Good afternoon all,
Well today i went down to my parents house and for the first time ever i was able to explain to my Mum who constantly has a go at my Dad for his smoking how it feels to be a smoker in the terms of the addiction to nicotine and the little nicomonster forcing us to feed him even when we dont want too. She understood that and i think now she realises that it is not as easy to just stop as she used to think it was.
I also had a chat with my dad who thought like many that smoking is a habit that yes habit is part of it but its also a very big part the need for the NICOTINE FILL.
I can honestly say now i have turned a corner and i know that as long as i live that i wont be going back to smoking infact i cant even remember what it was like before and it does not appeal to me at all to go back to the old ways but if i can help anyone else then i wont hesitate to do so. It was my parents who asked and i obliged and as i have just said it felt good to be able to explain the truth about those cancer sticks, its also felt good to be able to say to my Mum dont have a go at him because he wants to stop but Mr Nic wants feeding and for Dad Mr Nic is stronger at the moment and so Dad keeps giving in to Mr Nics needs but she should understand that he has to want to stop for the right reasons and if he understands that its an addiction then hopefully he will want to stop and stop for good. He is not as armed as what we have been and so i want to be able to help him and others if i can.
I have not dictated to anyone and i would not do so at all. I understand now what makes us smoke and how hard it is to be able to break free and by passing on that knowledge, if i can help just one person then i will be so happy. I have been a nonsmoker for over 8 weeks and if im honest i feel now that i have never smoked in my life, i can see past the addiction, past the being lured in, past the need to have to smoke and i am so happy that i am now in more ways a better person.
Im free at last and i am just so happy. I wish i could have stopped years ago and had i known then what i know now i probably would have. I dont envy others who smoke, in a way i am sad for them, i want to be able to tell them there is a new life outside the smoking lark but like anything we all have to do what is right for us and when were ready. No one wants to be told what to do and so until such time that i am asked for my advice on how i quit then i will just sit back and forget my old nasty past.
I am here for anyone who asks and would be more than happy to offer but i am not going to dictate to others about there habit, its each to there own and if someone wants advice they no doubt will ask. I can handle being around smokers now and not feel the need to have one all i feel is pity, sadness and a little chuckle of laughter as i know im free and they are not.
Its also so nice to be able to eat and taste my food, go out without having to pack my cigs and lighter in my bag, not panic about how many cigs i have left as i dont want to run out, its nice not to have to go out when its cold, wet and windy just so that i can feed nasty Nic, its nice to be FREE from the restraints that smoking makes of you. I can breathe now, i can walk faster and not get out of breath, its great to be how i was before i started. I can get through my daily life without thinking about them now, i have not wanted or thought of them for weeks, so i cant honestly say now that i am.................
Im not letting my guard down though as Nasty Nic will always try and get back in but im stronger than him and this time i know my stopping is for GOOD.