Today, I reached my day 50. This is a huge step for me and something that I am extremely proud of. As you all know, there is no way I could have reached this place without all of you. I also feel it is time for me to say Goodbye, I feel I have received all the help I will need to continue on my journey, that does not mean I will not pop in from time to time to say hello. I would like to wish all my best to everyone on this forum who have helped me. I am confident in my quit, I know I will reach the Penthouse. Onwards and Upwards. Strength to all.
To commemorate this half way point to my first 100 days I now offer A Retrospect:
Days 1-3: What the **** is going on? I can’t sleep, my head hurts, and all I’m thinking about is food,fags, food, fags, food, fags and more food.
Days 4-10: Stay the **** away from my Can of Coke in the fridge. This asshole next to me is about to see me jump over there screaming a war chant to rip his ****in’ head off. If one more prick cuts me off on M4, I’m gonna go on a road rage killing spree. ****! That guy in front of me in the check out line just looks like an ass hole. I should punch him in his left eye. (seriously --- I was that angry at everything)
Days 10-23: Things are starting to go pretty smooth! I’m feeling alright. Still thinking about fags, but for the most part I’m feeling good. Running A LOT. Every time I even think about fags I, pull on my running shoes and pound the pavements.. My kids are proud of me. Life is good.
Days 23-40: I’ve done it. I just kept telling myself that if I didn't have the strength of character to control the poisons I was putting into my own body, how could I ever hope to achieve anything of any value in my life? I will never look back.
Days 40-50: Just happy to still be quit. Still think about the shit. Not as much as I did up till this point.
We change moment by moment. You are not exactly the same person you were an hour ago. New cells have grown, hair is longer (if only by a microamount) and you have had thoughts for an hour longer than before. Perhaps a new piece of wisdom has been gained.
The trick, is to accept and revel in the everchanging flow of life. Allow yourself to change. Grow.
When we try to make life remain the same, we wonder why we fail. Life changes just like the river. Just like us. Life moves along, with no attention to whether we`re moving with it. Life doesn`t care if we do or not.
Life offers us its new self each moment. It is up to us whether we reach out and embrace it in all its panoramic change.
One can never know what lies ahead on this everchanging road. Might be good, might be not so good. But we cannot know until we set out. We cannot reap the possible rewards unless we keep on going.
Stagnation only leads to death of the spirit.
Seriously, thank you all SO much for helping me quit. I know we’re not supposed to pat ourselves on the back till we hit the Penthouse, but I feel the need right now! Couldn’t have done it without this site. Can’t wait to see you in the Penthouse.
