the trials and tribulations of month 3

Tomorrow will be the end of month 3 for me and i will say it has definitely been the most difficult and therefore perhaps rewarding month for me...

I sailed quite confidently through the first month with feelings of great power and motivation...i felt on top of my game...even beach camped (which involves lots of wine and tequila..) with my smoking girlfriends..not a drama.....during the 2nd month i started to get those feelings of loss, grief, something missing and also noticing the 5 kilos id gained..socialising was becoming harder now and then at the end of month 2, the dreams started....

I struggled through the begining of month 3 feeling that life just wasnt so good, my marriage not so good, mylife without cigs was just plain boring.....the dreams totally threw me because i would be so happy in my dream because i was smoking and then i would wake up and be so sad that it was all a dream and i had to face up to my smoking free life now....

Im not sure what really made the difference, but as i end month three i now feel very positive about the continuation into month 4.....I only found this site a few weeks ago and you have all given me such a gr8 insight into your worlds and i no longer feel alone in my struggles and achievements...reading some of the posts has given me encouragement to go on with this and even made me feel special and helpful in some of the replies i have had..thank you, thank you, thank you.!!!...

..I have also this month been doing extensive reading into neuropsychophysiology ie the chemical brain reactions to stopping sounds boring but i love it and i think its helped me understand deeper stuff and then i love sharing that with others to help them too...

and finally ,i also started taking a herbal supplement called "nurobalance" about a week ago....this was my own experiment based on what i understood about chemical changes with neurotransmitters after we have stopped smoking...the herbal contains plant extracts that help promote happy chemicals in our brains.....i feel like they are helping because i am definately smiling more, feel way less sad in general and feel more motivated, and sleep better....but difficult to know if its psychsomatic as i can be a bit suggestable...??

I would by no means suggest i am going into month 4 confidently, but mearly, optimistically, with motivation rather than sadness...i still continually think about smoking in alot of smoking conditioning is still sharp...the connections, the memories etc...but they do feel a little softer now at the moment anyway.....i thought hynotherapy might help with that problem but cancelled my appt today as quite costly and i feel stronger now than when i made the appointment?..although i am still very short of patience, i do get annoyed easily and put up with very little, where i had always been quite laid back and chilled out...i hope in month 4 this will dissipate....i want to have a personality that i like again and im not there


16 Replies

  • Melli, I for one am glad you found this forum and truly enjoy your 'boring' posts. Who cares how long they are (we're here to read btw) so long as they are relevant and your posts certainly are that. Actually the length of your posts probably helps many get through their entire 'crave' time in a single post. lol

    I'm a fan of the brain info you share and frankly I'm glad you cancelled the hypnotherapy. As you yourself has said the understanding of what is going on is enough to help you power through these urges even months later so keep reading, posting and most importantly keep the 'quit'.

  • Thanks Canwes....that made me laugh about getting through a whole crave..thank you..;)

  • Hi Melli

    I agree with Canwes don't stop the "boring, long posts" I too have got through a whole craving before, they are anything but boring, and it really is interesting to know why we feel like we feel, what makes us tick so to speak ( or Nic actually). I too really miss smoking, that's not right but that's how we feel, I know some people say they don't , but as a long term prior smoker I admit it's something that is hard to let go of, it's not fair but there's no point in avoiding how I really feel. As some people say it's like letting go of a long time friend, anyway sometimes we need to let go of long time boring things do here we are

  • Thanks.. its reassuring to know im not blabbering to yhin air.. lol ...just thinking of my super prize for leaving month 3 behind... I have saved $1600 to date gor not smoking and have so far spent around $500 in prizes so im well ahead...... xx

  • Hi Melli

    Is nurobalance the same as Neurobalance ? I have googled it and it comes up with both and I was just wondering if it's the same thing .

