My first 24 hours... feeling weird

Hi everyone,

My names Simon I'm 25.

My last cigarette was almost 24 hours ago now and i feel pretty strong, regardless of it being early days yet, though I expect to be thoroughly tested lol. My motivation to quit was not actually wanting to anymore but at the end of last year I found out I had a small tumor in my stomach. Since then I've being really health anxious. It feels like every niggle and pain completely dominates my thoughts and the only logical explanation I can summon is cancer...

I'm not sure if anyone else has experienced this and can relate.

Since I found out about my little tumor it seems to have put into perspective how precious life is, I guess staring into the unknown really gives you a sense of mortality. I had quit for a few weeks when I found out but the pressure really gt to me and I began smoking again. Which I became to resent my self for. My tumor was tested and was found to be benign but instead of removing it they have left it and wanted to take more biopsies a year later. Because of this it feels like I have had no closure. Leaving me feeling almost like a ticking time bomb.

As I mentioned though health anxiety seems to be a good and bad thing as it had spurred me to kick the habit. Also on the flip side dominates my mood for the negative. Although I guess keeping me focused. I'm not actually clinically regarded as a hypo or health anxious person but I understand what i feel mentally and emotionally.

So for a while now I've being getting intermittent back ache on the right side of my spine about an inch below my right shoulder blade in a small localised spot about the size of a 50p coin I guess, and a weird intermittent ache inside my chest when breathing very short and shallow. I cant make this ache appear myself just occasionally pops up. Obviously I'm convinced I have lung cancer and have scared myself so bad I finally decided it time to drop the cigs with no looking back.

Im not sure if all this im experiencing is anxiety manifesting itself as physical symptoms. I went to the docs last week and he said my lungs are clear and sound good. So I guess that should have give me peace but annoyingly not im still letting my thoughts run away with themselves.

Sorry if this kinda went off on a tanjent or broke any forum rules but feels nice getting it off my chest. Especially if someone can come back with any positive feedback or similar experiences.

I have been feeling a bit spaced out today, which has worried me a bit lol but iv read this can be a withdrawal of nicotine. More oxygen in the blood. Not sure if its true but im looking forward to it passing :-).

If anyone is up for offering me some logical straight minded advice please do.

Anyways thanks for reading and wish me luck!.


3 Replies

  • Anything that motivates you to quit is good - but constantly working yourself up into a state of fear is not great. Left unchecked that kind of thing can really take over your life, and you're far too young to be worrying about your health on a day to day basis.

    I'm not sure exactly what to say that will help you but ... remember, you're in good hands. The fact that the benign tumour was found means that your gp is really on the case. The fact that they'll be scanning you again means that you're getting far more diagnostic processes than most people, so nothing is likely to be overlooked.

    It was *benign* - that's great, breathe a sigh of relief! If that tumour was on the outside of you - say, a mole - and they had told you it was absolutely fine and not cancerous, you wouldn't be worrying so much would you? It's just that it's on your inside, and that seems more scary somehow. But you should try and look at it rationally.

    The little symptoms you're feeling are more than likely in your mind. My husband had a similar thing. He had difficulty swallowing, and got more and more worried about it - he could feel the obstruction in his throat the whole time. He was absolutely *convinced* it was cancer. Eventually they looked down there with a camera and there was not one single thing there. The whole thing had been caused by constriction of the muscles due to anxiety!

    If you feel you really can't control the worry, and it's badly affecting your state of mind, maybe your GP could help you with counselling? You shouldn't let fear control your life. You're young and you're healthy and you're taking control of that health by stopping smoking. Statistically speaking you are doing yourself a HUGE favour, as quitting so young means your risk of associated diseases is almost the same as someone who has never smoked.

    Best of luck with it all!


  • Hello Simon, read your post and felt the need to type something, First of congrats on starting to give up, you can only feel better from here on in and also it can only get easier from here on in aswell , M8 what you need to do is chill, take it one day at a time, i mean that in both your quit and in life in general, no point in working yourself into a state, it wont help you in the long run, my thinking in life is ....... if its gonna happen then it will happen and nothing can be done about it, so try not to worry to much about things, giving up smoking will give you a better quality of life both financially and health wise, it will get easy if you stick to it, i been doing it for 36 years and now in my 5 month (i think) and i could nt feel better about myself in all ways, so keep the head up, think positive and you will get there............ Good luck :)

  • Thanks for the replies I really appreciate them.

    I got so stressed on sat night I decided to goto the local a and e. I had a an ecg and everything was good. They said my lungs sounded good and sent me on my way. Iv been out nightly on my bike trying to shake the anxiety. Keeping busy with work, family watching movies. Anything to keep me obsessing. Keep feeling like a yoyo especially at work when im by myself. I think im going to goto the gp to get some advice on counselling. Every symptom I get im almost positive i have lung cancer, its just so crazy. Iv been taking kalms tablets and they seem to be helping.

    Thanks again for the words everyone. Its really good to get encouragement.

    Last cigarette last friday at 4pm roll on 4pm today!


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