It is my 17th day as a non smoker after 23 years with a few breaks in between. I would have posted earlier but I didn't want any positive reinforcement for quitting because I quite simply didn't want to talk about it. I have resigned myself to feeling sick and depressed and somehow that is working. I have been taking Champix, but from my experience with quitting cold turkey in the past, I can say that the Champix doesn't really seem to be helping the withdrawals. The first few days I felt like curling up in a ball on the floor in the fetal position. I didn't want to eat or talk on the phone, or work, or drive. After a few days the hard core cravings subsided a bit but I was left with difficult moments, when I would forget that I had quit and I would be looking for my cigarettes and then I would remember I had quit and then I would want to curl up in a ball again. I am at the point where I am feeling the positive effects of not smoking like improved breathing, teeth stains are starting to fade, sense of smell returning, not leaving a lung in the sink every morning, vehicle doesn't smell, not as preoccupied with the usual "where's my lighter, where's my smokes, do I have enough, do I have to buy some, no driving around the block an extra 5 times before I get to work to squeeze in my 7th smoke before I get to work" I have been feeling some what relaxed or something, hard to explain. I have been coughing up this black stuff though a few times a day. It just comes out of the blue and I gotta say that it is freakin my out a little bit. I think it is just a lifetime of tar and nicotine trying to get out of my lungs. Maybe thats why it is so hard to quit! I'm sure it must still be getting absorbed into the blood stream! Anyway with all the positive stuff aside, I still want to smoke my brains out! I want to be told by the doctor that I have some kind of terminal disease so I can start smoking again because it won't matter (just joking but it does rattle through my mind from time to time). I am mostly sittng at my desk or at home and just kind of day dreaming, unless there is something strong enough to grab my attention I have completely lost my focus. I am not completely part of the real world again and I feel like I am waiting for something, kind of like those few days before you go on vacation and you are useless at work. I don't intend to smoke no matter how bad it gets because I know it will take more than 1 smoke to make me feel better and I have had enough of smoking. I am going to fight these cravings to the death because I want to have a better quality of life. I don't want to die from smoking but in the back of my mind where the creatures of pleasure and habit live I can't think of one good reason for quitting. I am noticing all the 110 year old people that are still smoking as I drive around and I think to myself (if there still alive WTF). I could actually smell a cigarette, driving on the highway at 100km/hr as someone sped passed me with their arm out the window. Maybe it was just my brain playing tricks on me but just the same!! I could smell it, and believe me it smelled good. I will drop in from time to time to rant about how I feel even if knowbody reads what I have to say just so I can get a few things off my chest instead of putting smoke in my chest.