Just received a transplant, how to help the kids cope.

[6V53]

I received a transplant 9/29. I am recovering very well. However, I'm from a fairly remote location and we had to leave the kids at home and travel a long distance to get here. We have a bunch of kids from small to adult and were looking for resources to help them understand what is going on. It is a big scary thing for a parent to gone for months at a time (we can't go home for at least 6 weeks) for medical treatment.

Thanks

[Herkidney]

congratulations on your transplant. when I received my transplant 4 years ago, i had one college kid and two high school kids. The only thing I could do was reassure them that I was okay and that I was getting better and stronger each day. Talking to them each day and keeping in touch throughout the day via text was helpful. Also, a good sense of humor or laugh goes a long way. Best wishes for a fabulous recovery.

[Herkidney in reply to Herkidney]

I was in the hospital for a full week and I had told all of their high school teachers as well as the school nurse what was happening so that they would have support available to them as needed at school. My high school kids did go to the nurse’s office a few times in the early days because of the emotional toll it was taking on them. My husband was my living donor so we both underwent surgery and spent time in the hospital. It was not easy for the kids. Good luck.

[AndrewT]

How about this.... 'You Know That Daddy Has Had a Wonderful Gift, So He Feels Much Better? Well Daddy Will Still Needs Some 'Check Ups' To Make Sure All Is Well.'

Maybe explain, a bit more Detail, to the Older Siblings.

AndrewT

[Jayhawker]

In addition to texting your kids regularly, have you considered doing video conferencing calls with them daily? Something like zoom would work well for that.

Your kids would be able to see you and hear you daily. Plus they can show you drawings they’ve made for you, what they are having for dinner, etc. You might even be able to video call when you’re eating dinner and if they are ready to eat at the same time you could enjoy a virtual dinner together.

Jayhawker

[AndrewT in reply to Jayhawker]

What a 'wonderful' idea Jay. Sorry but I'm NOT that 'Tec Savvy', I'm afraid.... I mean enough to Get By, sort out my Mum's Ancient Computer (just about!) but....!

AndrewT

[Jayhawker in reply to AndrewT]

zoom is easy🙂

You receive a link from the zoom meeting host through your email account. You click on the link and enter an additional code sent to you in the email message. Then you wait for the host to admit you to the meeting.

Once admitted you’re ready to go. It provides live video and audio connection. With older computers you may need to do a video and audio check before logging into zoom, but that’s it.

Super easy! Most smart phones have the zoom app loaded on the phone so anyone can set up zoom meetings. But you don’t need the app to participate. I host zoom meetings for my grafuate university classes. I have had as many as 125 students logged in to one zoom meeting. So, you could actually have all the family members including aunts and uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc, logged into zoom at the same time; a virtual family gathering!!

Jayhawker

[BabyTee]

To help the older kids understand, this video might help. You can decide, based on your kids, if you think it is too complicated or appropriate:

Search Youtube for "Lecture 2-6: Kidney transplant surgery" and choose the first video (from Centre for Innovation - Leiden University). I can't get the link or address to paste properly.

I would send care packages every couple of weeks. Halloween is just around the corner, so sending themed care packages might help keep their spirits up. Inexpensive lightweight items would be fun for them to open a package. Let them know you are doing well, miss them, and can't wait to see them. If you think it's a good idea, tell them how much you are walking each day to show improvement.

I think you have to tell them that although being apart is hard, it will be worth it, because they will have a much healthier father than they had before. Worthwhile things require sacrifice. We are sacrificing now so our family can have a better, healthier life together.

I am sorry you have to be so far away from them. The first few weeks the meds can make you a little crazy, so try to bear with it if it is getting to you. Try to keep your spirits up, and keep walking!

Congratulations for your new Kidney!

[6V53]

Thank you for all the replies. The first week was hard for the kids, but seem to being doing a lot better. Especially since, at this point, things are going so well for me that they can relax and not worry so much.