where I'm stuck and need guidance. I have no money except the £900ish income I get from PIP and Universal credit. I've been banging on the door at my local council to get seen for help about my situation but I still have no date set. So I am lost and don't really know how to get out. Who is best to speak to. Is there any sites that will help. Has anyone here been in a similar situation and could advise me on what I can do. I have been searching for jobs ever since I lost my last job but where I am located, opportunities are slim. I really want to relocate and start again.

Thank you to those who took their time to read my story and I look forward to hearing from you.

Jack x

[Deeb1764]

what’s your location at the moment

[Jack2316 in reply to Deeb1764]

Based in Lincolnshire. Live in a village between Boston and Spalding. Lincoln is the nearest city about 40 - 50 miles away.

[Deeb1764 in reply to Jack2316]

Oh we moved from there to Yorkshire rentals cheaper etc and better quality of life

[Jack2316 in reply to Deeb1764]

It's definitely lacking in a lot of areas, I have my eyes on Nottinghamshire as I visit a hospital there every year for my Cochlear Implants.

[Deeb1764 in reply to Jack2316]

Good plan, university there for work and age group good too

[Kati66 in reply to Deeb1764]

That’s what we are doing when hubby retires, live near Louth at the minute. We both love Yorkshire so we are making plans to decide which areas to look at. We have two holidays booked in Yorkshire this year. Xxx

[Kati66 in reply to Jack2316]

Hi Jack,

I know what it’s like for young people in Lincolnshire, my youngest son has cerebral palsy and has really struggled with finding his way in life. The job centre in Louth were very good with him and put him onto a scheme that helps disabled people find jobs. Like you, he really wanted to work and but had taken a lot of time off college due to some surgeries and being really poorly. He did get a really good job in the end and loves it. He now rents his own place and is gaining his independence.

It might be worth contacting the job centre to see if they can help. Many companies are encouraged to employ disabled people now. That might be a gateway for you to get away from your dad and be independent and happy.

[Jack2316 in reply to Kati66]

This is definitely inspiring me. Thank you for leaving a comment. May I ask the details of what type of job he does? Can private message if you want to leave some things confidential.

[Kati66 in reply to Jack2316]

He’s training to be an engineer, which is something he always wanted to do but college wouldn’t let him take their engineering course as he didn’t have a 5 in maths!

It might be worth contacting the job centre to see how they can help you.

[Jack2316 in reply to Kati66]

Wish him the best of luck from me 🙏🏻

[medway-lady]

If you move out and make yourself deliberately homeless then the consequences can be dire. I’d suggest going to your local advice centre and also contact Social Services regarding your dad.Although he isn’t your responsibility he might need some serious help and just a thought if he is a tenant and claiming benefit your dad needs financial advice too. Do you have enough A levels to get into further education. To improve your prospects as it’s so difficult these days for most young people. I think if I were you I’d try to sort out dad and try to work out what I want to do be that backpack to Australia, or go back to school. The local councils only have to house children so I think that is a no, no but perhaps a friend can help for a bit. Sofa surfing is not good though and really you need an address for work and that is something else to consider. I wish you luck but have you considered volunteering something like hospital cafe, or animal shelter. It might show your commitment and you’d get a reference if a new opportunity arises.

[Jack2316 in reply to medway-lady]

Appreciate the comment.

Further education is something I have looked into, I used to be a basketball player and I wanted to go into a basketball college when I left school, but my parents forced me to take a 'trade' course in mechanics.

I would love to revisit that and learn the coaching and training side of things. Be involved in the sport.

Right now I'm just waiting on the local council to give me an appointment to be seen so I can place the first stepping stones down. Backpacking in Australia has always been recommended to me, I just don't see how I can, financially.

[wilbertjellyfish]

I think volunteering is a good idea to help improve your employability as well as looking at college courses that interest you. It will also give you a chance to meet new people and not be stuck at home with your dad.

Have you spoken to the benefits office about support to get back to work schemes.

