Hello everyone - why am I hijacking my own quit?

Day 2 of my quit. I have used an e-cig and, I'll be honest, I have had 1 puff of an old butt I found yesterday, and the same today. Why?? I have no clue. Have I still quit???? I have to stop - I have COPD. I want to stop - I DETEST everything about smoking. Why am I hijacking myself by having those 2 puffs? I've got rid of everything smoking related (or I thought I had until I got resourceful and remembered an old ashtray) - not proud atall of that I can tell you.

Has anyone else done this - do you understand - how can I just accept the complete quit? Why am I hijacking myself - or even am I hijacking myself. Or are these little blips that still mean I'm doing well and am in the process of quitting????

Please help me understand!

12 Replies

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  • Hi Kath....well done love...thats 2 days worth of cigs u didnt smoke, ( put the 2 puffs aside...dont beat urself up over it..)

    this may help you understand ....in basic terms..

    when you smoke a ciggy, the nicotine rushes into your brain and searches for a receptor that it can attatch to....

    the nicotine can only attatch to one type of receptor...(the more and longer we smoke, our brain creates more receptors for the nicotine..)

    when the nicotine locks onto a receptor, this is like a key in a lock and opens the door for Dopamine release..

    Dopamine is a neurotransmitter, a chemical that helps control the brains pleasure and reward centres...dopamine is our brains "happy chemical"....

    so when we smoke a ciggy its not the cig or the nicotine, but actually the release of dopamine, (our happy stuff), that makes us feel good..

    some research i have read says that this happy feeling can last an hr or two and what we do in that time, our deep subconscious mind will associate with ciggies, (because its clever!!) and knows if we smoke a cig, we will get the dopamine release.

    The problem lies here in......dopamine is a chemical for pleasure and reward...it is able to trick you into rewarding it...you know you will feel comfort or pleasure from a cig because u are enabling dopamine to release....but you have created soooo many receptors that your brain over the many years (if you are a long term smoker)and ur brain wants lots more nicotine to attach....and thats where we give in, become desperate, become aggitated upset etc....

    the key i guess is finding a replacement for your happy...something else that excites your chemicals, hormones and neurotransmitters...

    Laughter in itself causes dopamine release,(i guess you could have someone tickle you 20 times a day..lol, ive not tried that one, but no doubt i will..) but there are many other things, chocolate, sugars, caffine , exciting activities, computor games if you are that way inclined...Exercise is a big one, although its not directly releasing dopamine, it releases other feel good chemicals....

    sorry Kath i tried to keep it brief, but as usual it looks a bit waffly...

    anyway, hope that helps to explain why you took those few puffs....go buy some sweets or choc you love and hide them around the house......try to trick your brain into getting a sweet reward for not smoking.....

    keep going with it..all the best, Mel x

  • Melli, wow, what a great explanation of how we trick our brains/bodies into becoming dependant. Thank you. Sometimes just understanding make the battle a little easier.

  • Melli that is a big wow, on the explanation on how it works.

    Thank you

  • Hi Kath, keep going and fighting as much as you can, there really is no logical explanation as to why we do what we do, keep us updated on your thoughts and feelings and just know we are all doing this together, I read that thousands of people have COPD just they don't know it as they have never been tested, so you are definitely not alone xx

  • Thank you all so much - another day, another chance to get it right! I'm off to spend the weekend with friends this afternoon, and I've told them I;ve quit, and they don't smoke, so there'll be no hidden butts anywhere. To be honest, I'm looking forward to being completely forced to not cheat for 2 days - here's hoping!!

  • Hi Kath

    Have an absolutely wonderful weekend, being around non Smokers will definitely help for this weekend, one day at a time is the key 😆

  • Hi Kath

    Be Strong.....

    I was also informed that I have COPD and must stop which I did but with the help of Champix.

    after 38 years I could not do it Cold Turkey !!!!!!

    After 24 days on Champix I totally quitt.... (My target was 30 days)

    It really worked for me in such a way that my half smoked packet of cigarettes with the lighter is still on top of the fridge.

    In the cupboard there is a carton with the remaining 7 packets of cigarettes.

    In my vehicle's door panel there is a packet and lighter.

    Found an open packet in my fishing tackle box yesterday and not once in 9 Days of total quitt I had a crave for a cigarette.

    I surely misses the feeling of smoking,reaching for my top pocket, sitting down relaxing, but there is no nicotine crave.

    Maybe it works like Melli describes: But now it is the Champix that tell the nicotine receptors another story. :rolleyes:

    Be strong Kath and you will get there.....

  • Thank you all for your hekp - why I'm still 'stealing' butts I have no clue. I know I'm making it sooooo much harder on myself - has anyone any ideas on why I do it? I'm fine (well, not fine, but it's doable) when I'm in anyone's company - but as soon a I get a moment alone (which is only occasionally), then I hunt out an ld pack I have, roll a fag, and smoke 3 puffs. I don't feel better for it, but I can't seem to resist the desire to go and sneak one - while I have the chance. t's getting me down now - I know it'll build up if I don;t quit altogether, and I feel so bad cos all my friends and family are so proud of me . . . . . . please help!!!

  • Kath, you'll need to get rid of the temptation. Throw out everything you have at hand that can be turned into a smoke. Everything, it's the only way. Your only stealing butts because your able to since they are close at hand. Your so right, if you don't stop this you'll be back smoking again in no time and that's really not what you want. You can do this, you should do this for yourself not others, you will overcome, I have faith in you. Stay strong.

  • Thanks Canwes - you;re so right - and thank you so much for your kindness. But, if I can only not smoke when there isn't temptation, how will I cope this weekend when my brother's coming to stay who smokes?? Surely I have to learn to not smoke even in the face of temptation? I'm not questioning your advice, just asking for a bit more clarity and help x

  • KathP, when your brother is here he needs to respect what you are doing and make sure he leaves you alone about this, goes outside or at least away from you when he's smoking and perhaps most importantly doesn;t leave his cigs or the butts around to tempt you. You will get stronger but it' may be a little early for you yet, eventually you'll start to willingly walk away from smokers because you won't like the smell. That will be a great day but for now, baby steps. One day at a time.

  • Hi KathP

    My husband still smokes and I found that challenging. I asked him to hide it from me as best he could, go outside around side of house quietly etc. I kept reading to strengthen my resolve about why I don't want to smoke and after a few months though he stopped being so sensitive(which does pee me off) I am not tempted to smoke with him. Feel sorry for him actually as the slavery is so obvious to me now. Good luck with your brother. IMO whether he knows it or not he likely doesn't enjoy smoking either he just has to x

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