(Deep breath) I'm here and more then a little surprised - 62 days since I last smoked so I'm just beginning my third month. I regularly recall a work colleague saying with conviction 2-3 years ago that I would never give up smoking...well, she was wrong! I must admit that I feel a teeny bit of pride that she was wrong
Anyway, the last few days have been up and down and I was getting a little distressed by it all. I've just returned from holiday and by the way, doing airports and plane journeys without thinking about cigs was SO liberating. The holiday was brilliant and there were only a few niggles to contend with.
However, when I got home, all hell seem to break loose
I had reduced my champix down to one tablet while away and thought this might be the reason for the increased intensity of thoughts/cravings and I started to feel miserable... Then, I started to ruminate that the champix was making my mood plummet because you read a lot on the internet about the dangers of champix. Then I wanted to eat the whole time but nothing would fill me and I ruminated about weight gain. Then I started to have the intense nostalgic thoughts about how wonderful/comforting it was when I smoked and then came the tears as I began to really worry that I would live the rest of my life in absolute misery.....
The first thing that helped was this forum - thank heaven for everyone here. You are all stars.
The next thing that helped was reading old posts and to keep reading and keep reading. Slowly, things are starting to settle down in my head again.
So has my being all over the place been due to
- the reduction in champix and should I go back up to 2 tabs daily (I'm 10 weeks on champix cut down to 1 tab on 22nd Nov) Even as I write this, I'm freaking out that i'm now 'addicted' to champix....
am I just on a downer from a fab holiday
is this just the normal merry-go-round of emotions of quitting?