im at a loss and need help please

my whole family have fallen out all because ive got ocd about housework instead of smoking??? hubby doesnt get it as doesnt smoke and never had to give up, twice i have walked out this evening to get smokes and still sat here in boots thinking about going petrol station.

am i being selfish by saying fook you all i have it harder as giving up or am i using it as an excuse?

thing is i can see im being a little selfish but they are not and that just makes me think fook you then i will smoke and then i wont give a shit.

my head hurts and ive got face ache from crying my son is in tears cause he wanted to go to nottingham to see hubby's family tomorrow but i have shoved £20 at hubby and told him to train it cause dont see why i should drive, see selfish as only driver.

just so you know hubby not father to my children. so he may not take child who is upset.

it would be nice to know if there is any of us quitters left as everytime i come on here i seem to see oops i need to start again etc etc

sorry for rant but need help good or kick up butt please

jen xx

4 Replies

  • Hi jenny

    I do understand where you are coming from, sometimes life is hard enough without having to give up fags as well!! Hubby's and kids don't understand what we are going through and we wonder sometimes why are we putting ourselves through extra stress by quitting on top of everything else. I probably think 5 times a day oh sod this I'll just smoke it's easier, but when I calm down and think about it I really don't want to smoke, I just want to feel less stressed about life in general and if I was smoking it takes away the stress of quitting. Problem is all the other stuff is still there, I would have a fag and start stressing about something else anyway. Sounds like you might need a bit of time to yourself to at least gather your thoughts and think about why you want/need to quit. Don't let other people push you over the edge, it's not fair when you have put so much effort in to get this far. Take a few breaths, maybe have a nice warm bath and 10 minutes to yourself, see if you can get by till tomorrow morning and see how you feel then hunny, I'll check back in and see how you are in a little while xx

  • Hi Jenni I am not sure how I can help or even if anyone can, yes when it comes to your son and how upset he is then you need to ask yourself if how you are behaving is fine, if you think it is then that’s ok, if you think you are being selfish then you are, simple as that.

    I have been quit 2 years now as you will see from my posts and I didn’t have to say oops once thank goodness, but it was never easy and it want be for you either but you do have to except your actions as your own no one else’s.

    Christmas is a crap time for quitting and I know that well but the worst is over and you will start to feel better very soon, plenty of fresh air and water and a good rant on here will help.

    PS as the only driver thats not a fair way to get your own back and £20 want get you far on the train either :D

  • Hi Jen

    Wise words from Pip there. This is a terrible time for so many of us - emotions and tempers are frayed, and believe it or not it was like that even when we SMOKED! Quitting just adds another - sometimes almost unbearable - level of stress and tension ... but lighting a cigarette won't help anybody (least of all you, however much that nicodemon might be trying to persuade you otherwise) or anything...

    Hope it helps to know you are definitely not alone - and things WILL look different in the morning.

    Hang on in there Jen


  • Hiya Jenni sorry chuck.....but deep down you will know if you think you're being unreasonable or not. If you think you're throwing the toys out of the pram, stop using life stresses as an excuse to smoke. This could be the old nico demon messing with your mind and creating arguments with your nearest and dearest in order for you to buy and smoke some cigarettes.

    If you genuinely think that your family is being need to calm down and think exactly what has pissed you off and try and talk reasonably about it with your hubby. Concerning the driving, if it were me I'd take your son to Nottingham but then use the 20 quid to give to your hubby and book some driving lessons for him. Being the only driver is tiresome and husband was for many years and it really helps that I can drive now. Hope this helps Jennifluff...we all have bad days and we're going through the same as you. Just remember that...I'm starting to go through a tetchy phase myself recently. You're not on your own...and you're doing well.

    Lisa x

You may also like...