Started again after 9 years, struggling to stop again, advice and help requested

I smoked for 19 years then stopped in 2006 using Allen Carr's EASYWAY. Stupidly had some puffs last Summer and started again now I'm struggling to stop again. I've read the book a few times now and know what to do, bought the DVD as well and watched it in one go and then went on holiday with my 7 year old last week and was fine, didn't smoke or think about smoking but on the way home I knew I'd smoke so stopped and bought a pack. One thing to note is I have kept my smoking a secret, only one of my mates knows I smoke now.

My problem seems to be this, when I know I can't smoke I am fine, no real when out with friends or at home with my daughter (I live alone and she's with me a few nights a week). But as soon as I'm alone and my subconscious seems to will me to smoke even though I don't really want to.

I'm obviously missing something and am hoping you guys have some hints and tips to help me through this. I'm having a hard time understanding why I can't stop myself during alone time.

Thanks in advance


7 Replies

  • Hi Karri and thanks for replying.

    You may be right about the boredom, its hard to say, its like I know I can smoke when no-one knows and so I can 'get away with it' so I'll need to try and be mindful.

  • Ally, this keeping it to yourself will become harder and harder, nothing you can do about it. You'll get short tempered seemingly for no good reason, your daughter will notice and wonder what she may have done wrong to upset you, it's simply not worth it. You've quit for a long time before so just start quitting again and come here when you need to vent or need support, we'll be here. You can and should do this and you know that's the truth. Good luck.

  • Hi Canwes, you're right and I feel that, I need to into the right headspace again, I have done i before and can do it again but, as you probably know, its a strong craving, I just need to maybe do some press ups or talk to a mate on the phone when alone or when my daughter is sleeping....thanks for your input

  • kaosillator! What an awesome name! A Kaos pad lover i presume?

    Boredom sounds like a possible answer. Im a little confused though - are you smoking now or are you quit?

  • Hey Sami, thanks, yeah I have the first Kaosillator, love it. I'm not convinced boredom is the thing, its like when I know I can smoke, my cravings come along hard, if I know I can't or don't want to when in a situation like at work or with other people, I'm fine...still smoking just now but planning to give it a good shot next week.

  • Hi ally :)

    I struggled the most when by myself, too. For me it wasn't boredom but something very close to it - it was routine. I was just USED to lighting up whenever I was on my own, like after leaving work, after daughter had gone upstairs after dinner, on my way to the shop, whatever.

    I think secret smoking makes it harder, actually, because you get used to 'having' to have a smoke at every opportunity in case another chance doesn't come along for a while, if you see what I mean.

    The only way I found I could beat it was to totally change routine - I stopped sitting in the kitchen after work, and instead curled up on the sofa or jumped straight in the bath, visited my mum more often, and started running, changed my housework ethic (ie, started to DO some! ;) ) I swapped facebook for this forum, and that made the biggest difference, because it really helped keep me focussed, mindful if you like, and that helped with the change of pace and routine big time. Like, instead of wasting a couple of hours playing candy crush and scrabble, I made a few posts on here, read a whole heap more, and then had to go away and find something else to do while I waited for responses :P (life is slower here, and I like that!)

    I think I've rambled...good luck! x

  • I was forced to give up, It was Life or another ciggie, I chose Life!

    Two weeks after I had that near fatal heart attack I was walking around the town centre and passed a guy who was what smelt like a heavy smoker, I thought, I once caused a smell like that, EEEUK! Fresh air is FREE, Ciggies now cost a bloody fortune

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