Hello all! Love all your posts. I have an eating disorder and have a big problem with eating right. I've been cooking most of my meals and trying to eat vegetarian for some meals. I try to stay away from trigger foods but it is very hard. I have diabetes and CKD with GFRs between 15-20. I feel embarrassed and sad that I can't stop eating foods that are poor choices or high in portions. I've been in support groups but I still overeat. I'm just wondering if anyone else has this problem and how they deal with or eradicate it. I've always heard "you need to reach your bottom before you move up" and I think when am I going to reach my bottom? I need to take better care of myself. I am 57 and it hurts when someone says I'm too young for this disease. I want to change but my ED doesn't. Thoughts?
Eating disorder: Hello all! Love all your... - Kidney Disease
Eating disorder
Hi Epril. I also have an eating disorder. I can eat right most days but then go way over board. My going overboard happens less and I eat less but a day or so of eating bad can destroy a week of eating good. What has helped me is I sometimes listed to an Addiction guided meditation. Also, I read, reread a book called Mindful Eating by Jan Chozen Bays, MD. That's been a great help.Please don't feel embarrassed by the ED, it's an addiction. Just like drugs or alcohol. It's not about self control.
STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP. I too am a person of size and struggle daily with my eating. Minute by minute..... it can be torturous if you let it. My suggestion to you is to let go of the guilt. You are a wonderful person, human and venerable. Embrace the good work you do and let go of the times you feel you could have done better. We live in a world where food can be either a joy or punishment..... don't let it be a punishment. You deserve better. Stop making food a negative challenge and embrace it as something you can do to succeed. For example, make as much as your own foods and share what you do. I make my own bread and have taught my friends how to do it. We grow our own veggies and herbs and again, I share the wealth with my friends. Share recipes. We always here on this site are looking for good ideas. Reward yourself with your accomplishments by either keeping a diary or journal of how successful and great you are doing or use an app. I use Fitbit and MyFitnesspal.
For me, boredom is a real eating trigger. I have to be busy and when I am, I don't eat.
The next suggestion is get rid of the junk and find snack foods that you can enjoy without the guilt. For example, we found blue corn chips have very low salt and very few additives in them and so.... good for crunching. Much better than potato chips. Popcorn is another good choice depending on what you put on it. I admit, we eat popcorn every Saturday night with oil and butter. We have a standing movie night on Saturday, But I only have a little and then bag it and munch on it for the week. Microwave popcorn is not a good choice again because of the chemicals. But you can microwave popcorn in a popper designed for t microwave that does not need oil. Its crunchy, but flavorless. Apples are a great choice for sweetness and crunch. I love chocolate and found that I can satisfy my urge if I have one small dark chocolate Dove square. But you have to stop at one. If you can't, like my husband, then don't bring it in the house. Figure out what satisfies and then keep that in the house.
When it comes to portions, I really get it. I overeat as well. What I am trying to do now is eat a smaller portions and then put the rest away for leftovers. Then I do not have to cook. We eat a salad with every meal, and we start with that which fills you up. When you eat out, have some and then box it. Again, leftovers are great.
The last suggestion is talk to your doctor about going on one of the diabetic drugs (GLP-1) that help with weight loss. I am on Ozempic. It has lowered my A1c to the point where I am using so much less insulin. Insulin is a nasty drug. It puts weight on and makes you have cravings. Ozempic helps with cravings too and getting full. I am not losing weight like I would like but many people do. Talk to your doctor.
Eating a renal diet is for life. If you can, find a dietician to help support your choices. You may find new things that you enjoy that you didn't think about.
Thank you so much for your fantastic reply! It helps to keep hearing that I shouldn't feel guilty. Hard not to feel that way but wonderful to get support, Your food ideas are helpful. I can't believe how sweet and delicious fruit has become to me after reducing my processed sugars intake! I take Tresiba and Victoza, both injections. Supposedly Victoza may help with weight loss but not for me. I'll look into Ozempic. You know it's hard because I eat even when I'm full. I didn't know insulin makes you gives you cravings...one great reason to get off it!
HI Epril, You are not alone in this fight. This is why the diet industry is sooooo lucrative. People can diet for short amounts on time and think Wahoo, I licked my fat issue. What happens is the body reacts with what I call food hoarding. Which, in scientific terms, means your metabolism adjusts to what food intake you are giving it. After a while, calorie deficit will create an imbalance where the small amount of food will be stored as fat because the body thinks you are starving. Short term results is weight loss, long term results is screwed metabolism. This is my issue. So now, if I eat even close to 1500 calories, I gain weight. Tried to retrick my metabolism by eating more, on the suggestion of a dietician and a doctor who said I was not eating enough calories, and instantaneously put on weigh that I then had to lose.
