Only just crossed the line!!!

Hi all

My no smoking App says 2 months 0 days so many hours etc so it seems I have entered this lovely new room. But only just, because the weekend was a massive nightmare. Went to London on a trip with heavy smoking OH and Lord did I get some BIG triggers. Camden killed me. It seemed OH just smoked constantly and in Camden so did everyone. I thought I'll just have a few because I don't feel like myself, it's who I am ..... You know all them crazy trigger thoughts that try to fool you that just one will be ok. Anyway my point is I didn't smoke yay!!!! And that feels good. I think I made it because a) my app showed me I was v close to crossing into month 3 and I thought I cant start again I'm doing great b) how would I then come here and say I blew it and c) NOPE they come in packs and I don't want to be a full time smoker was thankfully winning the argument in my head. I did enjoy London despite these tests but I worry that I seem to still get such raging battles in certain situations and that my quit is not strong enough. Thank you all for being part of how I passed this one.

10 Replies

  • Well done on not giving in. I've had these battles too, hard work aren't they. One minute you've convinced yourself you aren't yourself without a cig, next you remind yourself how far you've come. I am certain one day we shall be free of all thoughts of smoking till then we must battle on. These stronger urges are few and far between now as I'm sure they are for you too. Keep strong your doing great

  • AnnMarie how scary! Well done you for fighting it off,I'm so SO pleased and proud of you :)

    Thank goodness you kept your head - you're right, imagine having to start all over again now!

    So glad you said Nope! xxx

    PS Lucky you, having a trip away - I love a quick break in London (not as much as I love living in the country though!)

  • Oh, and get the kettle on early tomorrow, I'll be joining you in month 3 at 7am :D

  • Anne Marie - I have to thank you for your post above. Excellent. It sums up how I often feel, that cyclical thinking, triggered by a situation, all the stimulants/triggers, circumstances, having to work fast in thinking to not succumb. Yep been there frequently and still am being there. Camden Market is so cool. Lots of 'coolness' or me being 'cool' for a couple of hours (I'm not cool :cool:), lots of it doesn't matter, life is good. And you didn't bend to that. So good. Well done to you.

  • I totally agree. I used to live in Camden. You are only ALLOWED to live there if you smoke! I can relate as well to the thought that smoking is somehow part of your identity, crazy! I'm very impressed that you got through it, and wondering Anne Marie, how are you getting on with your other half smoking? I gave up a few times when I was with my partner - he would always be quite upset with me and say things to the effect that smoking was something we 'did together' (seems a bit mad now that I look at it).

    Anyway, hurray for you Anne Marie! Enjoy your new room ☺

  • Thank you Hattie x

    Erm the OH smoking is not great. On the one hand I see the slave aspect clearly as he smokes in response to everything, like full stops to every activity and that keeps me focused on my quit, don't want to be back there but I want to tell him how silly it is even though I know ( because I have told him too much really) that this causes problems. Then there's the other side where it is what we did together and I miss that 😞. He is verbally very encouraging but I do sense he misses that too. Just clinging to my own quit really and hoping if I do he will follow and we find new better things to do together x thanks for asking it helps to share. It has actually occurred to me that this smoking or not smoking thing probably causes a few relationship issues and they're not what you need when quitting are they!!!!

  • Hi AnnMarie, it probably does cause relationship problems, there is the inevitable irritability issues in the early stages of the quit too. Think you have done amazingly well to solidify your quit with a smoking partner. I lost some smoking buddies I thought were friends and realise actually all we had in common was going outside for a fag :(.

    Keep up the good work and NOPE all the way :) x

  • So odd how powerful smoking is and it's impact on every area of your life! No wonder it's so hard to stop 😂 I agree Caroline about friends that weren't really friends. Smoking draws you together against the rest of the disapproving world somehow. Ann Marie you are right you have to concentrate on quitting for now and things will be easier to handle once you are 'comfy' with it. Respect though - you have done so well ☺

  • Thanks everyone x who needs smoking buddies anyhow we got ex smoking friends 😃 forgot to say what helped me too was forcing myself to spot non smokers not smokers and I then realised there were many people not smoking like me and it seemed to help me relax and stop obsessing about missing out.

  • I like the description of having a smoke being the full stop to every activity. That describes it exactly. Get up, have a cig, leave the house, have a cig, get off the bus and walk to work........and on. And I'm not doing any of them! Does this mean my punctuation skills have deteriorated?

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