:eekThis is a very difficult message to write, so please bear with me.
This last week has been very traumatic for me, and very , I mean very SCARY. I am unsure if it is down to the emotions involved when quitting, the Champix I have been taking, a very stressful couple of weeks regarding work, funerals etc or a combination of all three.
If I can make just one person aware of what I have gone through and be able to help them, then it will be worth it.
This week, I have felt like I have been inside a giant tumble dryer, tossed around over and over again then thrown out. I have been left confused, exhausted, emotions in turmoil and left so disorientated that I very nearly lost my way, and was very nearly in the process of destroying families. As someone once said, ‘train wreck during a meteor storm.’
This has crept up on me so suddenly and unexpectedly (under a week!), that it is terrifying, and hard to predict. I am usually quite a rational person, well I have been for many years, I am a 46 year old Manager at a Jobcentre, so quite able to make rational decisions.
If anyone feels that they are acting/feeling in a way that is irrational to themselves, please, please step back and look at the decisions you are making, be aware that this may be because of medication, quitting etc.
I have taken the last few days to really look and think of my behaviour and actions and hopefully learn from them. Music has also played a part (I have always used music to help in stressful circumstances.
I have not caved in from my quit but have been very close. Please all Take Care.
I now feel I am in a stable place once again, so my strength is back and I feel able to move onwards and upwards.
44 days quit and still with the strength to succeed.