  • hi Jilli...No its Nurobalance made by Bioceuticals...its quite a potent remedy containing, Combination of saffron, St John’s wort, rhodiola and mimosa provides well-rounded mood support, enebling releaseof Dopamine and seratonin in our brains...our happy chemicals!!! I am very impressed (and not generally one of those herbal chicks )..i feel great again for the first time ever in a quit this long...all previous times i have decided to smoke agin at some point between 3 and 8 months due to not being able to bare the constant misery of grief like and deprivation feelings....but in this last 10 days i am transformed and am amazed....if its not available in Uk im sure the pharmasist can track something was actually my local pharmacist who found it for me and said he had heard some good results....x

    Read more:

    Follow us: @BioCeuticals on Twitter | BioCeuticals on Facebook

  • Hi Melli

    The chemists I have been to have never heard of it soooo, I'll keep trying :9)

  • Are you in the UK? perhaps online easier...??

  • Nope, as I've said in another post, not boring and please carry on. Opposite to you, I found the second two months quite exciting. I was a recognised quitter, people, including smoker friends valued the effort I was putting in, but now it's sinking, I'm sinking. You have given some information in other posts that is truly valuable. i'll make a post soon, and it will be about struggles. Ridiculous, but what you are saying gives a very different insight for me as I am sure that I have some sort of chemical imbalance - you might not be saying that Melli; it's what I'm taking from the information you have posted.

    Why on earth, virtually 4 months in would i want to smoke again. The champix is out of my system and I'm sure this deterioration in my resolve relates to that. I don't want all the rubbish things that go along with being a smoker, but I'm feeling this far in that I could go back there. I know I'm not the only one. There are a good few people, work and friends who get to this time, and they collapse, smoking-wise. 3-4 months! And we know!

    anyway, I digress. Keep posting. Pleased you're around.

  • Hi Walkabout......look, the Champix definately throws a spanner in the regular chemical works...i understand how it works but have never used it myself, (having seen a couple of quite scarey results of the side effects..)but basically because champix binds onto the nicotine receptors and STOPS the natural surge of Dopamine, it therefor stops the pleasure connection from smoking.whilst you are smoking..not sure what its doing once you stop smoking other than making you a bit flat??...(phah!!! the brain cant be fooled that easily when you have been smoking for 30 plus years, it has those things called deep subconscious memories, hence why it is relitavely ineffective for some people..)...what really gets me is that if your Dopamine surge is switched OFF by Champix, then your mood and happy vibes all go down the pan too, so by default Champix would if you were the susceptable sort make you "flat" or a little low in mood if not depressed by default

    (perhaps possibly why it is so contra indicated in people with depression or personality disorders etc)...........and it would be much harder to take up new hobbies that cause happy surges because your channels are blocked so to speak...

    anyway i digress too, but can i just ask you, when did you start the champix and when you stop the fags and when did u stop the champix (and dates of anti depessants too)...if you can give me the dates i can try to map the chemical track a bit..

    got to go but speak soon, x

  • Melli.... Thanks for making this stuff clear for me (us.)

    I really appreciate all the explanations around Champix and only now could understand why I am feeling the way I felt over the past 4 weeks using Champix.

    It worked for me and could stop smoking after 24 days on Champix. ( On day 3 I reduced from 40 to 7 cigarettes a day after 38 years non stop)

    Yesterday was day 14 totally clean but that "FLAT" feeling is very strong and then you nailed it.....My happy vibes is switched off.

    I do not use any anti depressant at this stage and would like to carry on without it.

    (The herball supplement sounds good though)

    My Question is: will the brain ever overcome "the spanner in the chemical works" and operate normal again without taking supplements????Will it release Dopamine without smoking??????

    ( I am and was a non alcohol drinker my whole life so far)

    I am in that very fortunate position to be able to enjoy the outdoor by beach camping, fishing, Kayaking, quad biking, 4x4 trails etc..etc but I am to damm flat to lift my ass....

    I love woodwork and creating something but just don't have the guts to get started......

