Slim partner chubby me

Good morning all πŸ™‚

Can anyone give me any tips how to keep weight on my partner and weight off me.

My partner is very slim and working all day, I'm 2stone over weight and at home all day.

My partner is lovely and "don't mind" what size I am. He says you look lovely as you are and its me that has the problem with my weight he will love me whatever size I am.

I know that's very loving and kind but that doesn't help me stick to loosing my extra 2stone. I look at calorie loaded tasties and pile on the pounds and my partner could eat a banquet and not gain an ounce! He looses weight as quick as a flash.

So need tips to keep us both right weights. So dinner time is hard as he will say you can't just have that you will make yourself ill. I don't think skinny/slim people who have been slim all their life really understand how hard it is for us to loose weight. But I'm doing this weight loss for me now. So just need help to make meals for both ends of the scales πŸ™‚

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12 Replies

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  • Would it work to have different things for breakfast and lunch, then the same thing for dinner? I have the same dinner as the rest of my family - 2 kids and a hubbie - I give myself small amounts of carbs (rice, mash whatever) and lots of veg. I tend to cook things that have seperate components so that's easier to do. Last night we had spag bol - the bol part was more than half veg (celery, onion, carrots) and we had salad too (which i had lots of), plus cheese on top (i just had a little bit of parmasan). I work from home and the rest of the family have packed lunches, so they get things like yoghurts, choc bars, crisps in their lunchboxes so they dont feel like they are missing anything at all, and we all eat healthily in the evening.

    Good luck - its not easy getting it right when you are cooking for different needs.

  • Hi JiminyCricket,

    Thank you for your reply.

    I will try those tips. Looks like you have good meal plans for your family πŸ™‚

    I should find it easy as there is only the 2 of us during the week and one of the grandchildren at the week end (other ones live 100 miles away) but I'm just not very good at planning meals (ashamed)

    Last night Partner had rice and sweet and sour chicken I had baked potato with heaped salad. He's said yours looks better than mine. I asked if he would like the same or similar tomorrow and he said no.

    I'm not a great meat eater and hate fish. My partner loves fish and meat πŸ™‚ Unfortunately I like things like chips, potatoes, cake, pasta, cheese, bread, wine and chocolate : / so guess it's a steep learning curve for new beginnings πŸ™‚ Thank you once again.

  • Good luck! Cooking for just yourself can make it harder sometimes I think, you end up indulging yourself! Maybe you can find meals with some elements in common (like pasta and veg) and just some extra meat/fish for your partner? I find roast dinners are quite easy to cater for different tastes. Do share any good ideas wont you! Someone put a recipe for carrot fries on here a couple of days ago - I havent tried it yet but it looks good!

  • I've got no experience of this one, but instinct tells me portion size might be the answer. Healthy food is healthy for all of us so I would imagine eating the same would be fine, but hubbie will need lots more of it and a few more healthy snacks thrown in too. Your hubbie sounds a real gem by the way! Good luck x

  • Aww... Thank you, he is πŸ™‚

    Trouble is its hard to feed him up as food just don't seem to interest him. He just eats enough to survive. His family have said he's always been that way.

    Just need to find highly nutritious food in small amounts for him and large amounts of lo cal for me πŸ™‚

    Thank you for your reply. If you don't mind me asking how is the weight loss journey for you?

  • I'm frightened to say in case I jinx it, but surprisingly well thank you. I had many, many false starts at turning over a new leaf over the years and the turn around for me was finding this forum.

    I think the major breakthrough was truly accepting that I really couldn't be a new me without behaving in a different way towards food and exercise. Little by little I made small, subtle changes to my lifestyle which gradually built into some massive changes which are now just part of the way I am.

    I have taught myself to genuinely enjoy healthier foods rather than holding on to eating small amounts of not very nutritious stuff and I have exchanged sedentary hobbies for active ones. I cut out added sugar pretty much altogether because I am pretty addicted to the stuff but not everyone has to do that.

    Working on a positive attitude also helped me a lot; before I had really beaten myself up over every little fluctuation in weight but I'm much kinder to myself these days and I don't have a "goal" as such, but just aim to keep off any weight that I do lose in the long term.

    Sorry, didn't mean to write a book!

    Wishing you every success x

  • I'm in exactly the same position, my partner can't afford to lose any weight but could easily do so if he ate the same as me. So we have a few ways we make up the difference. A big one is salad. If you put salad/veggies on the plates first (more for you) before adding the main bit of the meal you'll be able to see you're really having more of the low cal stuff, and that he's getting more of the main part. Then there's things like grated cheese, I don't have any on my pasta etc, so it stays next to his plate to top up. Or jacket potatoes, take a smaller one or have a sweet potato instead etc. It's about adjusting portion sizes in a way that makes a minimal impact on the meal overall, then you'll still feel like you're eating together.

    You can also make up the difference by taking up exercise, especially things you do together. You'll be burning cals, meanwhile he'll be building up a healthy appetite. Hope that helps. Basically it's about lots of small things, trial and error, as with everything else in this process :)

  • Thank you Ruth_Canal_Runner,

    That sounds like a good idea.

    Nice to know someone else's other half is slimmer and need to keep their weight on as it can be a challenge one needing to loose and other needing to stay the same or maybe gain a little.

    I'm just trying to get myself back into exercising again.

    You sound like you have a good mind set and willing to work your body. So proud of your motivation πŸ™‚ I will get there I know I just need to keep pushing my lazy self into action.

    A couple of years ago I started to jog and weighed approx 8stone 2lb now 10stone 2. 3/4lb : / and really enjoyed doing it and the way I looked. But then last year I had a stroke and just recovery time meds and then lazy kicked in and now I'm at the point of I just can't deal with this extra weight, baggy t shirts and stretchy leggings to hide my sins.

    So here I am trying to sort myself with the help of you kind understanding people here.

    Keep up your good work and maybe you would be kind enough to give me a hard nudge now and then. πŸ˜€

  • I think lots of little nudges work better. Will be happy enough to keep bothering you if that's what you want though :) It sounds like you maybe need the exercise more than the weight loss if you're mostly looking at how clothes fit etc? Maybe try to find something to catch your imagination to get yourself in the exercise zone again :)

  • Have the same, healthy real-food meals, but you have slightly smaller portions and he adds more natural fat, in the shape of sauces, or a cream/cheese dessert for instance.

  • Good morning and thank you πŸ™‚

    It would be nice to eat the same things but food wise we are different ends of the scale. He likes hot, spicy, meat and fish, also vegetables. But doesn't like much sweet stuff at all. So difficult to keep weight on him.

    Where I like all the not so good things like potatoes, bread, cheese, veg, chocolate, cake and desserts.

    I'm just not very good at putting things together πŸ™

    But we get by πŸ™‚

    I'm slowly upping my exercise too. done just under 4 miles with the dogs yesterday. Where as it was only about 2 miles the day before.

    I do hope the scales will be kind to me on Monday. 😊

  • I used to be a victim of the dreaded sweet tooth before I accepted that too much is toxic cbsnews.com/news/the-key-to...

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