A Journey from hell to health and freedom

It is unbelievable that I have made a year smoke free yippeeeeeee…….

A year ago I thought there would be no way I could ever give up my best mate , my Rizla tin . It was glued to my hip and went everywhere with me and I was totally lost without it. I was totally addicted and had smoked for 40 years, whats more I enjoyed it, (or so I thought).

My quit started in 2009 when I was diagnosed with Bladder Cancer, an awful shock as I had been really healthy until then. I was back in having an op to remove a tumour within 7 days and was told to quit smoking. Well I tried and failed a couple of times , but the stress got to me especially when my Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer a month later ( a lifetime pipe smoker). He had a tumour removed, and his consultant shocked me into quitting when he described the disgusting state of his lungs, something I will never forget.

So on October 29th I decided I had to quit, so I did, cold turkey for a month and then an inhalator when times got tough and I joined the “Octoquits”, on this forum. It was an absolute nightmare, my poor husband saw me turn into the witch from hell, moody, belligerent ,tearful, unhappy. I think I went through every emotion there is in my first few months, and I ate for 3 people and drank for them as well.

Quitting is really hard, as anyone reading this will know. Some seem to get through without too many problems, others really suffer. Personally I think it may be down too whether you have an addictive personality or not, I certainly have.

The weeks ticked by though, and I just kept saying “another day”, then “another week”, then “another month”, and whoooaaaa where did 12 months go. At this point I must send an enormous THANK YOU to all at OCTOQUITS for their constant support, humour, bullying, drunken evenings on the net, you are all great.

They say things get worse before they get better, well my story did, I had a second op last year, and then some fairly awful tests and days in hospital, but it was great to see my consultant each time ,I went still not smoking. I was beginning to feel really proud of myself. Then in February this year I got viral Bronchitis which left me with a post viral sort of ME and I felt really rough for weeks and nearly gave in several times.

BUT…… at last I feel great !!!!! I smell great, my house and car smell of lovely perfumes and candles, my clothes never smell nor my breath. I happily sit inside cafes, pubs and restaurants watching those poor smokers go outside in the wind and rain for their next kick. I am still overweight but at long last it`s starting to shift, slow, but a small loss each week, and the best news of all is that my consultant doesn’t want to see me for a year as my last 2 checks have been clear. If I had carried on smoking I might have lost my bladder by now, how scary is that.

So the moral of my story is, stick with your quit however hard it gets. It is worth it believe me, the tears and tantrums soon disappear into a wonderful feeling of self worth, achievement. and freedom from the weed.

Very special thanks to Mike, Dad, and Morag, for sticking with me during my journey to hell and back, and Pol, Lorna , Cav and Sal for their constant help and good advice, I love you all.

Dee xx

52 Replies


    I have been standing here waiting for you since 7am this morning......:rolleyes:

    Dee my lovely, your post says it all and if anyone is waivering they should read your story. You are a complete inspiration to me and I have admired your guts through one hell of a year and a quit.

    You scared me and cajolled me in equal measures and I have always known that if you could keep going then all my quit issues were little ones in comparison. Mum having part of her lung removed and her diagnosis of lung cancer last month shook me to the core but again you were here with kind words of empathy and support and I send you huge hugs for that especially Dee.

    So enter the Penthouse with huge pride Dee (I'm greetin now and that does not happen often) :o

    We kept you the master suite, fit for the lady you are. :)

    Lots and lots and lots of love to you xxxxxxx

  • Lorna my darlin, can`t say much this end as laptop awash and hankies everywhere,thank you. Going out to lunch to celebrate and blast the diet today.

    Dee xxxxxx:)

  • WAY TO GO DEE!!!

    Just a quick post as I'm naughtily sneaking onto the internet when I should be working, but it's so brilliant to hear that you finally feel great after such a tough year!

    (And I've never met anyone who's REALLY sailed through a quit - anyone that says they have is either blocking out the memory or lying! ;) )

  • Dee, I'll bet my keyboard and desk is more awash than yours :o

    Huge massive hugs and congrats to you darlin' :cool:

    One large of Red to be raised in your honour, and then more!

    We all deserve to quit, but some fight and suffer more to quit. Your journey was one of the hardest in oh so many ways:)

    You really did go through the mill, the wringer and went to hell and back.

