Feel like I am losing whats left of my sanity

I really want to post something more positive but this last week has been pure hell :(, bad enough that I didnt go to work and on friday went to my Doctor to ask for some help. Every morning after disrupted sleep all night I was sobbing almost uncontrollably I just couldnt get it together. The whole week I have been anxious which has left me exhausted and even more tearful........The Doc gave me some sleeping tablets which gave me 8 lovely hours sleep on friday night, last night I got about 6 hours uninterrupted. Tonight I am not allowed sleeping tablet (Doctos orders) soo fingers crossed I will sleep ok. Anyway I am signed off work for another week and i am hoping to get it together.

My Doctor gave me the stop smoking number for my area and said they would be able to help me............Quite excited I phoned them to be told that I cant get any help because I have already stopped smoking........I cannot believe it :(

17 Replies

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  • Wendy, so sorry your having such a hard go of it, all the more reason to never want to go through this a second time. Hang tough if you can, come here for venting and support, screw the # you were given by your doctor, that's awful for them not to want to help because you've alrerady quit, ridiculous! Your here now so that's a great start, come often, read through past posts and continue to post how your feeling, that always burns up a few minutes that may get you to the other side of a crave. Also check this out whyquit.com/ when you need some inspiration. Stay strong.

  • Thanks Canwes, I have struggled since I started on my ittle giving up road trip lol.......off ciggies and on to e cigs on 7th feb and off e cigs on to cold turkey on april 15th. I have been so damn ill with it but keep fighting. i only wish i had written a diary because it is nothing like i ever expected. This Doctor was lovely and assumed that the stop smoking thngy would help bless him. I will no doubt tell him about the fact that they dont actually give a flying crap about people that have tried on their own.

    I really dont want to smoke again because if i do i can promise i will never try to give up again.........Its been a long tough road and i am hoping my sat nav will sooner rather than later tell me i have reached my destination

  • Wendy here's another great link that burns up lots of time and reinforces that what you have chosen to do is absolutely the best thing for you and your body. youtube.com/user/joelspitz

  • Thanks again........crazy how coming on here kinda helps. I will take a look

  • Wendy, I wish you well here. I know it is so hard and especially if giving up something to improve wellbeing actually seems to make things worse. In the long term that cannot be. It had to be beneficial to us that we are not smoking. Keep in there and post/ read here regularly.

  • Oh Wendy Wendy Wendy, can't believe that they actually regected you that's horrible for someone in our situation, I would have thought that they would have been more than willing because you actually have gone through the hardest time.

    You have come to the best forum that can be found, there are a lot

    of people doing the same thing as you at various stages, a lot of supportive non smokers in this site, please post and read often, vent as much as you want, kick and scream if you have to there is always someone to listen to you, keep us posted on how your feeling tomorrow. Cheering for you Wendy

  • Hi Wendy....i really feel for you...you are describing just how i felt a couple of weeks ago..(i stopped cold turkey on 30th march this yr)...its so horrid it makes you so confused about why you have stopped just to go through this hell....and yes the diary thing is gr8..i have been through this several times now and realised for me knowledge and understanding is the key....so now always keep a log and started researching and finding stuff to counter attack each part of the process.....it is such an amazingly difficult thing to successfully give up smoking after a lifetime and i hope you are so very proud at your achievement so far...are you rewarding yourself, sufficiently...your brain really secretes more happy chemicals in response to regular little pleasures , rewards, feelings of success...have you taken up anything to replace your smoking hobby? i find having something else to fixate on helps to fill the emptiness a little.....you can start that diary now..it will still help immensely and then you can help others too...keep strong and give yourself a big big smile...you are more strong clever and determined than you ever realised...xx

  • Oh no! How awful that you are still suffering so much when you have done so well to get so far!

    Lack of sleep is awful and makes you feel rubbish in just about everyway doesn't it! Have you tried other natural aids? My husband has issues with insomnia and has had some success with things like orvaltine, excercise, essential oils etc. I can't remember all of them but google will probably have ideas...?

    The quit smoking services are awful for things like that. I once tried to quit on a saturday (rather than at work) and was told I couldn't have help unless i started on a monday! its ridiculous!!! You don't need them, you can do it! look how far you've already come without them! And you've got everyone on here to support you.

    Sending hugs!

  • Wow Thank you so much everyone it's great to have you all rooting for me.........My partner gave up at the same time and annoyingly hasn't had any issues and even more annoyingly doesn't quite understand my constant melt downs.

