Voyeur coming clean......

[nsd_user663_51617]

Did that title get your attention?......

Ok, for a while now I have been secretly reading posts from this forum in the hope that I might one day have the courage to actually commit finger to button and write something myself and have a absh at this "giving up" lark.

I've been a "joker" (slang we use for smoker) for 25 years now and probably get through an average of 15 per day. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to stop but never find the impetus to actually do it. It's very strange how an otherwise intelligent person can act and think so stupidly. I actually fantasise about being a non-smoker quite a lot but continue smoking! What's going on there?!? madness.

Anyway, I am sure I am one of thousands of people who read this forum without actually dipping their toe in and commiting to it. I like to call them "ghost readers" It'll be for the same reason I didn't, which is pride. I reckon 99% of people who give up think in their heart of hearts that they can't do it. So, they are scared of telling people they have given up because they think that within a day or so they will have to re-surface with their tail between their legs and admit failure. Nobody likes doing that, do they?

I am the same. Yes, i've "come out" on here now but in the back of my mind I'm thinking "oh no! what have I done! tomorrow I'm going to look like an idiot".

Anyway, day 1 for me. If you dont hear from me again you'll know what happened.

Cheers

[nsd_user663_7957]

Welcome, themagic32. I hope the first day goes well for you and we see you tomorrow!

[nsd_user663_37244]

welcome

You have taken the 1st step congrats.

Whether this quit works or not you have already proved you are not an idiot.

An idiot would be someone who knows all the health risks and the financial waste of smoking yet never considers it might be an idea to stop.

Don't smoke today and you are better off than if you had, then try and do it tomorrow.

1 day at a time and if you slip no problem, you are still better off than not trying and simply start again 1 day at a time,if you dont slip woooooooo hoooooooooo your on your way to a much better life.

Good Luck. Barrie

[nsd_user663_1655]

Way to go in making the decision to quit! Take it a day at a time and soon they will start adding up.. Stay strong, and keep reading posts, it does help!

Vike

[nsd_user663_48218]

Welcome to the forum and to the start of a wonderful life free from smoking. Yes it can and usually is hard at times but you will find that sticking with it is it's own reward. I am sure that by reading the posts on this forum and asking people for advice and guidance you will continue to be inspired.

[Dippy_Egg]

You best be there on day 2 Voyeur or i'm coming to get you!

[nsd_user663_51617]

Well, as i suspected. I got home from work and succumbed to the nagging cries for nicoteen. I should say I only had one though! although i know that makes no difference to you hard-core quitters.... god, fessing up like this really does make you feel pathetic!

Is there a record for the longest time someone has stayed on day 1 on this forum? If I don't sort out my resolve I fear that recors could be in danger!

Anyhow, thanks for your replies. Never been on a forum before so wasn't sure I'd get any responses.

I'm back on the wagon again today and i find it quite easy at work. Just need to set my mind straight for when i get home!!!..

thanks

[nsd_user663_37244]

If you only smoked 1 than how much better was that than what you would normally have smoked ? In that respect well done don't beat yourself up.

I'm only on day 4 myself after many attempts to quit I now think as long as you don't quit on quitting you will eventually get there.

Keep letting us know how your getting on :).

[nsd_user663_44157]

You best be there on day 2 Voyeur or i'm coming to get you!

Ohhhh how could you do that. Dippy's gonna be after you now, she will be chasing you on her bike.

It does'nt matter how many first days you have, its when you stop trying that you have failed

[nsd_user663_51617]

Hi, well it happened again! I just couldn't resist having just 1 again last night. I dont know why, just couldn't. Its very strange as all day at work im fine and am actually enjoying it. Im starting to wonder whether im playing sub-conscious tricks on myself here. Am I managing through the day because deep in my head i am telling myself i can have one later?

It's Friday and I would normally have my weekly unwind glass or two of wine tonight but i feel that could be very dangerous given my evident weakness. I think I shall have to abstain - boo hoo. Where's the fun in that?

I hope you dont read these posts of mine and think " look out, we've got a live one here! he's gonna be a nightmare!!!" and stop posting yur replies?

