Coping with lack of motivation

Hello, I suffered brain injury, contusions, skull fractures following a high impact RTA. I have various symptoms such as loss of balance, smell, taste, memory, vocabulary but the worst is finding everyday life insurmountable. I know what I'm capable of and do not lack energy. I simply can't explain to myself or others why I cant seem to carry out what's necessary and prioritise. Any one else suffer like this?

[nwfrugalista]

Hi—I can relate to your post. I don’t have a TBI but I did suffer what they call an acquired brain injury due to a brain tumor which was subsequently removed. The surgery brought brain swelling and a host of complications (neurofatigue and executive function issues, such as a lack of ability to ‘get started’ with things and organize/prioritize being among them).

I’m five years post-op and doing much better now, but in the beginning even having to make a phone call to schedule a medical appointment or sitting down to pay the bills would be so daunting and exhausting that I couldn’t cope with it. I could barely even pair up socks from the laundry it would so utterly tire my brain.

I don’t know whether your neurologist has suggested a neuro-psych eval, but they can do assessments to help determine executive functioning impacts from ABI/TBIs. I have a brain tumor buddy who has similar symptoms to mine and now takes a medication that is typically used to help with ADHD that has helped them with the lack of ability to start tasks and allowed them to go back to work. I can’t take the medication because of other health issues and have just had to slog through. Fortunately, I can report that I have gotten somewhat better over the long term, but I must rely a lot on reminders set on my phone to prompt me to do things. I literally have alarms for everything (getting up, time to get dressed, taking medications, leave the house for work, and lots of other items) throughout the day. I also have a joint calendar with my partner so that they can help me keep tabs on appointments, etc.

In the beginning, my brain required so much rest that I was limited to very small tasks at a time—if I unloaded the dishwasher I was wiped out for hours afterwards just from the brain work of sorting the dishes to put them away. Like I said before, pairing up socks was exhausting. Showering was especially tiring as well. I had to take 3-4 naps every day in between tasks. I didn’t work or drive that first year, which was hard on my family (my children were 16 and 11 at the time) and I just couldn’t do all the things like I had before, which was so frustrating. But slowly over the course of the first year of recovery I started to improve. I worked on being able to string small tasks together two at a time, then three. I reduced my naps from four to three to two (I still try to take one per day even now or by days’ end I am too fatigued to cope).

Five years on, I am working full-time and coping pretty well. Still keep my reminder system going. At work I keep a checklist of all the daily administrative tasks as well as a weekly workflow list for larger projects as my memory just can’t keep track of that many discrete items without it.

I don’t know how far along you are in your recovery, but my best advice is to be very up front with your neuro/medical care team about how the injury is affecting your tasks of daily living. I live in a small city, but many larger ones have proper clinics (with neuros, neuro-psychs, occupational therapists and other providers all under the same roof) that help with these types of impacts from brain injuries. I hope there may be one near you as having a team collaborating can be advantageous versus individual providers all doing their own bits. Sending best wishes for your continued recovery—