Will it ever end?

Hi everyone, this is my first time on the sight. So this is possibly about the 6th or 7th time I have tried to quit. I absolutely hate smoking and everything associated with it and the only reason I do it is because like everyone else I am addicted. Patches did not work for me. Gum did not work for me. Champix worked for me which is something I tried about three times but made me quite a depressive angry person. Only problem is after a few months I only have to have a good drink and that's it I start again. I am currently trying the inhalator, I have had good few cravings which is to be expected. I think the worse thing about quitting smoking is having to give so much else up meaning your life becomes one constant big boring struggle. For e.g. I like drinking every few nights to relieve stress but I have to give that up to quit smoking, I just want to constantly eat but I'm told to eat healthy food which is not something I've ever been good at doing excessively. Then there is the losing my temper and shouting at my poor ten year old daughter, being a single mom who works part time in a stressful job, I just think is it worth it? I know it is if eventually I can get through it and never smoke again but will that happen? Sorry everyone for waffling on but any thoughts or ideas greatly welcomed.

9 Replies

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  • My thoughts are...itsworthititsworthititsworthititsworthit

    basically, it's worth it. Shouting at daughter for a few weeks is nothing compared to giving her permission to smoke when she's older, which is what will happen if you don't give up.

    I can see that being a single mum, when treats are so important that it is tricky having to avoid things that go with smoking. What do you like to drink? and if you have a drink at home does that also trigger the cigarette thing?

    Having been a single mum in the past, i know how hard it is not to have some sort of comfort at the end of the day. This forum might be able to give you a hug and tlc every day if you let yourself use it. We are all mainly having to avoid alcohol too, plus we are all stuffing our faces and putting on weight!

    You could think about cold turkey if you have tried all the other ways. It's not that bad y'know. You could try alan carrs book, which can help on cold turkey. He either suits people or he doesn't , but worth a look.

    I don't think you should deprive yourself of everything at once. Maybe eating what you fancy while you are in the worst bit (first 3 weeks for most i think) would help. And just stop being so hard on yourself! x

  • Hi Mazzy, welcome to the site.

    Warning - your post really struck a chord, you sound so down, so I'm sorry if this is a long post, but I've got to answer you properly!

    It's not suprising that you feel like this. I think we all go through a stage of thinking that we're 'sacrificing' something in order to quit smoking. But it's not true. Once we've properly adjusted our brain to being non smokers, we can do all the things we used to and a damn sight more besides Anyway, let me take your post point by point:

    'Only problem is after a few months I only have to have a good drink and that's it I start again. '

    Well, you're not alone there. Booze has ruined many a good quit. But when you've been quit a few months it IS possible to resist lighting up - I wonder if your subconscious was just looking for an excuse, and the first chance it got, it went in for the kill? You have to focus on getting your head in the right place, so you can beat those moments.

    'I think the worse thing about quitting smoking is having to give so much else up meaning your life becomes one constant big boring struggle.'

    Nooo! You don't have to! You might need to cut down a bit on drinking at the start so you don't get hammered and cave in during the early days. But if you get yourself used to having a drink and not smoking, after a while your subconscious acclimatises, and it stops being a trigger. Honestly! What else do you feel you're having to give up? Really, there's no need to change anything good about your lifestyle. All you're really giving up is a whole shedload of nasty stuff - Spending wodges of cash on poison. Smelling horrible. Coughing our guts up. Risking your life.

    'I just want to constantly eat'

    God yes, we've all been there. I've sat on the sofa with a bucket of ice cream and a shovel when the cravings got bad. But it does calm down a bit after a while, and then you can address any extra pounds. You don't need to live on tofu and carrot sticks, be gentle with yourself. Quitting is THE single best thing you can do for your health. So concentrate on that.