I don't think ill ever stop trying to quit. It just gets tiring puting yuourself through the guilt all of the time.

Thanks

[nsd_user663_18145]

Hi and well done on getting through another day only having 1 ciggie the fact that your going all day without one is brill and suddenly cutting down to just one is amazing alot of people start by cutting down before they quit

only you can decide when it feels right to stop completely

hope you manage to keep to that 1 ciggie a day over the weekend

btw have you considered using nrt to help you with your quit?

[nsd_user663_51617]

Thanks Carol. Appreciate you taking the time to reply.

I have tried just about everything over the years and here I am. I really do believe that the best way is to "want to quit" (which i do) and use will power. I think that this was has the best chance of being a permanent quit. A friend of mine gave up Jan 1st this year but is still sucking away on an inhalator like his life depends on it.

I think you are right, i need to keep plugging away and eventually ill crack the evening curse!

My aim is to post on the day 2 thread, one day!

Thanks again for giving a s**t.

[nsd_user663_18145]

we all know what its like to be addicted to something that controls us in every way :eek:

but the fact that you have managed to cut down to just one ciggie in the evening is amazing and shows that you do have the nerve and the willpower to fight and win this battle

you can get the power back and go forward without that white stick in control trying to think positive and learn to ignore that demanding voice inside trying every which way it can to tempt you back into its lair

just by taking it one day at a time

or even one minute or one hour

you can do it

[nsd_user663_51617]

Really struggling......

[nsd_user663_48218]

Hang in there. You can do it. Just worry about getting through the next hour. That's all you ever need to target for and all you need to achieve.

[nsd_user663_50109]

Are u quitting CT or using any NRT.

If ur quitting CT maybe that ain't working for u and u need another way of quitting using form of NRT will help u

[nsd_user663_51617]

I need to report that I have just succummed and had a smoke. its hard to decribe the guilt and disspointment i am feeling right now...

Am doubting my ability to do this.

Maybe i am destined to smoke and i should just accept it.

I just cant seem to be bothered with the effort although i really want to stop.

jeepers........................

:mad:

[nsd_user663_51617]

I am going CT as I have tried everything else to no avail....

[nsd_user663_16968]

Hi there

Just came on as i dont post very often now and thought i would wish you all the best with your quit. No matter how many day 1's you have one of those will get you to day 2 and so on. Good luck in all aspects you have a good team here all willing you on whatever stage your at. They helped me lots and i mean that when i joined in 2010.

Take care and keep posting. We are all here for u.x

[nsd_user663_26699]

I have tried just about everything over the years and here I am. I really do believe that the best way is to "want to quit" (which i do) and use will power.

I think what you need is some training. Try this: Don't smoke for a whole day, and see if you can manage. If you can't, you're definitely not ready to stop. Try again when you think you have a chance of success. If you make it past a day, see if you can make it past a week. If you can't, then try again.

The fact is, and what I have tried to point out to people before is that there is no reason why you can't smoke at any point in the future. Cigarettes will always be there (unless there is a government initiative to eliminate them, which is highly unlikely, at least in the near future). So, take the weight off your shoulders. You're not forgoing a limited-time offer! Nobody can stop you from starting again, just as abruptly as you stopped. Take it easy!

I've been quit for almost two years, but damnit, if I want to start smoking again tomorrow, I will! The thing is I won't, because I know that I don't need it any more. I'm past the stage of caring about smoking.

Stats: Age 50, smoked 30-60 a day for 30 years.

Alex.

[nsd_user663_2]

Hi themagic32,

We saw and have removed that post and apologise for any confusion/offence caused. We will find out what was happening and make sure it doesn't happen again.

In the meantime good luck with quitting - we hope you succeed and we are sure you will find the support necessary here to help you along the way

Lots of Luck

No Smoking Day

[nsd_user663_51617]

Thanks Alex, that's great advice. very incisive and perceptive.

I think you are so right. Its the pressure I am putting on myself to do it. The "one time only offer" thing is so true...its like im telling myself that if i dont do it right here and right now ive got no chance. I just have to be gentle with myself and take it at my own pace.

I think ill set some thinking time aside this weekend to really search my soul.

