So, I had a few fags on a heavy night and smoked a few more during recovery the next day. However, since then I tried to pride myself that I hadn't bought any more fags...I was just smoking other peoples on a infrequent basis :rolleyes: like that somehow made it o.k.
Last weekend the hubby went away, sinking under the weight of kids and an ill Mum I bought some fags, paid my friends back and proceeded to chuff away for the rest of the week.
As some of you might know one of the main reasons I quit was my lungs and the fact they weren't functioning properly, well just to confirm it to myself after not using my pumps for the whole of my last quit I'm now sucking on them inbetween fags like my life depends on it...which it possibly does.
I have to accept that after 20+ years of smoking, many of those of the filterless variety during my 'alternative years' I just can't get away with it anymore. I knew that, but now I definitely do know that.
I'm struggling to do the school run, I can't talk and go up the stairs at the same time and frequently this week I've done exactly that only for the person on the other end of the phone to ask if I'm o.k.
Silly, silly me.
Anyway, Monday is the day and I'm feeling o.k about it. I know what to expect, I'm taking my muti-vits and and B vitamins (they are turning my P luminous orange :eek:). Although having a dream last night that I was on Champix again this time it'll be CT because I know I can do it - if that makes sense. I know I'll be a bit wobbly for three days, I know that sometimes my motivation and energy levels get a bit screwy so I'm planning for that.
(Also got a Whitch stick and Germolene for the innevitable spots)
My only concern is the amount of time I'm going to be spending with my extended family as they all smoke - I'm just going to have to deal with it I suppose.
I'm also going to up my exercise as I'm desperate to get going but actually can't do it since I smoked as my lungs can't take it - so I'm looking forward to that. I'm going to go to Aqua-aerobics as that has me in hysterical laughter (Turn around!! She shouts - o.k just give me half an hour while I try and do it hahahaha), especially the deep water one.
O.k - so Monday's the day and I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me, I would say luck but that has nothing to do with it, a good quit.
Cheers folks
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I totally sympathise with the lung thing. Stairs?? I hate the buggers but only because I have let my lungs get in a mess due to my own stupidity and not staying on a quit.
Tomorrow is my quit day so will be right there with you
Thanks Pol, scary is right. And cheers for the wishes. There are more reasons to stop than there are to continue...in fact I can't think of one reason to continue..at all. Silly me. My poor, poor lungs. I they could scream in agony I think they would. Well, they kind of are but it's more of a wheeze, bubble, crackle, whistle type scream.
Gaynor, I'm going to have a think about it, but what am I waiting for?? Might join you tomorrow too, Mothers day gift to myself. I'm going to ask them for cross stitch gifts because I can get way involved in that and lose hours doing it!!
Hmmm, maybe tomorrows the day... I'll be back to you on that one.
Looper... have you got one of those little lung function meter thingies? If not you can buy them from the chemist. You should do a test before your quit and every day thereafter. I bet it would help motivate you through hell week.
You can take this lapse and learn from it, I know you will.
Hi Helen - do you know what? I would be too frightened to know!!
I'll have a look, I'm on first name terms with my Mums pharmacist now and she's pretty good, I'll ask her about one. It would be good to know, although scary. It would be lovely to see my lungs getting better. It's a good idea.
Bless, 'em. They've really taken a hammering over the last week and have let me know too. Gaynor - for the sake of our lungs and our pockets we will do this.
Thanks xx
Good for you Looper and Gaynor, theres a lot of people here who really want to see you do this.......especially me!!!
Aww thanks for asking! They're settling in really well although we are working on our recall skills!
They change and gain more and more confidence on a daily basis. Jake, who is HUGE has decided that he's a lapdog today :eek:
Will be watching for your posts and willing you on!
Awwww, I am glad they are settling in so well. I truly envy you. Lapdog??? Lol, even funnier the bigger they are. I had a cavalier king charles spaniel for 11 years. She died 12 years ago & still miss her dearly. One day I will be able to have another dog I hope.
Enjoy them, I am sure you will.
Thanks for the quit support, I am sure I will need it lol.
Sorry I haven't been around in the last couple of days. It's great that you're both trying again. I hope this is the quit for you both. I'll keep checking in the next few days and should be around if you want to pm me. You both were/are greatly supportive of me in my quit, and I'd like to be the same for you. It's a shame things didn't work out before, but hey-ho, onwards and upwards, these things happen. At least you've both jumped back on the wagon now.
Oh, and Happy Mother's Day to both of you.....hope you both get spoilt rotten xx
Dale, Sarah, Rachel and Jo - thanks so much for the wishes. It means so much that people are there. Hehe, I've just been given a ton of cross stitch to be getting on with so that should be fun. It's quite addictive...
