i have failed

I have just come in from a wedding do and I want to say it to everyone coz I dont want to hide it but I have smoked.

I have no excuse, I took my gum, but I started feeling tipsy and had some gum and hubby said can I have a smoke with steve? and I said pls dont ask me that coz I really want one.

so he went out to the garden and I followed him and everyone said pls charlene and lee you two dont smoke anymore, but I just didnt care and brought three for a pound off a stranger and I smoked three througout the night.

I dont feel guilty but I do feel as though I have let myself down, I knew I was not ready to have a really good drinking session but I did anyway and I knew I would prob smoke and I did, coz all my friends were smoking, (no excuse I know) I have let myself down and I feel like crap about it.

Im still a bit drunk so I hope spellings ok, sorry if it isnt, bur I feel so rotten about this that I have to get it down before I go to bed.

I can smell it on myself now and I feel like shit.

Sorry for letting the side and myself down. :( honestly I could just cry....:(

Charlene.

Sorry if this sounds like a drunken rambling.

12 Replies

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  • Don't give up Charlene. So your not ready for the big boozy nights out yet. So what, you are only human. We all think about smoking all the time. You are not alone. Come on, shrug it off and give Nik O teen a slap. You know you want to be a non smoker, thats why you are here right?

    forums.monstersmallbusiness...

  • Arh Charlene, you havent failed :(

    today is another day just get straight back on with your no smoking life.

    Have a lovely day today and don't be hard on yourself, its that b*****d Nic O Tene for sneaking up on you when you'd had a few too many. Talk about taking advantage of a drunken female!!!

  • Charlene,

    I have been nicotine free now since the start of march.

    Before that i had many quits.

    Some lasting a few days some lasting a few weeks.

    Try and use this experience to be stronger and read as much as you can on the nicotine trap, loads of stuff on line.

    I have had bad days not now but early on my quit where i have been drinking on a heavy session with people smoking around me and i kept saying 1 fag wont make me feel any better and in the morning i was so proud even had nightmares that i had smoked.

    you have so much to gain by quitting smoking and nothing to gain if you don't try.

    good luck

    Andy

    you have only failed if you dont try !!!!!

  • As Boudee said your only human its a hard addiction to kick.

    Today is another day. So have a good think and if you decide to start again, we are all here for you. If you don't stay with us, we'll help you through it the next time your ready.

    I found it diffcult this weekend, my on/ off boyfriend, dumped me last night. It was partly cause of him I gave up (cause he'd done it and succeeded). I really wanted a fag last night, but I had a pizza instead. This morning I've decided if I can give the fags up, then I can give him up, for good this time.

  • No you didn't fail. You stumbled. We are all like toddlers learning to walk this road and bumps and bruises are expected. Brush yourself off, don't beat yourself up and just keep going. We are all behind you.

    I have to tell ya I failed. I made it 6 weeks and crashed and burned. I have 2 smokes left and I will be smoke free again. Not looking for to the first week but I have no one to blame but myself. So....here we go AGAIN

    hugs

    Cindy

  • feeling better

    Thanks everyone, I have just woke up and I have the hangover from hell, and Im sure the fags have made it worse.

    I wouldnt of thought that three cigs would make my lungs and chest as sore as they are.

    I have decided to carry on, as strangley enough I am not craving anymore than usual, which I think is werid as after smoking I thought it would be day1 all over again, maybe its the hangover and I will feel worse later so I will be on my guard.

    Best thing though is that I have finally thrown smoking paraphenalia away, I havent felt ready to do it before but I just detest it now and wanted it all in the bin, so I have thrown away my secret ash tray, tin with tobacco, papers and filters in it and my lighter. I had the lot stashed in a bag in my wardrobe, "just in case", why I dont know I was deluding myself obviously, but I physically could not bring myself to chuck them till today, maybe this was a wake up call I needed.

    Thanks for all your support, it means a lot. :o

    Charlene.:)

  • Hey charlene.

    What I remeber from having some cigs during a previous quit is that I craved even less for a few days. I was so disgusted with myself for smoking and so disgusted with the way the cigs made me feel next day. Keep going, it's a tough job to quit but each day is a new day

  • Thanks everyone for all your support you are all absolute stars and Im lucky to have you all on side, u all really came through for me when I needed you, and I am feeling positive again now, although when I think about what I did it turns my stomach a bit as though I did something mind blowingly wrong, I suppose thats a good thing and it will put me off in the future.

    Charlene. :)

  • Don't get the guilts about it Charlene.:o

    You only slipped up. A few fags is not the end of the world. Main thing is that you still do not want to smoke.

    Keep it up, you can do it:)

  • Charlene i am so sorry to hear about your lapse, but i am so glad that you dont want to smoke and are carrying on. stay strong and good luck

  • Charlene, you had a slip, we all do, just think I will not smoke again. Stay strong, you know we are all here for you.

    xxxx Pupalup xxxxx:)

  • Well done Charlene x x Sorry about the slip but it seems to me it helped you over another hurdle!

    Glad you finaly trashed the stash :D

    Onwards and upwards x x ~Buffy x x

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