I have been to so many experts and dieticians and doctors and they all go, "jeepers, don't know what to say here..." which is code for "She's lying and eating way more than she is reporting." I have had over 30 tests and labs run and the only thing they came up with was I had muscle wasting. So, the next suggestion was exercise. So I did. I have been working out since July two days a week for an hour each day and walking at minimum 2 miles daily. And guess what...I gained three pounds.
About the eating even when you think you are full. That is all chemical. And now they are admitting that some people do not have that "full" sensor. I am one too. I do not get that full feeling ever. The only thing you can do is give yourself less and less each time. Split servings into smaller portions and when you finish one, walk away. But you are correct. Insulin and diabetes makes you hungry and craving foods that are not the best. My cravings are for carbs, especially pasta and bread. It is a real struggle so give yourself a break and do the best you can.
The good news is there is a lot of research going on about obesity and the mechanics of weight loss. I was part of a huge conference for obesity and CKD. It is a big issue. Diabetes is a major cause of CKD and the link to obesity and CKD and diabetes is all interwoven. I wish I could tell you they found answers. But...they did not. They suggest things like weight loss surgery. (This is my story on that: I went for a consult, they reviewed my medical history and denied me. Too risky) They suggest the new drugs like SLGT-2s and GLP-1s. (Had to fight to get on one of those and it's great for my diabetes but not weight loss).
I do not mean to sound like I am lecturing or anything. What you are experiencing is so common and so real. I am hoping by answering you that others are seeing this and get some strength. Maybe if we start demanding respect and making providers hear us, instead of judging us, we might make some medical progress on an issue that affects more people than cancer.
By the way, and this is another reason why I am so passionate about this. My CKD was brought on because doctors would not run tests one me and I ended up with damage due to medications. They kept saying my pain was because I was fat. AND now, my medical center will not do a transplant until I get my BMI down. Such blatant discrimination makes me crazy.
Those new drugs are the "second coming" !! Great post.
Dear Epril, I am so sorry you’re dealing with an eating disorder. I too have had a binge eating disorder in the past. I was addicted to sugar and still can have a problem with it. I finally realized that in my case a big cause was drinking diet soda. I drank it for most of my life and always had problems with sugar cravings. When I recently stopped drinking diet pop my sugar cravings stopped. I don’t know if you drink or eat any sugar free foods but I have found out that they create a huge need for sugar because our bodies don’t know how to process them. I had a son who taught me a lot about recovery from any substance. Food is an addiction like any other. You don’t need to wait to reach your bottom. Step 1 is admitting you have a problem and that you can’t fix it. The amazing and miraculous thing about recovering from it is the act of giving up control and letting God do what we can’t do. There is power in the act of submitting and admitting defeat. I care and I want to keep hearing from you. I understand and relate to this battle. Also, don’t panic about your ckd stage 3a because the more we pressure ourselves to change the harder it is to make changes. Let go of the guilt because it keeps us in a vicious cycle. I’m sorry I’ve gone on so long. I have a passion for helping others. God bless you. I’m proud of you for sharing your journey on this site. The people here are amazing and so uplifting. You will be in my prayers. Be calm.
Thank you so much for your reply! I've heard some about diet coke etc. being a problem. I drink it as well as eat sugar free jello, gum, crystal light...so I want to stay away from those products as much as possible to see if it helps with cravings. I appreciate the reminder to "let God." Ty. Lifelong food addict here. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one who treats her body this way knowing that I have CKD. I know I'm probably not, so thank you for caring!
You’re very welcome, Epril, you are not alone. I have battled food for most of my life too. I pray that stopping all diet drinks and foods helps you like it has helped me. You’re right, let go & let God. Don’t feel pressured or afraid about your kidneys or eating. There is a lot of great advice on this site. I’m so glad you found this community. They have already helped me be more informed and calmed my fear. We do care about you, you’re not alone. God bless you. Please let us know how you are doing.
One day at a time. Unlike alcohol, we need food to live, so the addition to junk is much harder to break. Make a little goal. Get through 15 days or 30 days...one day at a time. They say 30 days will change behavior patterns. I just want to to add that I really feel for you. I used to have similar issues, for example, buy a bag of M&M, eat some, throw them in the trash, then dig them out and eat some more. I understand that you find this shameful and you feel powerless, but the TRUTH is YOU're A WARRIOR SO ACTING LIKE ONE> Fall in love with fresh fruits and veggies and don't look back. Get into new healthy recipes and for the LOVE OF GOD, get outside and walk and jog and if you live where it is cold, by a cheap treadmill and stop with the excuses. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. Sounds like you are on your way.
Don't be hard on yourself, none of us are perfect.Be realistic and lower your expectations of yourself so that you don't set yourself up to fail.
Set yourself small manageable goals rather than trying to do everything at once.
Make gradual changes and if you slip up put it down to experience, learn from it, forgive yourself and just carry on the next day.
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