I think if you could get a job and more financial stability it will help you to then move out

[Jack2316 in reply to wilbertjellyfish]

Will hopefully be getting in touch with them soon. Funnily enough you mention volunteering, I enquired over Xmas with Cochlear ( I have implants bilaterally since age 3) to look into work/ volunteering to help those younger or older who are dealing with hearing loss for the first time. Still haven't had a response and I actually did the same thing back in COVID times and still not heard from them. Number of emails to try again but no response.

I am more actively pursuing a job as we speak, I have a health passport that will help me but in the past once I seem to show them the health passport, I never reach phase 2 or 2nd interview. I will keep trying though. Always have been.

[wilbertjellyfish in reply to Jack2316]

You are doing well. It's very difficult to get no response and knock backs for something beyond your control. If I wasn't self employed I'd have been sacked long ago. What about looking at other youth sports to coach?

[Jack2316 in reply to wilbertjellyfish]

I haven't opened my mind up to other sports in all honesty .I think in this country football is too overpopulated in people trying for that sort of position. I just have a greater passion for basketball and I believe I have great analytical knowledge of basketball more than any other sport.

But I will use my time now, whilst I'm waiting for a few things to explore abit on education. I do need something to focus on and I'm always a great and quick learner with everything I do.

Thank you for the kind words.

[wilbertjellyfish in reply to Jack2316]

I'm a mum, kids play hockey, rugby and cricket. With little kids they just need a fun adult to supervise more than a professional. Church and community organisations, youth clubs, like guides and scouts also....I'm not really religious but I've got sucked into all sorts. 🙈

[Sciaticaisevil]

Give Citizens Advice a call, they should be able to advise you I believe, definitely worth a try! Hope you find a way out of your situation, routing for you x

[Jack2316]

Thankyou 🙏🏻

[GinnyE]

It's hard making the jump to support yourself, the only way to get a home of your own. But a job is what you need as a first step. I went on a six month re training scheme back in the distant past, when I couldn't get a job teaching. What about call centre type work, computer related, possibly working from home. The hotel industry used to have jobs that offered live in accommodation sometimes. But don't make yourself vulnerable to homelessness please... any roof is better than no roof (in most cases). I'd ask about training courses too. Skills you can acquire that other people will pay you to use. The reality of life, but a purpose to it. I wish you well.

[Jack2316 in reply to GinnyE]

Appreciate this comment. Hotel work is a great shout and will look into this.

I am waiting to turn 25 to try Trade plate driving. I have that as an option. Travel up and down the country and scout areas for myself. Just trying to open my eyes to much more and all these comments have given me ideas.

Thankyou for the kind words.

[MissMinto]

Hello Jack,

Have a look at The King’s Trust (formerly The Prince’s Trust) they offer all sorts of schemes to help young people up to the age of 30.

kingstrust.org.uk

I’m not sure what’s available in your area but they might help you to formulate the plan for your next move. I hope they can be of some help.

Also, does your GP surgery have what’s called a Social Prescriber? They can help with issues beyond health including housing etc.

And see if your council has a Welfare Rights Officer or if you can self-refer to an adult Social Worker. As others have said, most Job Centres also have access to a dedicated disability employment advisor who may be able to help.

If I could give you one word of advice it would be to not wait until one door closes before trying another. Bang on every door you can think of and keep banging - there is help out there but sometimes it’s not easy to find, you just have to keep at it.

Good luck with it all and don’t look back. Onwards and upwards! 🫶

[Jack2316 in reply to MissMinto]

Will look into all of this today. That is really good advice thank you.

[WilfDog]

Hi Jack

I'm sorry you are in this situation. After hearing about your passion for basketball, maybe you should look into starting a basketball club for youngsters in your area. Basketball has become a lot more popular these days, so I'm sure you would have a lot of responses. This would be a great accolade to have on your CV.

In terms of work, you could look into sports coaching courses at college or even apprenticeship type work within sports coaching.

I have been told the National Careers Service is also a good organisation with regard to help with work and where to start. The number is 0800 100 900.