    'Then there is the losing my temper and shouting at my poor ten year old daughter'

    Yup, quitting can make monsters of us all at the beginning. But that part doesn't last forever. When you're a smoker, being in a constantly fluctuating state of nicotene dependence can make you cranky as hell with the kids too. Once you're free of this I bet you anything you'll find you are a calmer person. Ten is old enough to explain to your daughter why you're being so shouty, I bet she'll understand. And I bet she'd agree it's better than the alternatives of what smoking might end up doing to her mum.

    'I just think is it worth it? I know it is if eventually I can get through it and never smoke again but will that happen?'

    YES. YES YES YES YES YES. IT IS AND IT WILL!!!!

    A year or so ago I thought I was so dependent on smoking - that it was such a part of who I was - that I would never ever stop missing it, even if I managed to stay off the fags, which I thought was doubtful. Well I'm here to tell you it took a while but I had a change of heart. I kept on choosing not to smoke, one day at a time, and gradually my subconscious caught up with my conscious and my whole attitude changed. I can do everything I used to do. I can face any situation. And I wouldn't smoke again for anything. Not for anything. You can and you will get there too!!!

    So chin up Mazzy. Think positive. You're doing a great thing here. The freedom is worth it, really it is. Keep posting here, you'll get loads of support.

    And I'll see you in the penthouse in a few months :D

    Helen

  • god that really WAS a long post. that's what comes of having an 80wpm typing speed. Sorry!

  • god that really WAS a long post. that's what comes of having an 80wpm typing speed. Sorry!

    lol but a great reply .......we are all here to help and support you.....and we know exactly what you are going through :eek:

    Hop aboard.......:)

  • god that really WAS a long post.

    Long but excellent - nice one

    Does seem really hard to believe when starting out but for me your post spot on.

    Good luck mazzycat

  • I'd try the easyway method too if I was you. All else has failed, right? So try something new. You don't have to put out that final one til the end of the book :)

  • Thanx everyone, when I read all of your replies it lifted my spirits and made me want to cry (in a good way) though that may be more to do with the emotions running high through nicotine withdrawal lol. Really appreciate the warm support from you all. It is my day 3 and am at my moms which I come to once a week for dinner, there are six people that live here and they ALL smoke! So I think I'm doing incredibly well not to so far. I'm going to try pilates for the first time tonight, think it would be good for me to start going to some clubs/classes to help keep me occupied and not pull my hair out. Would like to try salsa at some point, used to go to zumba which is fun so might start that again when my chest is a bit better. For the last few months I have been feeling so tired and drained of energy every day that I honestly thought there may be something wrong with me but since yesterday I have felt slightly more energetic already and I love it! I'm not quite bouncing off the walls or wanting to go the gym for a good session but it's a heck of a lot better than wanting to go to bed or drop down from exhaustion every day after work. It's amazing what a difference only a couple of days can make to how you feel. Though I'm not getting my hopes up because I have been here many a time before and am just taking it one day at a time. Sorry about the essay folks, I too am a fast touch typer so it hardly takes anytime and I actually really enjoy typing too (sad, yawn) I know lol, I love my wine as I love the taste and the relaxed feeling it gives me, but am managing to stay away from it so far (though it's only been three days lol) I had my dinner yesterday and then ended up having two packs of crisps with humous yum lol xxxxxxx

  • For the last few months I have been feeling so tired and drained of energy every day that I honestly thought there may be something wrong with me but since yesterday I have felt slightly more energetic already and I love it!

    This totally rings true with me, Ive been exactly the same for months now and thought there was something up with me too! But i guess deep down i knew smoking played a big part, so its great to know a few days in, that you're feeling slightly less tired already. Im on day 2 so heres hoping i'll be leaping out of bed tomorrow morning!!

    Ive managed to stop for a week (several times) and i do feel loads better, god knows why i always go back to smoking!!! :mad:

    Stick with it Mazzycat!

  • Mazzy,

    You're doing great!

    The tired feeling is a good thing, your body is adjusting and leveling out. Take lots of B and D Vitamins and alot of water :)

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