    I Just want to be me again.......... (Without the smell and the cloud of smoke):D

  • Yes yes yes.....i definately believe so for around 99% of us....

    when we smoke tobacco products we naturally create more and more receptors for the nicotine, (brain scans clearly show this ..) and when we stop smoking and do not take any nicotine or champix, then after a few weeks all those receptors start to reduce until they are down to the original amount...we always secrete a small trickle of happy chemicals and dopamine is what keeps us driving for what makes us happy, keeps us yearning for things and seeking pleasure and when we achieve the pleasure, we produce more dopamine...

    its basically a win win for you if you can find and do things you really enjoy...if you can keep lots of happy chemicals flowing, then when your deeper memory trickery takes place as it inveriably does you are better armed to tackle the smoking thoughts as apposed to when you feel flat....

    i imagine if you can get hooked on something relatively healthy like exercise, sports , cooking fabulous food or anything creative, then you will switch on all your neurotransmitters and the more positive smoke free memories you can make where 1. you enjoyed yourself without a ciggy and 2. you coped with a shitty situation without a smoke...those memories will start to override the old ones and the receptors will eventually stop trying to use the old memories in your the end of the day...there is no evil monster...its just chemicals and psychology, and knowledge has given me power to manipulate my mind..

    the herbal supplement is to give my neurotransmitters a boost only...i knew it wasnt depression, it was just flattness of life even though i have a gr8 life, and either the herbal tablets have worked or i am very

    when i walked out of the mall today and smelt someones was the first time ever that i just naturally thought...yuk, that smells awful...thats massive for me as even into my 4th month the smell brought pleasure to my brain and that caused momentary that didnt happen and i believe i changed that....:)

  • Guys,


    I know people are mentally so disturbed , and specially here haha But everyone here is doing great job and is distinguished in his thinking patterns.

    But let me tell you Some thing amazing .... Solution to all problems of you guys, and things which are still boosting me on my first day to my 1000th day

    I had gone 365 days but unsuccessful. Why did i smoke back, i feel so bad about it that i would be rather in my 600s now.. YES that motivation .....

    Motivation is the thing that always act as law of attraction. To make long facts short and interesting.....

    Don't take my story negatively , I smoked again just because of bad company, abusive gathering (lolz) . That pushed me back to the life of nicotine ,drugs, bla, bla.

    I must say ..... There was something very interesting in my life after 365 days of quiting that i wanted to share. Yes it is reason that makes me want to quit again..

    Quit Day and so on

    reason 1 :- I was so happy , Energetic ,feeling of freedom just after 14 days ... If you want to feel earlier then it is also possible.

    reason 2 :- I started to become physically active. Concentration become better . Again feeling of achievement run over your whole body. till the end of 3rd month.

    reason 3:- negative thoughts introduced, If not busy would probably think that my memory had weekened or bla bla bla and much more bla.

    reason 4:- negative thoughts slowed down sometime and sometime paced up. Now feeling of uselessness i hope u understand this. (5 and 6th month).

    Actually i would cope up these all psychological and psychical problems when introduced till the end of year with different methods.

    In the END OF YEAR I made it and celebrated , had not drinked but throwed alot of fun parties , everyone was smoking and i was not . I was feeling like the king of party ... (secretively).

    after that day my life seemed to me very satisfying ;) .

    I was happy tension free, intelligent , smart ,talkative , Good looking ,more confident till next 6 months and then i thought to light a Cig willfully after my college result day.. But Sad now time changed again.

    All i learned from my experience and a true jewel for you guys is that never look upon changes in your self as it make everything difficult. Don't observe yourself day by day even you are getting well.

    It will be much easier to spend a whole year without looking back and judging yourself, Its better that to say F^^^ when you crave and say ain't iam easy for this sh8t.

    If i stopped then stopped no more looking back , no more company, Iam not controlled by my brain. Iam the one who controls this stupid brain. Induce hatred against this shit as every day pass. Do enough opposition to this stuff that your upcoming newborns even hate it and this is what will motivate you for whole life.. .


    exsmoker = Normal person after 1 year , But normal person is abstained from feeling of cigshit for whole life and you will live with very very little feelings toward it...

    So if you want to go for marathon then prepare yourself mentally,emotionally, And physically.

