This is me officially leaving the optimistic 3/4/5.
I scrounged a fag off my mate at work today. And it was absolutely bloody heaven! Then I went and bought 10, and have smoked myself literally sick since then.
The desire to quit hasn't gone completely. Smoking today has totally put me off smoking again. The last one was fookin minging!!!
Thing is that I'm finding juggling being a single dad and working hard. I'm dropping my son off at half seven in the morning, and not being able to pick him up till 6. Sometimes having to ring my mam on the way home to go and pick him up cos the traffic is so bad. I've got a major guilt thing going on there! I'm not getting to spend much quality time with the bairn, and he's getting upset about me leaving him all the time.
I'm looking for a new job closer to home. But....not many IT jobs come up outside of Newcastle anyway, and I really don't want to leave where I am (even though I could easily earn 10 grand a year more), cos I love the place where I work and the lads I work with are just the best!
Then there's another downside to that. There's not that many single dad's around, and in the IT world especially, employers expect you to work as many hours as the job needs (I've been known to work five 20 hour days in a row), so I'm also worried that I'm going to find it hard to find another job. My current employer as a company is crap at supporting staff, but i've got probably the best, and most understanding, team and department managers in the entire world.
So, the upshot is, I've got a lot on my mind and although I was doing really well, something today told me I had to have a fag. Because I enjoyed it I had to have some more! I have no intention of having any more. I've learnt my lesson, and I purposely smoked all 10 as quick as I could to teach myself a lesson! This has nowt to do with cutting down on the NRT either for any cynics out there!!!!
So, back to day 1 tomorrow. Sorry to let you down Rick and MadAngel, but sh!t happens. I wish you both the very best in your continuing quits and I hope I can count on your support through the following days.
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Quitting smoking uses alot of energy and commitment and it took many attempts for me to quit. Smoking won't solve your problems, but no point in totally stressing yourself out, eh?
At least you tried and i hope do it soon. All the best
Hey Dave im sure its is not easy being a single parent, my hubby worked away alot until very recently and sometimes i felt like a sp but with money!! lol (that is also the reason we have stayed married 19 years ;))
Im sure ur mum helps out alot but maybe she could have him one night a week so that neither of you stress about the time, he will get spoilt by his granny and you can relax a little too.
Im sure it will get easier good luck with ur quit, whenever u manage it
I don't think that the cutting back on the NRT will have made any difference, you were so much in the zone then, but it only takes a few moments of temptation to shift your perspective.
Sometimes as you say shit happens, and you have to deal with it. Juggling parenting with 2 parents around is tough let alone 1, but if you can manage that you can manage to quit smoking. Get your head in the right place and we'll see you back here when you're ready.
Good luck Dave on your next attempt,at least you were not to far into your quit and hopefully you willbeat it this time.Good luck and make sure that you really want to quit..
awwwwww dave sorry bet your gutted for ya self. good luck in your new quit u can do it i know u can. keep postin n let us knwo how ya gettin on good luck to you darl.
Awww, Dave, I keep meaning to write but get distracted
So sorry you fell off the wagon but please don't beat yourself up about it... Rick and I are still going but we've both 'failed' before, Rick did great not smoking for 4 months then a slip of a month or so and he's back on the wagon, I think I've 'given up' every weekend this year, even probably for a couple of weeks before this current quit, in fact this current quit (with a new date) was only the result of a 2 or 3 ciggerette lapse from the previous one LOL... just make sure you dont' go back to them, the worst thing is to think you've done the damage so smoking yourself stupid till the next quit date won't hurt... you'll get through it this time and a couple of accidental ciggerettes in a month is far better than 20 or 40 mindless ciggerettes every day for the rest of your life!
Dont dare call yourself teamless - we are all one big team on here and you know we will support you 100%, I fell by the wayside and smoked myself silly so what shit happens, stresses of life take it's toll. I got up this morning to a broken boiler I was so pissed of I could have licked an ashtray!
It must be hard juggling a career and children, I have none so I don't fully understand, but get your head around another quit and we will be here as before.
Gosh that reads back like I'm shouting at you!!! WELL I AM! :eek:
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