Damage showing in week 11 !!

Yes, I entered week 11 with a lump on the head.... Did I bump it in my over boiling weeks of new found serenity, energy and freedom or is the life long addiction's damage starting to to emerge like boils from deep inside ? Well it was unsuspected and unexpected.

I was never suspicious that there could be so much anger..... from this demon that was in control of my live....being released so suddenly and fierce when pushed aside and out of my live...

The unexpected part is that it took me down, to a abrupt standstill, weakening my body by filling it with aches and pains trying to weaken me out.

BUT... he never had such a difficult and stubborn opponent and I will not give in, will not defend but attack because the reward was in my hand already and will not be taken away. I will fight to retain it. I am so grateful that this.... (second withdrawal ? ?).... comes with no craving for a cigarette and or thought that it will ease the pain.

Totally flat now and thought I am overdoing it again by walking the clearing of a new fence line with the GPS and plotting it on Google, found it to be 9.3 km. I am totally depleted of all energy at this stage but believe as the days go on I will regain that full blown energy and again start planning to take over the world (LOL)

4 Replies

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  • Good greif Hercu, what the heck is it? Sounds like it came out of the blue. I do hope that it disappears as quickly as it appeared and you get back to yourself in record time. Take care.

  • Oh Hercu – a lump on the head, in addition to all this other garbage going on!! Hopefully it wasn't caused by emerging boils from within, because that just makes me shutter at the thought :eek:

    Maybe your wife just whacked you a good one because you were snoring!!!;) but on the bright side, 9+ km is quite a walk, I know people that couldn't manage that on a good day!!

    Just give yourself sometime to rest a bit and get stronger, definitely keep pushing - but not too hard - because the world is waiting for you take over lol.....

  • Canwes and Que

    Thank you for taking part in in this "something" out of the blue.... Yup maybe it is the wife or maybe I dived in on the shallow side :confused:

    Had a difficult night and fairly drained this morning and wont be plotting new fence lines (That can wait till Monday) Was really flat after yesterdays venture although in my profession as GM on a banana farm on an average day visiting all the production units with the unit managers I easily walk 5 km + per day

    I will get through this and be me + again......Just need a little re-planning and see if I should attack from a different angle or head on ?

    For one thing is sure .... I will not smoke to get to the other side but rather struggle through this mud and clean myself when I have reached my goal ....smoke free wonderland !!.:) (And then I might plan for the take over ) lol

    Thanks again for support and interest in this struggle and that is why I will get through this: I have got the support of the Masters ....;)

  • Masters not, just young grasshoppers still learning :) But I do know life is not always predictable and we constantly have to change course when ever the wind changes. What ever your plan is Hercu, I know you'll adjust appropriately and will realize your goal – besides, mud is easy to clean up, smoking damage- well that's another story....

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