    GOOD LUCK :p


  • Hi Melli.....I took champix for 5 weeks before I eventually, and it felt quite natural, to not smoke. My first non smoke day was 6 March. I had been taking the venlafaxine since mid-January after changing from sertraline, which did not make a difference at all. With the venlafaxine (V) there was a virtual overnight change, which surprised me. So I have been taking V since I started the champix and through to cessation of the latter. I cut my champix does in half the last three weeks and haven't taken it at all for just over 3 weeks. Two weeks into that 3 weeks I started to wobble with my attitude and confidence with not smoking, and it has been like that since. Friday and yesterday however, when I was away from home staying with my mother I was fine, really fine. Not feeling an urge, not desiring to drive to the nearest cig outlet. So there is a psychological aspect to this, because I was staying at my parent's home where my father collapsed 6 months ago due to a condition with definite correlation to his still smoking.

    Today I'm back home in London, and I feel the urges again. I just think I have to ride them out.

  • Hi Walkabout.....yes the psychological aspect is very fascinating and it i guess is our biggest challenge because in general we are so unaware of those deeper roots.....but i guess for me the solution lies in simplifying things so that i can not only understand then but also change the course of direction...but you sound like you do have some pretty close self awareness.....

    I believe Psychology can be as complex or simple as you make it.......i prefer simple... remember Pavlov's dog....?

    the most simple of psychological experiments....

    Pavlov rings a bell, then gives the dog food.........after a few repetitions the dog starts to salivate at the ring of the bell....this is conditioning....this is a huge aspect of both addiction and smoking...

    dont know if this was ever tested but i imagine dopamine was released for the dog when he salavited or got fed or even when the bell rang....but if the dog then didnt hear the bell for 5 years would it still have the same conditioning response 5 yrs later....i bet it would..

    so here is our next problem, we have to change our conditioning or reprogram ourselves...this is why i had planned to go to hypnotherapy....but i havent gone yet and i am into my 4th quit month now...i havent gone because im logging my feelings and thoughts and am finding those deeper conditioning's are not popping up hardly at all now (due to the natural remedy happy pills?? i think??)

    what anecdotally strengthens my belief on this is the fact that despite being a life long chronic smoker, there are a couple of situations in which i have no conditioning to cigs, no connection, noo addiction or whatever and previously this made little sense to me, infact it worked against me because it gave me a false sense of security feeling that perhaps i really "chose " to smoke...or not....

    For example, i have no connection between smoking and a skiing holiday, why??? because everytime in January that i went skiing, i had just given up the fags for new year, so have never smoked on a ski hol, hence now i have conditioning of happiness, laughter and fun for up to two weeks with no thoughts of cigs...also some of my most stressful and upsetting times have been at work in critical care or involving my kids, whom i never smoked in front of when they were little....i have endured hours of stress and upset and not smoked in those hours...later, yes but i had already dealt with the crux of it....

    Many years ago in one of my quit attempts when i had recognised this conditioning aspect...i tried to remove all the things that had the strongest associations for of those things were watching the soaps...(i used to live in UK) baby to bed...coronation street cup of tea and a fag......i stopped watching the soaps when i stopped smoking to help me, i started smoking a few months later but never watched the soaps again...i had grown to dislike them..even now when i hear that music for coronation street it just makes me think of an awful smokey room with my nan puffing away when i was a

    as waffelling on and

    the more positive non smoking activities and situations we can bring into our lives and repeat and repeat those conditions it should help recondition us a bit...perhaps...

    what dose of V are you on?? its a good drug and should also help keep you of the cigs, sometimes the gp may need to tweek your dosage especially as the champix is now out of your system...

    Whilst ever we can remain motivated then we will succeed...

  • Thanks Melli. Good as ever. I'm on.....meant to be on.........75mg bd, but I halved the afternoon does recently as well as bringing that dose forward to lunch time , but before the champix was out of my system because I wanted to sleep for hours. Once I got going, ie, to work I was fine. Now I'm waking fine but the champix is gone, dropped the V by 25%, and my mood is down and the smoking urge is up! I'm due for a review from my GP in about 3 weeks, so I might have to put the V dose back up again.

    Soaps for me are not good. I used to like Corrie when it was funny and had character in it rather than drama. I know that impression of smokie rooms from childhood, and my on homes at one time, but not for years. Even as a smoker I couldn't stay in them.

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