Start 4th week today, 29/7 but miss my buddy

[nsd_user663_50126]

3 full weeks gone. Last cig 2pm Saturday 7th July 2012.

I have lost my quit buddy EvieB, but I'm sure we'll be together again very shortly around the 2/3 month zone.

Losing Evie really knocked me back...and there are many reasons, no doubt, that she had for succumbing. Temptation, Stress, momentary weakness, a heavy trigger and just plain desire & enjoyment...who knows?. One thing for sure, it wasn't nicotine dependency..Evie beat that well and truly and should feel proud of herself for doing that.

Evie (and everyone)..If I can do this, so can you. My smoking was done out of sheer pleasure, relaxation and enjoyment. (Can you believe that? I enjoyed killing myself!) I'de sit on my balcony at night and watch the sun set over the small harbour and have a cool glass of wine or even a tea/coffee. At those times, a cig was natural and very right. To beat that habit took lots of determination and pain. Many times I thought "Why bother, I could get killed tomorrow crossing the street (a realistic chance with the drivers of Gozo!)..if you want a smoke Phil, go ahead, what's your big problem"? This voice of nicotine temptation came in many other guises and forms, always when I was weak/vulnerable and ready for a smoke.

This habit, this temptation and these triggers are far harder to conquer than nicotine dependency, which is clear in a matter of days physiologically. Each of us must find a method to defeat the evils of habit and temptation, a personal method that works for the individual. I find it vital to prepare ahead..viz If I know I'm going into a situation where a trigger will occur, I already prepare my defence strategy, be it a chanted mantra, a brief walk or chatting to someone (anyone!!) and telling them what I'm feeling and going through. Most people are fantastic listeners!!

If you let a trigger sneak up on you, you have every chance of being one of those who succumbs, saying, "It's only just this once" when you know full well it won't be only just this once!

I really do believe that you can smoke e cigs til they come out of your ear, you can take tablets until you rattle and you can cover every inch of your body in patches..... but to stop smoking there has to be a time when YOU, together with your body and brain, say "ENOUGH is ENOUGH"..and that needs will power, strength and a pre-conceived withdrawal strategy. There is no easy way...but this, I now know...If you're really determined, the pain and problems CAN be dealt with, sometimes easily.....but if you're less determined, you will look for the smallest reasons to quit your quit.

Taking it DAY by DAY is perhaps, the most vital part of a realistic quit.

I'm no expert on this but I do feel having an input on this forum helps a lot.

it sort of logs your progress in such a format that it becomes one of your allies in the front line battle. The forum itself is really a very good quit buddy.

I'll be boring you to death soon. Last words..."COME ON EVIE!!!"

[nsd_user663_46317]

Well done Phil, sorry you lost your quit buddy but I really think you've got the hang of this quitting lark

[nsd_user663_49670]

I am still here

I know I smoked 3 cigarettes that I now wish I hadn't but I am still here.

I won't be able to catch you up now Phil but I will stick this quit out to the bitter end.

Good luck and stay strong.

Evie x

[nsd_user663_44204]

I am going on holiday in 4 weeks time, and like you Phil the time that I will miss a smoke most of all is when I sit on the balcony watching the sun set with a glass of wine, but I have already mastered the glasses of wine and fag in the other hand by now. I am now 5 and a half months smoke free after smoking for 50 years, and it's a fantastic feeling of freedom. I can now look forward to going on my hols without feeling frustrated about not having a smoke in the airport, or on the plane, or in a restaurant, or on the beach etc etc.

Good luck to you in your quit, just face every Day with determination, and tell yourself yesssss I can do this xxxx