Never felt so positive!

I just thought I would share what I am feeling right now as Im feeling really positive. Maybe the next time that nic demon comes I will be able to read this post back!

I am choosing not to smoke at the moment, I know I could have one whenever I want one but I actually dont want one. Ive been watching people smoke and realised how horrible I used to look when I was smoking. people used to say I looked like I really enjoyed each fag, which I did at the time, not all of them but certain ones were my favourite. I think I looked like a wrinkly faced old fishwife trying to get the biggest drag possible, sucking my cheeks in to inhale as much smoke as I could. urgh!

I feel free at the moment, free from smoke and free from nicotine and its a great feeling, my lunchtimes were spent smoking and then trying to cover up the smell when I got back in the office. today I had a really nice walk and met up for lunch with my friend.

I now know that smoking is not going to make everything better, I used to light up at the slightest stress, celebration or for any excuse really and when I have given up before the tiniest problem has set me off smoking again. I know thats the addiction that grabs hold of you and never wants to let go.

Now that I understand that I can be strong. I can hold my own against the nic demon, I can even beat the nic demon.

I have given up smoking and dont feel any urge to smoke again. thats not to say I dont get cravings and mood swings and tears and anger, but I know that no matter how hard it gets I can do it, I can get support from here, my fab boyfriend, all the sites etc etc and I can get through it. I will always wait for responses on here when Im craving and by the time ive read, and re read the replies and websites i have the nic demon in a headlock. when Ive got my head straight i knock him down!!! the smelly jacket at my work is a constant reminder of how I used to smell and it often turns my stomach but it helps me to choose not to go back to being a smelly smoker.

3 Replies

  • Hi Sam :D :D

    So glad you are feeling really positive and like you think it's amazing how we all sucked that nasty stuff into us and said we enjoyed it arghhhhhhhhh and it's great being free as you say well done and i know you can beat that little monster you have already proved that and think we will all get emotional at times for a while yet

    Love Margxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Thats a winning attitude you have there.

    Keep it going and nothing will stand in your way!

  • Now thats more like it moog!!! you have it spot on -well done you ;)

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