Rachel, bit of a funny Mothers day, eh? My Mum got the official diagnosis on Friday, it's mixed Alzheimers and Vascular Dementia, although she is being looked at for Dementia with Lewy bodies also. Although my sister and I knew, Friday was the first time anybody ever said anything to my Mum. She's falling apart, I'll see her later
How's your Mum love? PM me if you want to. Wishing you a Happy Mothers Day too and all the other Mums on here. Hope you all have a brilliant day
I'm being fairly philosophical about it and will just have to take each day as it comes.
That statement is for this moment only - I reserve the right to cry at any given later date :p.
We're just going to have to get through this, but I'm still going to quit because this is still my life and no matter how sad others are around me I still have to live my life for me and for my kids. Smoking just can't be a part of it anymore.
I'm going to work hard on differentiating between what's 'mine' and 'not mine' and try not to take on the sadness of the world if you know what I mean. Either way, making myself sick by smoking isn't going to help anyone.
OK, I was just going to post this elsewhere but thought it probably best here.
This time I'm not going to use anything. No patches, no pills, nothing. I'm not going to overthink it, I'm not going to fear it, it's just going to happen. I want it and that will be enough. I know I can do it.
Over the next week I know a crave will hit but I will breath deep, take a drink and not give it the attention it wants. I will celebrate the odd meaty cough as a part of the recovery process. I will even ride out the skin erruptions as all part and parcel of de-toxing.
Next time life goes pear shaped and all and sundry are smoking around me, in the street, in their houses, outside my back door - I won't join them. I will remember that just because everyone is doing it, it doesn't make it o.k.
Never thought about myself like this before but where smoking is concerned all I can say is BAAA AAA (always was the black sheep ;)).
Oh...and Austin, if you've got the magical hotline to the subconscious do send it on won't you, love?
Such true words and if anyone on here is having a wobble right now I hope they read your post.
Your Mother can't help what's happened to her, bless her. But we can all at least try and prevent smoking related diseases and protect our families.
You have my support and admiration.
Massive e-hug
e-hug returned. xx
Life happens, this is a part of it, can't put my own life off in the meantime though. Stress will come and go, but damage to my health and lifestyle could be permanent if I carry on.
I could kick myself for landing back here again, but I'm not going to let berrating myself get in the way either. It's just gotta be done.
Sorry to hear about your mum. You've known about this for a while though, but still , it must be doubley tough now she knows too. But I'm sure you'll just knuckle down and look after her as you have been. I'm sure she's grateful to you, and deep down you know she will be.
Thanks for asking about my mum. She came out of hospital just over a week ago, with no real diagnosis. Could be cancer, could be benign, they can't tell :confused: Even after 2 weeks in hospital, under the best consultant in his field in the country and 3 biopsies, they still have no idea. She came over for lunch today and ate less than a small child would. Then she fell asleep for a couple of hours before we took her home. 4 weeks ago she was as strong as an ox, now she is a frail old lady, tired and in pain.
I know that my mum's proud that I've stopped smoking. I'm sure your mum would be of you too. But do it for yourself and the kids. They deserve to have us around for as long as possible. I know my mum didn't smoke, but that still could be me in a few years time not knowing if I had something incurable. As I can do something about it before it's too late, I choose not to smoke.
Take care, and good luck with your cross stitch (I got a bunch of flowers but only after I stropped that they hadn't remembered)
Good for you Looper and Gaynor, theres a lot of people here who really want to see you do this.......especially me!!!
Cor John - look at your sig *jealous* What was that? Four months and twenty something days? Very well done to you John - trying not to kick myself when saying that but...very well done
Best wishes for this spin of the wheel of fortune...although you won't need that because you've got a lot of information readily at hand and experienced by you...you know it makes sense
The fact that you are so quickly getting back into the saddle can only be to your advantage :cool:
Best wishes for this spin of the wheel of fortune...although you won't need that because you've got a lot of information readily at hand and experienced by you...you know it makes sense
The fact that you are so quickly getting back into the saddle can only be to your advantage :cool:
Keep on keepin' on,
Cav
Thanks Cav, feeling grumpy, bit lightheaded, trying to not be too irrational whilst holding on to the fact that I do have a point, if you know what I mean? The minute someone knows you're day one of a quit suddenly everything you say is nonsense because you are quitting. They aren't the ar$e here it's all because I'm quitting. How did that happen then? :mad:. So I'm trying to be reasonable and not punch people too much.
The minute someone knows you're day one of a quit suddenly everything you say is nonsense because you are quitting. They aren't the ar$e here it's all because I'm quitting. How did that happen then? :mad:. So I'm trying to be reasonable and not punch people too much.
Totally get you...the amount of trial quits I had and the amount of knobs that appeared out of the woodwork on my many day 1s...well, I'm only here and not in prison by the grace of Cod :\
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Sorry to hear about the restart but importantly, your restarting ... sounds like your lungs will be bloody glad of it too.
I chose tomorrow as I flatly refuse to part with another £6 to kill myself :eek:
Making it Day 1 tomorrow
Tomorrow I start day 1, so excited!!