    But ..... here you are .....THE PENTHOUSE


    Thank you Dee, for being such an inspiration to me and many others.

    You gave meaning, real meaning to the value of quitting.

    Enjoy your lunch and drink .............. (what diet:p )

    Love Pol


  • Ok......its officially a wet keyboard competition

    Ladies....that is a sign of our ages....:D:D


  • Our ages ? :eek:

    Just tears Lorna, just tears ..... :p

    No hankies, only bog roll. Not impregnated, so rough on the skin.

  • Our ages ? :eek:

    Just tears Lorna, just tears ..... :p

    No hankies, only bog roll. Not impregnated, so rough on the skin.

    at least you have bog roll....back of my hand here.....lol

    joke was....wet keyboard/wet tshirt....but sign of your age I had to explain......:p:p

  • Ha ha :p ..... *rolls back the years*

    Now go wash your hands and bring back some bog roll.

  • Truly an inspirational post to anyone sat wondering if they should, could or can quit smoking. You've pretty much turned your life around with this exceptional quit, in all the ways you can see and feel, and also in ways you cannot even begin to quantify.

    Congratulations to you and indeed all of your fellow octoquitters of '09 who livened up the forums with your banter, tears and cheers :).

    Quitting smoking is, and will always be the right choice to make.

    Well done one and all.


  • A huge well done to you:D

    all those hurdles and you still did :D


  • Congrats Dee, so glad to see you in the penthouse. I know yours has been one of the tough quits (not that any are easy0, but you did it - and have the courage to tell everyone about it.

    So really well done you - you are one strong lady

  • Great big Well Done, you have worked so hard you deserve your special day. I remember the story of when you buried your tin on Dartmoor and now here you are healthy and smelling beautiful.


  • Dee a huge well done to you

    You have done so well. And as others have said you have been an inspiration - you battled your way through and come out the other side. Many of us know you found quitting particullalry tough but you stuck with it. That shows such enormous strength of character and a lot of willpower.

    Congratulations and enjoy your special day.

    Luv & hugs

    Tinks xx


    you are a inspiration to us! I'm happy you are feeling better and wish you nothing but the best!!!!!


    Oct 17, 2010 6:30pm CT

  • Thanks All for lovely posts, keyboard is awash again after reading Pols post and Lornas again, gulp, you two are so great I really could not have got through this without you two.

    So I am raising a big glass of Red, (yes I know its early but.......) too all the mad Octos that have made it through a really hard year, thanks guys.

    Lovely to hear from you Jackie and thanks I know you appreciate how I feel.

    Dave, thanks mate for your words and company, its appresiated.

    Michelle and Snow, keep with the quit, you will be so pleased if you do. Lastly Tinks, I so wish you were here with me today but really pleased you have kept going this time, you are doing so well I am proud of you.

    Have to go now as keyboard has just disappeared under the tissue mountain.

    Dee x:o

  • Hi Dee, sorry for the lateness of my post but have been out all day in Nottingham shopping, sorry babe didn’t get you a pressy.

    As you know me and thee have only just hooked up as forum friends, but reading your years post has also filled me up with tears, I didn’t know the half of it and I feel so proud to now be counted as one of your friends.

    Your quit is all the better for being forced on you, to me that shows your strength and durability, it’s hard enough when you make a conscious decision to quit, that’s a choice made with free will, whereas you were not given a choice you were forced and that to me seems ten times harder to achieve than a total quit based on your own options.

    Every day you have spent quit is brilliant and here you are 12 full Months Smoke Free and living life to the full, I raise my glass to you and make a toast, may we continue to be forum friends, and when we both celebrate our 58th. Birthday Next year I pray we are both healthy and smoke free still (of course we will)

    You take care babe and speak later.

  • Bloody brilliant Dee you've been through it a bit mate, you're still here for others though. I hope some "Guests" read that post, may give them the little nudge they need. Well done. David. x

  • I hope some "Guests" read that post, may give them the little nudge they need.

    I'll second that :cool:

    Excellent to see you at this stage....excellent to see you at any stage tbh. You'll remember seeing this before....a beauty for a beauty :)

  • Oh Cav and Dav, you`ve done it again, more tissues and laptop wet again !!!

    Thanks guys, for your words.

    Cav, an extra word for an extra mate, thank you, for being patient and your great advice many times in the last year.