    Broken sleep again last night which meant another melt down this morning, The other half is off work for a couple of days so he drove us and our dog into the Peaks for a walk and cup of tea which was nice.

    I seem to have a constant adrenalin Rush.....not quite rush but a constant trickle which is yuk for trying to relax and making sleep practically impossible.

    Smoking services are rubbish it seems, my daughter has been busy trying to find me some local help which I will follow up.

    I am trying Boots sleepeaze tablet tonight to see if it will help me sleep better because it should help tomorrow's mood. I will let you know how it goes.

    Thanks so much again everyone it really is amazing to have your back up x

  • Hi Wendy...this will make you smile...My younger, smarter, and healthier partner stopped smoking on the same day as me also (30th March this yr) and like ur partner he has had no issues to report, in fact the bugger is happy as larry, full of beans and seems to have no idea what all the fuss is about..(Weirdo!!)...well actualy he does have a problem he informed me (lol) that i keep making him think of smoking because i have all this literature and research, diaries and conversation about smoking and if i didnt have such an obsession with my desire to understand everything, he wouldnt have to think of it...he is hoping i will just wake up one morning and be transformed back into my happy carefree, chilled self with no memory or connection with smoking....think he had better book me in for a lobeotomy or ECT..!!Lol

    hey and wendy, ive started taking a herbal over the counter called NuroBalance, its a happy enhancer..(mood lifter as the like to call it) and i feel so much less miserable and sleep much better. Ive been taking it for a week now and hubby says he can def see a difference but is trying to tell me its all in my mind as im easily influenced...lol, i actually care not if its the meds or my own mind, but i do feel better..this remedy contains plant extracts that are known to enhance the release of your pleasure transmitters, so they cant be taken with some other medications....just another idea..:)

    Keep strong, keep smiling.x

  • Hi everyone, I sort of fell off the face of the earth trying to get my head around everything...........No I haven't smoked hehe :). I haven't been at work because I really couldn't face it and luckily we have managed without my wage. The depression I had has lifted and tho it hasn't completely gone yet the anxiety has definitely subsided a lot. Still got awful indigestion but hey who cares.

    The Boots Sleepeaze tablets I tried were really helpful tho I did take two rather than one.........my daughter who suffers badly from insomnia told me take two. I don't need any tablets to help me sleep now tho I don't quite get the 8 hours I need.

    Feeling quite a lot better, still get the urge for a ciggy.........I think it's an urge for a ciggy but could be needing something to do so I crack open the Wrigleys Airwaves chewing gum lol

  • Wendy , Wendy, Wendy - Love that name, reminds me of Peter Pan:) and it's also my sisters name. Anyway I'm so happy your sleeping again!! – there is nothing like a good night sleep to make you feel good about yourself and fuel your body forward in a positive way!!!

    and no worries that you have been gone a while - I fell off the face of the earth a month ago just because - well, no reason required - right!! but here we are, holding our own and rocking this quit!! We can do this – no, wait a minute - I mean we will do this, because its our choice to do it!!

    Here's to Wrigleys as well, they definitely have punched a few urges in the nose already and glad it works for you too!! Been thinking though, they could probably go platinum if they were to make a nice wine flavored gum for me and huge bonus,if they would do a Gin flavor for my chums Hattie and Incy:-))

  • Hi Que, Yep Wendy is a great name lol, not too many of us round either :)

    Sleeping again is soooooooooo good. Started these last two nights waking up in the night with a headache?

    I couldnt face being on here when i was really going through it. I pretty much curled up in a ball, not really for missing ciggies but for feeling so damn poorly.

    Unfortunately I dont like Alcohol.....not for not trying to find some lol........Just my airwaves has had to see me through.

    We will do this because the government and tobacco industry is having no more ciggarette money from us.

    Our lungs will love us again too :)

  • Hi Wendy, I hope you're feeling better. I've started taking L-Theanine, supposedly raises dopamine levels, aids sleep, without drowsiness. Loads of articles online about it.

    May help? Take Care x

  • Hi Elizabeth, bit of an anxious day today but so much better than i was a couple of weeks ago thank you :)

    Funnily enough I have been reading up on L-Tyrosine and ordered some, its supposed to help lift mood etc etc. i will try it and let you know how it goes. Just a bit of help to get back to feeling normal......as normal as I have ever been lol x

  • Glad to hear your anxiety is subsiding Wendy :)

  • Hi Sami, Yes over the last few weeks it has subsided. Ive never suffered with anxiety before so it came as quite a shock, lets hope it completely goes :/

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