So, I had a few fags on a heavy night and smoked a few more during recovery the next day. However, since then I tried to pride myself that I hadn't bought any more fags...I was just smoking other peoples on a infrequent basis :rolleyes: like that somehow made it o.k.
Last weekend the hubby went away, sinking under the weight of kids and an ill Mum I bought some fags, paid my friends back and proceeded to chuff away for the rest of the week.
As some of you might know one of the main reasons I quit was my lungs and the fact they weren't functioning properly, well just to confirm it to myself after not using my pumps for the whole of my last quit I'm now sucking on them inbetween fags like my life depends on it...which it possibly does.
I have to accept that after 20+ years of smoking, many of those of the filterless variety during my 'alternative years' I just can't get away with it anymore. I knew that, but now I definitely do know that.
I'm struggling to do the school run, I can't talk and go up the stairs at the same time and frequently this week I've done exactly that only for the person on the other end of the phone to ask if I'm o.k.
Silly, silly me.
Anyway, Monday is the day and I'm feeling o.k about it. I know what to expect, I'm taking my muti-vits and and B vitamins (they are turning my P luminous orange :eek:). Although having a dream last night that I was on Champix again this time it'll be CT because I know I can do it - if that makes sense. I know I'll be a bit wobbly for three days, I know that sometimes my motivation and energy levels get a bit screwy so I'm planning for that.
(Also got a Whitch stick and Germolene for the innevitable spots)
My only concern is the amount of time I'm going to be spending with my extended family as they all smoke - I'm just going to have to deal with it I suppose.
I'm also going to up my exercise as I'm desperate to get going but actually can't do it since I smoked as my lungs can't take it - so I'm looking forward to that. I'm going to go to Aqua-aerobics as that has me in hysterical laughter (Turn around!! She shouts - o.k just give me half an hour while I try and do it hahahaha), especially the deep water one.
O.k - so Monday's the day and I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me, I would say luck but that has nothing to do with it, a good quit.