Fed up

Hi all,

I thought I would share my story, as today I think I really need some support.

I have been quit for 1 Week, 2 Days, 15 hours, 32 minutes and 19 seconds (9 days). I have saved £52.09 by not smoking 192 cigarettes. I have saved 16 hours of my life. My Quit Date: 20/06/2010 20:20

But that is not the whole story.

On day 5, My OH, who was not stopped at this point, left some cigs in the kitchen, even though I asked him not to even let me know he was smoking, I caved. I then had some drinks and smoked some more. Luckily on day 6 I felt so ill I could not even contemplate eating, far less smoking.

That was me until yesterday, when I caved again and went and bought 10, I smoked 3 and then crushed the smokes and I am on the wagon again today. I just feel awful. I don’t want to smoke at all but every 3-4 days I seem to cave in and have some. I manage the physical aspects of withdrawal fine, it is after that when it becomes mental I just give in.

I have stopped twice before, in each case for around a year and am so upset with myself for not getting past the 2 week stage, in fact I am not even getting past the 1 week stage at the moment. Each time I have stopped it has been CT, I cannot even manage a day when I use NRT. I have read Allen Carr, and I use the NTAP book as a bible.

This time I am determined to make it further and stop for good.

9 Replies

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  • Hi all,

    I thought I would share my story, as today I think I really need some support.

    I have been quit for 1 Week, 2 Days, 15 hours, 32 minutes and 19 seconds (9 days). I have saved £52.09 by not smoking 192 cigarettes. I have saved 16 hours of my life. My Quit Date: 20/06/2010 20:20

    But that is not the whole story.

    On day 5, My OH, who was not stopped at this point, left some cigs in the kitchen, even though I asked him not to even let me know he was smoking, I caved. I then had some drinks and smoked some more. Luckily on day 6 I felt so ill I could not even contemplate eating, far less smoking.

    That was me until yesterday, when I caved again and went and bought 10, I smoked 3 and then crushed the smokes and I am on the wagon again today. I just feel awful. I don’t want to smoke at all but every 3-4 days I seem to cave in and have some. I manage the physical aspects of withdrawal fine, it is after that when it becomes mental I just give in.

    I have stopped twice before, in each case for around a year and am so upset with myself for not getting past the 2 week stage, in fact I am not even getting past the 1 week stage at the moment. Each time I have stopped it has been CT, I cannot even manage a day when I use NRT. I have read Allen Carr, and I use the NTAP book as a bible.

    This time I am determined to make it further and stop for good.

    Hi MMac

    Welcome to the forum, don't be so hard on yourself lots and lots of people have failed at their first attempt, thousands of people have failed during their second third fourth fifth attempt, the important thing is to keep trying you will get there if you show the same amount of determination you are doing now. Once you have taken the first steps and decided to try again think positive focus and relax keep telling yourself you are doing the right thing because you are, another good thing is this forum you will get lots of support and encouragement but mostly you will get advise from people in the same boat as you ...,..take time to read people signature lots of good advise in there... drink plenty keep busy and remember craves last three minutes approx so when you feel one coming on just get up and do something it will soon pass and everyday they will fade away ...hang in there be strong and determined you can do this you know it just believe it ..:)

  • Im not sure that you are weak, in fact you can do it as you have managed a year before, how about telling yourself that you will do one day and can smoke tomoz and then the same each day, it could be you are putting to much pressure on yourself and we none of us do well under pressure.

    Try the water treatment as well, see my link in sig it helped me.

    I think that with me I missd the actual habit and ritual of smoking more than the niccotine so find sometthing that can replace it like maybe a lolly or something.

    Sorry if I havent been much help feel at a bit of a loss with words today :D.

  • Yeah, I agree...it's not about weakness. Maybe just a bit of confusion about why you are struggling in comparison to previous times.

    Hopefully writing out your post has helped to clarify matters in your head giving you a better viewpoint. It does seem to happen a lot that folk put themselves under huge pressure to stop smoking. That same pressure builds up and before you know it the quit is lost because it's too much to handle - both the quit and the pressure.

    There is no doubt that there is pressure involved but possibly you could re-direct that negative energy into a more positive direction by resolving to take this day by day, by stating that no matter what happens you are determined that you shall not smoke.

    Be selfish and protect your quit. It's yours and you need to nurture it and be successful with it. Put it to the front of your list of priorities and be determined to stick with it.

    Even if you have read Allen Carr and have NTAP as a bible continue to read around and you'll find out more and more information which will be useful for you. Become an expert on stopping smoking...that's what we all are in the process of doing :)

  • Heres a link for you MMac. My problem is the junkie thinking too.

    whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Nicod...

  • two links.....

    I have this printed out, but still the social smoker one, and the just the one get me....:(

    diaryofaquitter.com/junkie.htm

  • Thankyou all,

    I feel a lot more positive about getting through the rest of today now.

    A lot of what you said I already knew somewhere, but had just forgotten or chosen to forget.

    So this afternoon:

    I upped my intake of water considerably,

    and I have read all the articles you have all suggested.

    I think the real problem is that I don't believe that I have stopped, I believe that at some point I am going to have another - this is not the same as wanting to smoke, because I really do not.

    So I have to get out of this frame of mind, believe that I can and will stop and that I will not ever have another smoke. Even if that means taking it one hour at a time.

    Onwards and upwards and tomorrow is another day.

    Thankyou for the support.

  • That’s it, you are in the same frame of mind that I get into, not every day but sometimes, I don’t want to smoke I’m just scared I will, as if some part of me will just find itself with a cig in my hand and then I will become a smoker again, eeeek I know that sound completely off the wall but I know where you are coming from, So at least you know that the mind set is not just you it is probably a lot of us.

    I am glad you said that because you have explained what I couldn’t put into words until then, thanks

  • Thankyou all,

    I feel a lot more positive about getting through the rest of today now.

    A lot of what you said I already knew somewhere, but had just forgotten or chosen to forget.

    So this afternoon:

    I upped my intake of water considerably,

    and I have read all the articles you have all suggested.

    I think the real problem is that I don't believe that I have stopped, I believe that at some point I am going to have another - this is not the same as wanting to smoke, because I really do not.

    So I have to get out of this frame of mind, believe that I can and will stop and that I will not ever have another smoke. Even if that means taking it one hour at a time.

    Onwards and upwards and tomorrow is another day.

    Thankyou for the support.

    God, this is so me at the moment.

    I feel like I'm in some stage of limbo - given up, but my mind thinks it's not forever....it's just a phase I am going through...can't quite explain it really....:eek:

  • You possibly feel it's a bit like losing your best friend, Nicki. This phase you're going through is a natural part of the process. But if you continue to take things day by day you will move past it and that part of you that is in a limbo will accept that you have stopped smoking, that smoking is harmful. You'll also see the benefits to yourself from not smoking. Your skin will clear up, your brain won't feel it's in a fog, you'll be sharper and life will be that more fun without constantly having think about feeding an addiction.

    It will pass, Nicki :)

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