Question to our role models

the big O just got bigger

Thats just rude Boudee - she's struggled for years with her weight!!!http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/VirtualContent/85702/oprah_winfrey.jpg

I am male - but it's ok you can call me a bitch - coz I am!!!!

quite a bit of this has gone right over my head

is that because you are bald John??? :confused:

I really don't see that my baldness has anything to do with this but since you raised the subject baldness is in fact a sign of perfection ...

You see as good as the good Lord was in creating All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, all things wise and wonderful etc. he had one failing. The good Lord was a total disaster with heads, so what to do with all those imperfect heads - cover them in hair.

Maybe I just lost the plot

i occasionally have a fleeting something

Yeah I would agree, thats basically it. Simple but true.

And it truly is fleeting.

I have noticed a few long term quitters post in the forum, I STILL CRAVE A CIG.That sort of posting does not inspire confidence in the rest of us.Do you truly crave a cigarette or is it the fact you are so deep into the quit that you have forgotten what a real crave is?,Does this need you have for a smoke stop you in your tracks like it does for the rest of us starting off on the quitting road?, Tell us what you feel like now compared to the three four five plus months since you had your last smoke.We need to be inspired

I don't remember saying this!:confused:

I made a big post saying the total opposite!

Have I missed a few posts?:rolleyes:

The posts I've seen about this have all emphasised how the thoughts that are still there are completely different to those in the early days, and few and far between - or have I missed something? :confused:

Another point though is that people who have been quit longer still need to feel comfortable in posting if they are struggling. Non-smokers still have bad days too and I'd hate to think people were put off posting what they really think for fear of scaring off people earlier on in their quits.

I ocassionally have a 'feeling' that I would like to smoke - but its not smoking related if you know what I mean? (you probably dont know what I mean to be honest - not sure if I do myself :confused

Its my mind playing tricks with me like yesterday I had a craving day but it was my head saying if you smoke you'll lose weight so why dont you do that. I know its a load of rubbish and I truly believe I will never ever have a cigarette again.

Phil did not say you said it and I do not think he was taking a pop at anyone

But where did it come from? :confused:

ps - mmm, tea please

it is a tough one babe

i had a mad moment when my web site played up and everything fell on top if me and i felt totally and utterly down and rejected and i had to say for the first time in a long time i thought of fags as a comfort, that and vodka of course so I turned to Andy and he got me through and would never have posted on here what was happening because of that very reason

But that's almost like saying that the support stops when you reach a certain point (I know that's not what you're saying of course, if that makes sense!)

I had a moment a few weeks ago where for the first time in ages I really could have smoked. I was probably on about 15 weeks or so at the time, should I not have posted that?

There's also a danger of giving unrealistic expectations. I don't want to put anyone off, of course not. But nor do I want them to be disheartened because they have the odd crave in month 3 or 4. I want them to know that that's ok.

I really hope this is coming across ok. It can be difficult to discuss on forums without it coming across as argumentative which is certainly not my intention (honest!) I'm just mulling things over.

month 3 and 4 both have there moments of trial and we can all expect to see posts at this time for a little help though the need is of a different nature then earlier on in the quit in many ways

But we shouldn't be put off posting about those moments of trial for fear of scaring people who've just quit. I think most people when posting do also make it clear that it's a very different kettle of fish to the early days.

It's also very true that when reading posts like those you have to bear the blip issue in mind (am now aware that I'm re-opening yet another can of worms here!)

I feel a bit now.

Was it a crave though or just a fleeting passing thought, a thought similar to walking past a cake shop and thinking i would fancy one of them and a few paces later that thought has gone,

Not sure that this was aimed at me, but hey, I'm feeling chatty!

The other week when I posted about my near disaster it was a full-on crave. I really did want a fag, I wanted about 40 of them, it was awful. But that was the first time I'd felt like that in months (no blipping!) I wouldn't describe the other passing thoughts I occasionally get as craves at all, they're totally different.

My point was (there was one!) that I needed help that day. So even though I was in month 4 or 5 or whatever I was honest about having a major crave. Should I not be able to do that then?

Perspective though!!

Quitting smoking is not everything in life! well it is in the early days, the times later on when it gets a bit tough again are a small part of the day. Like going for a pee you do it but it's not a large part of the day, that you think of it all day! if you see what i mean.

Cake craving is a good a.n.a.logy

no body was saying that!!! :rolleyes:

Not as such but saying that it 'doesn't inspire confidence' does seem to be saying it's not welcome. Doesn't it :confused:

no body was saying that!!!

....I was thinking it though......

(Joke!)

will you behave!!!! :rolleyes: go and have a cup of tea

I am having a cup of tea - it's lovely!

I am just genuinely interested about this though. The last thing I want to do is anything that's unsupportive of all our lovely newbies, but at the same time I still need support.

Maybe I just misunderstood the question.

The last thing I want to do is anything that's unsupportive of all our lovely newbies, but at the same time I still need support.

Of course you do!

Its just one of those things that can't easily be resolved.

Newbies (of which I count myself one) have a need to hear everything will be alright, it helps them see an end in sight.

However long term non smokers have their issues too - and should have the same freedom to express their frustrations and achievements without fear of scaring the little 'uns

In fact it would be serving us newbies an injustice to "pretend" all is rosy after x amount of days have passed. We need to know whats coming up for us so we can be prepared for when (and if) it hits us.

Hope that made sense .....

Also bearing in mind, Everyone is different!!

