Well, Christmas Eve I went to work, then did a little bit of last minute shopping, spent the rest of the afternoon and evening preparing for Christmas and The Dinner, I cooked and carved the goose, made a stock from the giblets then made a gorgeous, velvety gravy etc, etc, etc. Had a quick supper, I was too fooded out to really want to eat then put my feet up for the rest of the evening anticipating a wonderful Christmas Day. It started off ok, I had a couple of lovely pressies from the MIL, then the OH opened his stack of carefully chosen, appropriate pressies while I opened two parcels, each containing an awful top, one which might have fitted when I was ten, the other I could see on a much older lady - Disappointed? I was gutted, the worst bit about it is that the OH usually manages to get it sooooo right, and to be honest I was really expecting something special this year as he's in work (until September he'd been in and out of work, usually out, for the last seven years) and is in a much happier place than he's been in an awfully long time. He went outside for a smoke and I went in the kitchen and sobbed, the cat followed me out and sat there meowing her head off, I thought she was asking for food so I shouted at her for being a selfish moo, but she sat there and did that Prrrrrp noise whilst slow blinking at me, so I picked her up and she cuddled in purring loudly and rubbing her head on my chin and neck. Suddenly it hit me what a selfish, materialistic madam I was being, I have a lovely home, my OH, my animals, my parents, my family ,some wonderful friends and a good job - what on earth was I getting upset about? I dried my eyes, pulled my shoulders back, apologised to the OH for being cow then got on with enjoying the day - we went to my parents yesterday and did Christmas day all over again, I had a marvellous time and only seriously thought about cigs once, and that was when my brother was talking about maybe buying an e-cig and cutting down on the fags, but I didn't want one at all, even when I was feeling really sorry for myself I didn't want a cigarette - just nicer pressies :cool:
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