How are you living life with spouses both Vaccinated against Covid but one has a kidney transplant and one is healthy?

[Gardner-NY]

I cannot find direct information on this question where I am healthy and vaccinated against Covid19 and my spouse is vaccinated and has a kidney transplant but cannot make antibodies due to being on Cellcept antirejection med mainly. Do I live my life "normal" and he is living restricted like before vaccines were available? We have chosen to both do the same thing, live our lives like the vaccine has NOT been created yet. What are you doing in your home? I'd really like to hear. Thanks.

[blackkat2]

We just each go about our business, but continuing all the pandemic guidelines till there's more information about immunocompromised people. Thankfully, since so many others are now vaccinated, the risks are lower than before.

[littlelinda50]

I have not and won't get vaccinated because there is not enough information on long term effects.

[Eyak1971]

Presently there is very little consistency on your question because the problem varies according to each person's beliefs. Perhaps as more studies and information becomes available better decisions can be made. I have posted this info. From my doctor before but if you missed it -

These are their recommendations regarding Covid vaccination response in Transplanted patients.

*No need to get antibody tested.

*Vaccinate all those in your family/friend group when at all possible to create a ring of protection for you.

*When a booster is available possibly later this fall, we recommend that you get it.

*Follow the Covid prevalence in the your community.

*Continue to social distance when in the community and wear masks.

*If you are with someone who is fully vaccinated it is not required to mask unless you prefer to wear one of course.

[Gardner-NY in reply to Eyak1971]

Hello Eyak1971, Thanks for your response and all you wrote my spouse with transplant and I knew already. Our county where we live is 50% vaccinated and 25% choose or cannot get the vaccine--so herd immunity in my small county is not in the cards. We just continue to stay home alot and isolate. Not fun or easy, but that's what we do for 2.5 yrs (more months than covid starting due to alot of problems with kidney first 13 months after transplant). thanks and I wish you well.

[Eyak1971 in reply to Gardner-NY]

Sorry to hear about your isolation and your spouse's kidney issues. At a time like this stress can be high and stress is not good for anyone's health. People feel a loss of control of their lives. You are not alone. Find something you can do together outside. Covid transmission outside is fairly rare as long you are not in a large group for an extended length of time but if you are still hesitant find a park or a trail you can go on. Enjoying nature even in your back yard is a great stress release. Also be aware sometimes there can be many ups and downs in the first few years of a transplant, emotionally and physically. Please consider sharing your concerns with your doctor. My doctor was a good listener as well as a good physician. They have seen it and heard it all before. Since you have already reached out on this forum you must be knowledgeable and comfortable to be ready to talk to someone face to face. Best of luck and what you are going through is a journey that will eventually bring you to a better place. Your spouse was fortunate to get a new kidney and that is a blessing. I wish there was a book I could recommend to build your spirits and answer all your questions. Maybe others can recommend one. Take care.

[Gardner-NY in reply to Eyak1971]

Thanks for your comments and caring spirit. You name an idea and we've tried it already. We live in the country and have property to explore, but he has little desire to do so mostly due to how he feels allt he time. His 4 nephrologists know all this story. I finally was able to get off a 3 month wait list and am now seeing a counselor. My spouse has no desire to see a counselor, wish he would. Thanks again. I wish I could hear from one person with a similar story after 2.5 yrs post transplant feeling lousey most of the time and living with fatigue and more. Never have met anyone yet. Its hard to watch happen and try to find ways to live as a couple when most of the things you did before together are now not capable to do. I wish you a good summer.

[Eyak1971 in reply to Gardner-NY]

For some guys any chronic disease is hard to take emotionally because there is a loss of control where you feel the disease has the control. Added to that covid sometimes limits your ability to work. Sometimes men feel that the work defines who we are. Put those 2 together and you have severe depression. I know I have experienced both situations. For the first I went to a counselor and cried the first time in probably 50 years. Haven't cried since but it made me examine my feelings. With the second problem I took a part time job even though it was totally different from what I expected to be doing. But it gave me a sense that I still had worth and was still part of society. Presently because of restrictions I feel anxious to return to work but keep telling myself next year will be different and a job Will be possible. I am not saying that women cannot have these same feelings but they have a tendency to handle them differently and usually have a network of women to help them through the process. I guess I would say be patient and give him time to process. If he has a male friend or associate to help reach out and make contact. Sometimes people know there is a problem and are waiting to be asked before they intervene. Take care of him but also take care of yourself.

[Gardner-NY in reply to Eyak1971]

Thanks for your personal story. I've been seeing a counselor for over 40 yrs on and off to help me through life's trials and more. My spouse with the transplant over 2.5 yrs (retired 4 yrs prior to transplant) does not believe in counseling at all for him self, us , or even 'me'. I wish he would for I think it could help him. I no longer bringup the topic for it gets me no where but grief. I am glad you are getting the help you need. I finally just recently started to see a new counselor (my counselor I had 3 yrs retired 4/2020 and it was planned), so I've had no one while I work from home over 67 wks and do not like it being away from people. I return to work after July4 and obtained a more isolated office than where I currently have one with more foot traffic on a college campus. My concern is bringing this virus home. We are vaccinated but his body did not make antibodies and I'm healthy. This topic consumes 85% of my thinking to be honest. I was taking care of myself the first 14 months after his transplant and all the major challenges that happened, but then covid came shortly after all that; so we've had no reprieve of "normalness" yet. I truly wish you the best. My spouse is also diabetic on insulin 4X a day and that plays a huge role in how he feels in relation to what the meds seem to control glucose more than the healthy foods he eats. All this is not new to us, diabetes.