    Jam, shopping !!!! Of course we will be here together next Jan/Feb, only you and I could stop that and we are strong, aren`t we.......

    Dee xx:D

  • Dee ......

    Put your wine down and kick your shoes off girl .....

    Bad Moon Rising

  • Lorna, stop throwing up in the bucket ..... put your wine down, now :p

  • Lorna, stop throwing up in the bucket ..... put your wine down, now :p

    OK I'm dancing, badly, as I have poorly legs......

    That reminds me of American Werewolf in London......:D

  • Oh great Pol, I love that one, in return :

    that one

    Love the red bucket;)

  • Moon theme going

    Guilty Pleasure.....probably had enough wine then...:eek:

  • Pol can you find one for Lorna and I swollen legs and ankles or something ??????

  • Almost legs and ankles just higher

    OK OK OK ....my coat is on Pol....:D:D

  • A nice slow moving one for ankles and leg oldies. Sit down and nod ... but not nod off :p

    Lorna?!?! too much wine, honestly your music taste does leaves no room for desire :p Pass me the bucket woman.


  • The Bucket

    ..............and I will close the door behind me...:D:D:D

  • wish you could hear my giggles at you two, so glad you are partying with me, OH gone to bed along with both cats so its just me this end and two mad females the other :confused:

  • Here ........... you better put the bucket on your head too :D

    Laughing Gnome

  • and another

    just popped back to get my wine glass.....:D;);)

  • personal favourite


  • love it.......:D

  • Red, red and more red - the story of the Octo's ... well, some of us :p

    Good one Dee..... that was put up on an Octo roll call some time back.

    Memories...... Laura, some trawls of old threads should re-surface as some point too.

  • Congratulations Dee, you really inspired me in my early days ! enjoy the party hic


    weight is pesky though !

  • Ducks, lovely to see you. Your getting the lard off though, well done you :cool:

  • Dee looking great in PJ`s and rockin round the lounge lol;)

  • Dummies and Medals

    brings back memories Dee........:D

  • Hi Louise, lovely to see you, thanks for post.

    We / me is not mentioning weight tonight, tis awful but not today lol


  • Burn a bit with pj's dancing around to this ..... an Irish jig should do just fine ...

    Seth - Lady Of The Sea

  • OMG that did bring back more than a few memories, need another glass now................:D

  • Have heart failure now after doing that Irish Jig Pol made me do, am all giddy, need to sit down a mo.:confused:

  • You sit down, I'm ging for a refill ..... what can I get you Dee?

  • Sorry Pol, have to go to bed am kn.............d, and cannot keep up with you things, have tried though.

    Thanks for a great party, enjoyed it loads.


  • Didn't get you one anyway ..... out of wine and on the cider :p

    I know your not but we'll pretend your too lady like for a can ;)

    Its been an honour to share your One Year on line celebration Dee :cool:

    Sleep well ...... and put your ankles up :p

    Pol xx

  • Night Dee.....glad you enjoyed your day and tomorrow is the first day of year 2....:D

  • Dee sorry for the late post.

    Reading through these posts this morning shows what a strong group the Octos are and especially you DEE. Its a fantastic acheivement given your your trials and tribulations over the last year and you should be very proud of yourself and your acheivements.

    October is drawing to a close and it is fantastic to see so many of us still around a year after this journey began . Lets hope that in a years time we can all celebrate another year down.

    WELL DONE DEE !!!!


  • You lot are crazy lol :D

    Congratulations Dee and well done on the health front, long may it last :)

  • Hi Dee, Sorry I'm late but a massive well done to you. You are one of the strongest people on this forum and an inspriation to all. Anyone starting out should read every word you've written in the past year. It's a wonderful inspiration to how to keep strong and keep going.

    I'm so very happy for you

    Sue xxx

  • Hi Sue

    Lovely to hear from you and thanks for your kind words, you are just about to enter 13 months, wow.

    Dee x;)

  • Only just seen this Dee and must admit your post brought a tear to my eye!!! I think I had the same suffering as you...I definitely have an addictive personality too. I always go overboard with anything I love....chocolate, drink, you name it. I don't actually drink anymore because of it!!!!

    So, sooooo pleased to read that you're feeling so much better now....fingers crossed it continues for you! You are an inspiration for anyone wanting to quit!!! xxx

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