re training the brain

Hello everybody, well I must admit Wednesday was horrible, I craved and craved as was working with my smoking client, I hated it so much :mad

I spoke to a mutual friend yesterday and said to him that after 7 weeks I'd have thought I wouldn't be feeling like this no more, not so bad anyway..

He said that because I haven't 're trained my brain to dis-like the fags yet, which i really need to, else I'l stay in limbo.

So my main thing now is that every time I'm around a smoker I'm to think that it's a disgusting, smelly habit, and I'm a non-smoker.....

Has anyone else done this and 1. Does it work ?? And 2. What did u say to yourself ???

26 Replies

  • Sorry to hear you had a bad day. Sometimes you will get a bad day but look at it as a one of.

    No I didn't program my mind to think cigarettes were disgusting. It doesn't bother me if people smoke around me. I always said I wouldn't turn into one of these people who wave smoke away. I can watch them smoking and just wonder WHY???????

  • Hi Sian,

    I remember those bad days, they are horrible :( . Do whatever it takes to get through it and then find a way to treat yourself at the end of the day. I recommend cake :D

    I do think it's all about brain retraining, this quitting malarkey. But I don't think it's about training yourself to be disgusted by fags. It's about changing the way you think about smoking.

    For me this happened slowly and gradually - for the longest time I missed the habit - but I kept making the conscious choice that I would not smoke, each day. I kept reading, kept reminding myself of my reasons, faced down those bad days (it was a close thing once or twice!!). And eventually I realised that I wasn't just saying that I didn't want to smoke - I wasn't repeating it to myself, or justifying it, or paying-lip service... I just didn't want them any more, and I wouldn't light a fag if you paid me.

    You'll get there. Just keep soldiering on. It will get easier!


  • Hi Sain

    I don't think I will ever be able to train the brain to hate them as such.

    I don't think we can fool the subconscious in that way.

    I do however hang on every word Helen says everytime she tells us that over a long peroid of time she managed to make the choice not to smoke each day and the subconscious caught up with the conscious decisions.

    Maybe that is what your freind meant?

    As I said the other day, or at least I think I did! :confused: (can't remember) ... my mother in law went for a long time quit but still felt she would have liked to smoke. she wasn't craving at all but always felt she was missing out on something..

    Then she had one years later at a party and .... It Was Disgusting!

    That was both her gradual conscious choices and, after actually trying one, the disgusting reality of smoking.

    I am so with you on thinking I would not be thinking of them after 7 weeks, but in the scheme of things .... we're only 7 weeks in after decades of smoking.... many have told me this ... I just got to let it get through! :)

    On a brighter note!

    I have been working at a sister company for most of today stocktaking, and I suddenly realised I hadn't thought about smoking for about an hour at one point! :eek:

    Then of course, as soon as I had that marvelous thought .... I started thinking about it again!


    Hang tough and Thank Crunchie it's Friday! :D



  • I'm with you on that Greg, if I suddenly think hell ive not thought of a cig wham bang my minds like ciggie ciggie ciggie again bloody big DOH :)

    I agree with everything Helen says and I don't want to become an ex smoker from hell as that wouldn't help in my job (:rolleyes: ummmmmm)

    But I would like my subconscious to workout I no longer smoke, and actually enjoy being a non smoker :confused:

    I gotta admit even the cravings aren't as bad as actually smoking, and when I get offered fags I'm like, ummmmmm no thanks, though I wanted 1 actually the thought of smoking 1 makes me go yucky , ok maybe lost the plot:eek:

    See Greg your words of wisdom are so helpful to me, so you can't go leaving me

    Where's biggrin ..??? Hope u ok

  • Think he's probably down the Spar chuck, stocking up on the goodies!

    I told him it was his round and I haven't seen him since!

    yag agagagagaga! (popeye)




  • That sounds about right I even offered to replace the J20's I drank the morning after the night before lol

    Hope your day bein ok, and u looking 4ward to your wks end off, I have 10hrs sat and 10hrs sun with my heavy smoking client :(

  • Oh bugger!

    I don't know what to do Sian

    It annoys me sooooo much when you have to do that!!

    Please tell me you don't have to hold it for them still?

    Can't you just say "oh I just remembered I have to and check your loft lagging" or "err....I think the front door needs a 1/4 taken off the bottom, I'll just go get my plane!" ..... anything to get away from them!

    I mean, I'm going to write to your MP if it isn't sorted soon!! GRRRRR :mad:

    I only hope if you are there it does actually sink in to your subconscious how god-damn awful it is to smoke!

    I mean it, I will write to your MP, and the European Court of Human Rights!

    It makes me LIVID to think about it.