So it's about others experiences not about a set plan as to how you will feel because of what you hear from a couple of people.

and the answer is from 5 months i have been sailing and not felt anything bad apart from the web site thing and yes the craves go away and no you won't miss them any more and in fact you will just live your lives with out them

What is important to realize Boudee is that is YOUR experience - and that's great, but others will have different experiences and they are just as valid as yours

xx

In fact it would be serving us newbies an injustice to "pretend" all is rosy after x amount of days have passed. We need to know whats coming up for us so we can be prepared for when (and if) it hits us.

Yes, that's what I meant! Thank you for putting it better than I was managing

I've had one crave situation in the last however many months, just one. It came out of nowhere and really freaked me out. Having now got some perspective back (thanks in part to this place) I know that it didn't matter, that it was ok to think that and that it hasn't set me back at all.

The vast majority of time it doesn't bother me in the slightest, and that's what I want to get across to people. But I also want them to know that if after 3 months, 6 months, 3 years there's a crave response to a sh*tty situation it doesn't mean that you haven't cracked it.

There isn't a set time where it gets easier, It is up to the individual!

For some people it could be day 2 and for some day 200.

It's very hard to establish a specific timeframe.

No matter how long, it will get easier, thats all you need to worry about!;)

tell you what as well peeps

it is not just down to each individual person but also down to each individual quit as each of mine have been very different and i know others have too

Ooh yes, that's true. I've felt better and more settled this time from about a month in than I ever felt when I gave up for about 7 months a few years back. I wasn't committed to that and part of me was always expecting to go back to smoking, this is totally different.

Its great to hear a long term quitter say, i have not thought of cigs in days or weeks we want to hear things like that not just about the odd mind blowing crave

We may want to hear that but surely we only want to hear it if it's true - and not some sugar coated lie to make us newbies feel better?

maybe those that have not thought about cigs are not the ones on here because if you are on here funnily enough you kind of are reminded of them

Very good point!

Its great to hear a long term quitter say, i have not thought of cigs in days or weeks we want to hear things like that not just about the odd mind blowing crave

To be fair though Phil there are loads of posts where long term quitters are saying how good it is, how much easier it is. Those posts are already out there.

I'm having one now but I know its because I want to upset someone for hurting me and the only person it will hurt is me

I'm going to PM you if thats ok x

I'm having one now but I know its because I want to upset someone for hurting me and the only person it will hurt is me

Sorry to use you as an example here Sharkbait but that's the kind of thing that you just don't always see when you first stop.

The physical side of cravings goes pretty quickly (days), the habit side goes within a matter of weeks. But the emotional triggers can (not always) take longer to work out. You can be happily going on as a non smoker and not think about it for weeks, months, and then an emotional trigger can hit you. Especially the case I've found if it's a trigger that hasn't been 'hit' for a while.

Personally as a newbie I'd rather know about that - along with the more positive stories - and know that it's just another part of it. Forewarned is forearmed and all that!

BRILLIANT POST Thats my motive there lots of positives but warned about the negative

Yay! So can we get back to talking about knickers now then?

If were talking about knickers, I might be weird but I always feel better when I put on a brand new pair. Which Ive just done

Wear them on the outside like Batman

Philfromwales earlier today.....

thelaughingstock.co.uk/acat...

This might sound crazy, But i have likend my quit to a bereavement. The begining is so hard you miss your old friend so much. As time moves on the pain gets less. Then out of the blue comes a Trauma and you look for the old crutch. Its like your loved ones birthday or a past memory upsets you. I thought this at christmas. This is the first xmas then the first new yaer, Though the loss of the cigs is a posotive thought, i think i will go right through the year saying this is the first like you do with a bereavement. The pain is there but less and less. Duno if this makes sense and im only 3 months and could change how i think later. But craves are always at emotional times for me. Though weaker and weaker with time. xxx

dossydo it makes perfect sense

HA HA! thanks Phil, im not off my trolly as i normaly am then eh ? lol

Hello Dossy, how's things?

That made perfect sense to me too. That's what I've felt like. Most of the time it's fine, better than fine, great. But then you get those emotional triggers and a crave out of the blue (for me the last one was because I was so upset - and interestingly despite being even more upset on saturday I didn't at any point crave a cig). It's like once you've passed that trigger it's not an issue anymore, but there are some things that you don't come across that often so it triggers a crave ages after you've stopped.

Hello Dossy, how's things?

That made perfect sense to me too. That's what I've felt like. Most of the time it's fine, better than fine, great. But then you get those emotional triggers and a crave out of the blue (for me the last one was because I was so upset - and interestingly despite being even more upset on saturday I didn't at any point crave a cig). It's like once you've passed that trigger it's not an issue anymore, but there are some things that you don't come across that often so it triggers a crave ages after you've stopped.

Thats it . EXACTLY hbav, thats what i was trying to say in my clumsy way. Im not alone then. You sometimes think is it only me ? Ha! we all gona get there eventualy eh?

Im not alone then. You sometimes think is it only me ?

I'm getting ridiculously over-excited that someone knows what I'm talking about!

I'm getting ridiculously over-excited that someone knows what I'm talking about!

Just had a thought:rolleyes:.... what if its only you and me ? :(..........What if,....we are completely round the bend? :eek: Happy nutters then what what?

Just had a thought:rolleyes:.... what if its only you and me ? :(..........What if,....we are completely round the bend? :eek: Happy nutters then what what?

What the hell, if it's just us at least we're not on our own!

Hey hbav it realy looks like we are alone in our madness. :confused: ha! i cant see anyone loitering in a white coat yet........:eek:

No your not!! that was a great post H and dossy too!

I am in agreance too

AHHHHH!!!!!! not another nutter LOL LOL xxx

She's one of us now!