Hello Y'all here I am back from Holidaying in the states where I am pleased to announce......... I am still a homo, but get this a 1 stone heavier one :eek:
Well my first holiday as a non smoker went really well, in fact there were times when i actually forgot i ever smoked and even pretended the hotel reception on check ( in my posh geordie accent probably sounded more like a cat on heat but never mind ) that I would not like a smoking room as its disgusting ( to the amusement of my partner who turned one eye brow up to say really ? ) anyways she was lovely our Brittany was, could of taken her home I tell you!! Anyways there were times when i just thought, Jesus Christ I don’t smoke, I made it through the entire 10 hour flight without a fag, all that alcohol on the plane and before in the lounge, no need to stress getting off or rush through customers bad tempered just desperate for a fag... now that happened to me a few years back, i was on trip to Barbados and me and my partner at the time ( i refer to my ex at this point ) decided to go to Miami in between so obviously i never took my ticket to go back to London, so on my arrival back in to Barbados, i got stopped at customers and i was faced with someone who clearly never got laid the night before or in fact the way he spoke to me in his entire life, anyway she was so rude and objective as i never had my return ticket and he could not understand that its in my partners house as I’m on a mini trip within a trip get me ??? NO, so anyways i had enough of this sh1t by this point, i had a few wines, i was tired, i needed A FAG and i just said all lady like " of look at my passport stamps there is plenty for Barbados and if you actually look on the internet i have an E ticket which means ELECTRONIC so do us both a favour and just let me yeah" ? well I’m really not entirely sure what happened next but I do know i ended up locked in an immigration room with some whore who tried to sneak into the country from Miami, dozy cow did she really think bajan’s were going to let her in the country with them shoes ? anyways, I spent the next 2 hours YES 2 hours being interrogated whilst my partner had to complete a 2 hour round trip to collect my return ticket home before they would let me in....... i should of stopped smoking then as it made me get locked up ;-).....
So anyways, i went to all the parks on holiday and not once did i crave, ok that’s a lie on Wednesday we went to Disney and did 4 parks and I was a right stroppy b1tch i was craving so so badly, and I dont know why, i think it was one of the moments where you remember it was so good to smoke on holiday ? But why the fuxk i got that in Disney a park I should not really smoke in there anyways i don’t know!! Maybe as the last time i went there last year the little sh1ts stressed me out so much i needed a 100 in one day and they weren’t even mine!
anyways I Digress, i made it through and never had one, even when we witnessed some old lady lift her knickers up and just pee in the park i never wanted one out of shock!!!! YI here you gasp and believe me my partner almost fainted, Magic Kingdon, old deer p11ssing ??? hahahahaaha made me day I tell you, them poor kiddies sooo funny!!!
After that day, i had a moment where i just felt so free and realised there were times i never ever thought i could do this and I did, i felt amazing, i was able to walk for hours and stand in queues for hours and still have energy at the end of the 10 hour park days where my smoking Partner was not able to and he is 4 years younger than me and a fitness fanatic 
so VERY proud of that..... i can say now its been 12 weeks, i have days where I could just cave but ,they are very few and far between. I don’t think i could ever go back but i know i may end up as lots do after 6 months a year 22 years ect.... it’s all a mind game i need to keep up with.
I mean it will kill me at some point then again i probably do that myself as Im so clumsy.. i mean i remember one night in Barbados i was being introduced to my ex friend who had the big plush fancy apartment next to my partners and I was in the bar getting beers and wine for our guest and i walked out and just as my ex said " Derek DEREK here is ( cant remember her name now ) i want you to meet her, well i moved to the side and as I did and said hi i fell down the side steps, well i fell, i flew down them straight into tables at the bottom where a couple was sitting eating... my drinks went everywhere, my legs did, the worst thing is when you try to get up and fall again ? yes I did that back in to the chairs, my friend was dying and having mass palpitations at this point, not able to breath, going blue choking from laughing so hard but my EX his posh mate just looked on in horror at me.... like i did it on purpose ??? i just got up picked up the remaining 1 bottle that never smashed back up the steps and in my most charming ways ' Hi im derek lovely to meet you, how are you ?"
Anyways, today at work has been sooooo hard I have had fits, outbursts I even lost it with colleagues who always love to wind me up to watch me blow... but i refrained and from smoking and you know what ? today I never eventhought about it, not even when i went out side with my colleague... I think I have did guys................
Hi peeps im back!
Well, Im back. March 15 will be day one.