    By the way, not going anywhere chuck,

    boy .......... are you going to be sick of me! hehehe! :D

  • Sick of u never :D

    Yes have to hold the cig but it's only in the morn, its mad I basically do everything that a smoker does except put it to my mouth, my poor brain don't half struggle, it's there thinking wtf you holding it breathing it but your not putting it anywhere near your mouth :confused:

    Actually I think I just realised why I crave so much.....:eek:

  • Oh Sian, I feel so sorry for you! It's one thing to be able to be around smokers but its a totally different thing to do what you describe.

    I can't believe how strong you're being. Your mind will get used to it eventually and I'm praying that it gets here quickly for you sweetheart

    Top news that Greg's sticking about innit :D

    Molly x

  • If nifty's starting a petition, i'll be signing it before the ink dries! Hang in there and if it helps use HALT - ask yourself are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired and if it is one of those things and it almost always is, remind yourself that a cig won't change how you're feeling. If you give in, you'll feel rotten on so many levels!

    For me the huge challenge is distinguishing between a physical and psychological crave. Most of what I call craving at this stage is to do with the habit - the activity of smoking. I can smoke if I want-who's going to stop me? I can buy cigs and smoke the whole pack if I want but I do not want to yet this 'something missing' feeling drives me up the wall and round the bend...arrrrrrgghhhh!

    Helsbelles says it best - you're stronger then this stupid plant! Now go look at any houseplant, stare at it....can you beat it? Of course you can!

    Hope you're feeling better, you can do this, xo

  • Sian

    WTF what job do you do? and if its care worker you bloody well DO NOT have to hold their fags, im fuming for you, even when i smoked and i was a home help i hated going into some houses as they were very heavy smokers and didnt open windows ever (til i got there) i can still remember the taste of the smoke on smoke as i walked through the doors

    stay strong hunni, ill bethinkin of you tomorrow

  • brain training

    There is this method called cognitive behaviour training. The reason we often fail is because we expect to and constantly negatively reinforce ourselves. Try writing down the 10 most common thoughts you have about wanting to smoke. Mine would include

    Something's missing.

    It's not fair.

    Why do I bother?

    No one need know.

    Well everyone dies, not just smokers.

    I dont care. I just want to.

    Then think of an alternative for each one. Try to keep them positive;

    finally I am free. Life is complete.

    I have been given another chance to live a smoke free life. What a blessing.

    Smokers smoke because they have to, not because they want to.

    I love life.

    Crikey, it was easier for me to write the second list.Sian in your circumstances, perhaps you should really look at your client. Has smoking affected their health in any way. Are they wealthy people living in beautiful surroundings? Who empties the ashtrays. Do you worry about fire. Do these people and their homes smell good. How are their teeth?. You want the cigarette, are you envious of any other aspect of their life? Sian your kids are in high school, have any tried smoking, would you mind if they did. Are you likely to influence them?

    Do you want to be saying I am a smoker, I love it so much that I dont mind how much it costs, how much it upsets my family, or affects my health. A cigarette is not a cigarette, it carries so much baggage, not least the million other cigarettes its linked to with tiny chains.

    Whatever you do, please dont let the smoker know you feel deprived, it confirms for them that it is impossible to stop and keeps them trapped.

    I nreally like you Sian, you have been a role model for me, 2 weeks aheaed, please practise brain training

  • Cognitive Behavioural therapy, not training!

    D'oh I had the other word in my head.

  • The one thing that slightly pacifies me Sian

    Is that you have had to do this from the start, so you handle it unbelievably well in the beginning you know what you have to do now.

    Are you REALLY SURE you have to do this?

    I mean RALLY SURE!?!?

    See, I'm getting annoyed again just writing about it! :mad:

    What about the passive smoking?!?!

    That's illegal in a public place let alone a place of work

    Just because this place of work happens to be a house/flat whatever.....shouldn't mean you have to be subjected to it!

    I bet if you were a non-smoker (oh sorry you are :) you know what I mean - a never-smoker) and you made a noise about it to your boss you would be swapped to another patient immediately!! No questions asked!

    Oh, hang on a minute. just thought..are you self employed?

    (sorry for any typo's .. that came out quite quickly!)

  • MrsM's post... fantastic. In every way.

    H x

  • Coudn't your employers reassign you to someone who didn't require this service? I mean, they ought to be concerned about the health of their care workers, and this is quite an important thing you're doing.

    It seems so unfair. But in the meantime, looking at your client in a dispassionate way, thinking about what smoking is doing to them, while you are helping them to smoke... I imagine you could turn it into an exercise in cognitive behavioural therapy!

    Hang in there, you're a star for getting this far xxx

  • Sian

    I'm absolutely certain that under any circumstances, you'll never light up again.