If your dad can see that you are being proactive, which it sounds like you are, and trying to better yourself it may rub off on him. He clearly has many issues and needs help, which is hard to deal with day in day out, but maybe some contact with social services could help your dad to enable him to live a fulfilling life.

Well done for being proactive...loads of luck. 😊

[Tealblue2]

what about an interview with the job centre and applying for job seekers allowance. They advised me to apply to the dwp because of my illness which means they have temporarily categorised me as having limited capacity to work. It could buy you some time and some support in finding the right work for you

Also, I attended the nras zoom meeting last night about working with ra. It was amazingly helpful. I’ll link the government scheme they mentioned. They are worth a call, the are full of helpful knowledge

gov.uk/access-to-work

[Jack2316 in reply to Tealblue2]

Already done all that. Got put for limited capability for work but since then I don't have any appointments and I always ask questions in the journal but no one speaks. I think my work coach got reassigned.

But am currently working to get an appointment to really address everything and understand what I can do.

[Popinjay]

I would advise you to contact your Adult social care and refer yourself for support they will allocate you a social worker Maybe if you cannot afford a place of your own they may have an HMO (home of multiple occupation ) you can access this will give you some independence back,they may even help you getting access to the Job centre. Also if your dad doesn't have a SW then he can be allocated a separate one too you don't say if he is over 65 but he can be supported by the over 65's team and maybe improve his life too. It is usually started by a simple phone call if you go online for gov.uk you should be able to find the local number

Good luck

[greynot]

I'm sure you'll make great progress on moving your life on, Jack. You're asking all the right questions, and taking suggestions on board. And not just sitting there feeling sorry for yourself.Wishing you all the best. Please come back on here in a few months to tell us where you are then ( but come back here anytime, anyway...it's such a good place for suport)

[Jack2316 in reply to greynot]

Appreciate the kind words. I'm a very closed off person and this was sort of the first time I've been open to ask. It's definitely fulfilling the information I have received or the responses.

I do hope to come back in a few months with a positive update and hopefully it will show that things can go right for those who believe it can't.

I'm open to hear stories from other people aswell, how they dealt etc so if anyone is reading this response, feel free to drop a message.

[greynot]

And keep asking!

[Happy5]

Well done Jack for posting here to start with, it's a dreadful condition, even worse when your young and supposedly full of energy etc.

Lots have made good suggestions about getting skills be it further education (check what effects your benefits) or vocational skill especially one that could be used abroad? Warmer climes help all round. My son used agencies for his work IT skills till needed something permanent.

Definitely look into voluntary work as medway-lady said it's provides insight, and contacts, as well as feeling motivated. Maybe your dad could do some voluntary work too? Have you tried to make an appointment with your local Citizens Advice , they can help with housing, financial,employment information, even what your rights are working with disabilities.

Lastly if you move to a different area check out what the RA dept is like in that Hospital Trust/Authority, ensure they're a supportive on the ball team?

Let us know how you get on, all the best.

[jackNruby2]

I really feel for you Jack, have you tried the Citizens Advice Bureaux. Could your GP help I am not sure how council housing works now but at one time you could extra points on medical grounds Good Luck xx

[Jack2316 in reply to jackNruby2]

Been doing some research and looking into it. I have a health passport which apparently is very crucial and pivotal in helping me get the support I need. So just doing more and more research whilst I wait for appointments.

Thank you 🙏🏻

[Vivienham]

I've got nothing to add to the very helpful and useful suggestions you've been given. I just wanted to say how well you write - you're obviously articulate and this will help you in many ways. Good luck, you certainly deserve it.

[Jack2316 in reply to Vivienham]

Appreciate you taking your time to read it. Thank you, I actually failed englished literature at school and I took that personally, I always loved to write everything down if I have any thoughts or issues.

Thank you for the kind words 🙏🏻

I have been rescheduled with another work coach so I'm just waiting for that, doing write ups of things to bring up and concerns etc. Will post an update if things change.