I AM GOING TO DO THIS! sooner rather than later.....

[nsd_user663_22353]

The way i did it, & we all get monster cravings early on, is to just pause & calm yourself. Tell yourself why you're feeling how you are & just try to clear your head. What's the absolute worst thing that can happen if you don't smoke?

Getting through that first day is a big psychological boost, because you know you can do a day without smoking. After day 3, the nicotine craving disappears & you're just left with the actual physical habit & it becomes easier every day.

Just push through the initial hard moments, each one beaten will make the next easier to manage. Before you know it, they're gone.

[nsd_user663_51617]

Thanks MrE.

karri, I know how you are feeling. Im sorry i cant give you any advice. Not really in a position to do so....... yet.

Right - here it is then, a new week and and new day. This is my day 1. haven't had a smoke since around 8pm last night so i'm all set! during the day is easy for me while i am at work. I just need to prepare for the down time this evening which is when i seem to crack. I might go for a walk or get in the bike.....

Cheers

[nsd_user663_18145]

Well done on making this your day 1

come on here and post if you need help distracting yourself i found playing online games helped me

but the best thing is trying to keep a positive mind

hope you have a good day

regards

Carol

[nsd_user663_51617]

Thanks Carol. I find it quite easy during the day its just the evenings where i have struggled. I am mentally preparing myself for it though so im hopeful of a better result tonight.

cheers

[nsd_user663_16968]

Hi Magic

I thought i would come along and help where i can. Now i am not suggesting for one minute that you get knitting or anything but i looked back on my failed quits and noticed that it was boredom in the evenings that got to me and subsequently i went back on the weed. This time around i started prepared, i knew i wanted to stop, i got lots of things to keep me occupied like i taught myself to knit (scarves only as the members on here who know me should remember), i bought a few books and made sure that i kept myself busy all the time.

I changed my daily routine and when the boredom kicked in i found anything i could to help me to take my mind off of things. I suppose i was lucky, i never smoked inside so using a computer never made me think of smoking, after meals i never smoked so this time it was easier i suppose. I think if you can change routine maybe that might help, well it did me. Dont beat yourself up about giving in your time will come.

Good luck x

[nsd_user663_51617]

Thanks nuttynursee. Appreciate that. I feel stronger about tonight because I am prepared and expecting it.

I will go out for a walk or bike ride if it gets hard.

I too have never smoked indoors but when i'm bored i normally go out in the garden and light up. Not tonight though.

Cheers

[nsd_user663_51617]

oh .... and nuttynursee, i clicked through to read your original post and i pretty much have exactly the same reaosn for waniting to stop smoking.

How do you feel looking back almost 2 years on what you wrote then?

Cheers

[nsd_user663_16968]

Hi Magic

I cant believe its coming up to 2 years honestly. I never thought i could do it even though i knew i wanted to stop. Everytime i lit up i thought "WTF am i doing and would waste so much of the cig, never finishing it never inhaling just wasting my money literally letting it burn away in front of me.

I did not stop for anyone other than for me, i regret starting all those years ago and wish i was strong enough to have stayed off them the times before. I only ever had 3 times i attempted to stop and 3rd time was it.

I was one of those who had the "Eureka" moment if you like as i was a slave and i hated it. I understand how others feel and how hard it can be to make that decision to stop and then get past all the triggers and cravings. Although i did not have cravings as such which i thought was weird it was just boredom. But in honesty all cravings are different so i cant truely say if i did or not.

That nicotine monster is a sly old git mind u and once a smoker always a smoker and i for one dont want to get back into that again. I love being free, i can go for car journeys now and not have to stop because i need my nicotine boost and i know my clothes and breath dont smell as i knew before that i had smelly breath and i hated it I would not speak to people unless i brushed my teeth or had mints to eat which never masked it.

I made the decision to quit earlier in Oct 2010, i was going onto E cigs and cut down then i just thought NO i dont want to do this anymore.

It is lovely being free and i know you can do it too. But do it for you that way i think in our minds we dont feel we are being punished and feel we are missing out on something.

Good luck Magic, you will soon be free forever xx