One week and ebbs and flows

Well reached a week and cant believe it ! I am still taking ages to get to sleep but when I nod off I dont wake up ,which is good . However due to the extended holiday weekend I am still prolonging getting up early . I could easily get up at 9.ooam when I wake but I am not at the stage of 'seize the day' ! However I decided to exert more physical affort today and may get to sleep quicker tonight . I have been kind of scared to keeping too busy as I remember years ago when I tried to stop ,I dambbusted everything in the house and I was back on the cigs after a few days - the old triggers of reward via a cig . was so strong . However today I managed to clean out a very cluttered cupboard and actually forgot about the dullcraving ache . I was annoyed when it came back as I just realised I had no thought or feeling for a while . That was refreshing as I thought , this must be what it will be like in the future . You can just forget you ever smoked ! Or am I living in la la land ?? I think the dual edged sword about the cravingss that you feel so good and your breath is fresh and when you used to have moments like that for example after going to the baths .The first thing you wanted was a ciggie . I can actually hear myself saying gosh a ciggie would taste great when I am feeling like this now . THEN !!! I quickly do a reality check and say to myself 'when was the last time you ever felt this good when you were smoking '. 'If you have one ,you will have 30 ! I will destroy this feeling of being alive which I have not felt since I was very young . I also noticed my back is not sore anymore !! I am still popping the nicotine losenges and gum and then go onto juicy fruit chewing gum . I hope this is okay or am I prolonging things by doing this ??? Tangerines are good also. I heard liquorice is good as there is a magic ingredient which helps the cravings .So I bought 5 packets !!


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