It is unbelievable that I have made a year smoke free yippeeeeeee…….
A year ago I thought there would be no way I could ever give up my best mate , my Rizla tin . It was glued to my hip and went everywhere with me and I was totally lost without it. I was totally addicted and had smoked for 40 years, whats more I enjoyed it, (or so I thought).
My quit started in 2009 when I was diagnosed with Bladder Cancer, an awful shock as I had been really healthy until then. I was back in having an op to remove a tumour within 7 days and was told to quit smoking. Well I tried and failed a couple of times , but the stress got to me especially when my Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer a month later ( a lifetime pipe smoker). He had a tumour removed, and his consultant shocked me into quitting when he described the disgusting state of his lungs, something I will never forget.
So on October 29th I decided I had to quit, so I did, cold turkey for a month and then an inhalator when times got tough and I joined the “Octoquits”, on this forum. It was an absolute nightmare, my poor husband saw me turn into the witch from hell, moody, belligerent ,tearful, unhappy. I think I went through every emotion there is in my first few months, and I ate for 3 people and drank for them as well.
Quitting is really hard, as anyone reading this will know. Some seem to get through without too many problems, others really suffer. Personally I think it may be down too whether you have an addictive personality or not, I certainly have.
The weeks ticked by though, and I just kept saying “another day”, then “another week”, then “another month”, and whoooaaaa where did 12 months go. At this point I must send an enormous THANK YOU to all at OCTOQUITS for their constant support, humour, bullying, drunken evenings on the net, you are all great.
They say things get worse before they get better, well my story did, I had a second op last year, and then some fairly awful tests and days in hospital, but it was great to see my consultant each time ,I went still not smoking. I was beginning to feel really proud of myself. Then in February this year I got viral Bronchitis which left me with a post viral sort of ME and I felt really rough for weeks and nearly gave in several times.
BUT…… at last I feel great !!!!! I smell great, my house and car smell of lovely perfumes and candles, my clothes never smell nor my breath. I happily sit inside cafes, pubs and restaurants watching those poor smokers go outside in the wind and rain for their next kick. I am still overweight but at long last it`s starting to shift, slow, but a small loss each week, and the best news of all is that my consultant doesn’t want to see me for a year as my last 2 checks have been clear. If I had carried on smoking I might have lost my bladder by now, how scary is that.
So the moral of my story is, stick with your quit however hard it gets. It is worth it believe me, the tears and tantrums soon disappear into a wonderful feeling of self worth, achievement. and freedom from the weed.
Very special thanks to Mike, Dad, and Morag, for sticking with me during my journey to hell and back, and Pol, Lorna , Cav and Sal for their constant help and good advice, I love you all.