    Way to go Hun:)

    Fi x

  • Mrsm you are again a inspiration :) I would never light up again and that I'm sure, I know I think of it and even generally tempted but I'd never do it, as I know me and I have worked so hard to stay off the fags at every turn, and have managed it so far, I never want to go through it again, no no no no, its not been the easiest journeys..... but I'm still here and I really want to hit the penthouse next yr :D

    Fi how can I let u and your crystal ball down, you have had so much faith in me from the start and I'd hate to disappoint you, thank u :D

    Helen your just amazing ( I can't wait to meet u in the penthouse )

    And Greg I'd never leave u here alone so will never light up and I will fight this nic demon and stay smoke free, as like I say I love been smoke free :D

    Thank u everybody, I will become more positive soon I promise

  • Oh honey, be yourself. You are honest and that is really important. You might want to think about a new job though. Lots of love x

  • You are just like the rest of us Sian

    On the rollercoaster!

    Please note I have removed the fish from this photograph using state of the art image technology so as not to arise the suspicions of any animal activists or fish lovers that may be offended. No fish were harmed during the making of this post. Any similarity to real invisible fish,either dead or alive, is not intentional and purely coincidental.

    copyright Nifty's Fish Slapping Emporium.

  • I love it Greg Pmsl, but be careful we might have them fish 1activist s after us lol, but il be your alibi and ensure everybody knows no fish were hurt lol

    Mrsm thank u, lots of love back

    (((( HUGE HUGS ))))

  • You are just like the rest of us Sian

    On the rollercoaster!

    Please note I have removed the fish from this photograph using state of the art image technology so as not to arise the suspicions of any animal activists or fish lovers that may be offended. No fish were harmed during the making of this post. Any similarity to real invisible fish,either dead or alive, is not intentional and purely coincidental.

    copyright Nifty's Fish Slapping Emporium.

    Love it Nifty :D

    Sian, about the thoughts: you could try watching out for them. When you notice yourself think "I want a fag" or something like that, try to catch the thought before it disappears. Then, mentally repeat the thought to the thought, but as a question. I.E. if it says "I want a fag" you say (mentally) "I want a fag?". This can be repeated a few times.

    You might find it's like a naughty child that has been caught red handed by an adult. The thought loses all its authority and certainty, and starts squirming and twirling it's hair in it's fingers!

    As usual, I feel irate that you are exposed to your smoking client, and you having to light cigs for them makes me furious :mad:

  • Sian, you haven't got any Champix left have you? If so, you could slip some in your smoking client's coffee..........:p

  • Sian, you haven't got any Champix left have you? If so, you could slip some in your smoking client's coffee..........:p

    beautiful, i can send whats left off my script if you want lol.

    I must ask Sian, is it written into their careplan that you feed them fags? If not you dont have to do it, just a thought I know your strong and you can handle it, but if you worked in an office or pub or even a care home you wouldnt have to put up with that.

    hope it was ok for you x

  • it does work

    Hi Sian

    I can firmly say that I have managed to re-train my brian; I maybe crave once ever 4/5 days now and I immediately just switch it off now as my mind is so focued that I will never have another one!

    I changed everything, from the time I set my alarm clock to the time I go to bed, I have also kept my new routine (which includes lots of excercise too)!!

    What has made it easier, is that even if I wanted to smoke, I would have to hide from my kids........and work colleagues, so no thjoughts of maybe just one!!

    BUT and I think Greg will agree, your smoking clients are making your journey much harder..........................I have no smoking friends now which makes it sooooo much easier.

    In conclusion, I think I have had an easier time that you, so maybe it will just take a little longer! And I really was one of those people that no-one every thought would manage giving up!!

    You take care of yourself

    Lots of Love


  • Stinky smokers

    I'm the manager of a newsagent and seeing people waiting for me to open every morning at 6:30 in the cold and rain then asking for thier 20 B&H with the stinky smoke breath and handing over £10 and getting £1.50 in change (You tend to waste the £1.50 change too so that would make £250-£300 per month) followed by a few throat clearing coughs as they go.....see you in the morning then!!!

    I don't want to sound like one of those ex smokers that are a bit annoying but I can't for the life of me find a single reason why I did that but the list is endless why I don't.

    It's been 2 months for me (champix aided but stopped them myself for angry reasons) and I would like to think that witnessing the above every day is all the brain training I will ever need.

    My advice to re-train your brain is go out with your smoking mates for a beer or several and the first thing you'll notice you're already at least 2 pints better off than them financially, warmer if it's cold outside, drier too if it's raining and as for that rank stale fag thanks.

    Good luck none stinky people.

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