Putting a child in nursery

[KR2105]

Hi all. At what age would you put a baby in a nursery? Being a first time mum, while I want him to be safe, I also want him to learn to communicate, play and interact (which I hope some of the nurseries teach kids). However, hubby wants him to be at home till he is 1yr old with his parents or mine. I am worried that, he won't learn to interact that way. I want to know what do people do in general.

[roxannacar]

My nursery takes children from 3 months. My daughter started at 11 months (she's now 20 months) and it was hard first few weeks but she loves it now. Children are very adaptable so wouldn't worry about it too much.

at least you save some money... My nursery costs as much as private school!

[Littlelamb2]

Anything above three years old will benefit him/her. Before then they're best with Mum, if you can afford to stay off with them. Take them to playgroups and local classes they'll get all the socialising they need. The first few years are so important for their emotional and mental development. The cognitive stuff comes later. It goes so fast, keep them close when they want to be with you lol. They soon won't want to! Margret sunderland and Stephen Bidulp, both psychologists write wonderful books on 'best ages' to send to nursery.

[Pangip in reply to Littlelamb2]

Perfect answer, where possible family. It is in every child care book ever written it is just rarely discussed. I was studying my cache level 3 in child care and it supports this.

[Clairelouise91]

Im a first time mum too ive got to go back to work end of october so my little girl will be going into nursery she will be 9 months just do what you feel is best i dont think theres any right or wrong answer everyone is in different situations... visit some nurseries you dont have to usually make appointments you can just go and speak to staff nurseries also do visit days so you can take baby in for a couple of hours for a few days and see how they get on before leaving them all day there is positives and negatives for both options just do what you think will work best for your family xx

[KR2105 in reply to Clairelouise91]

Thanks Clairelouise91. I am sailing in the same boat. Got to go back to work end of October but my LO will be 5 months by then. Asking my HR to extend the leave for another month so I can keep him with me for at least 6 months.

[Clairelouise91 in reply to KR2105]

The only thing i would struggle about putting baby in nursery at that age would be weaning and having to communicate everything they have tried incase of allergies etc its scary enough without allowing others to do it lol hope you figure it out x

[Georgina_D]

I would rather the child be at home with a grandparent until the child can talk/comminicate. So probably 1 year or 18 months.

I know most adults are decent but if a child was hurt or abused they would not be able to tell you at a few months old. Also would save on nursery fees.

If you trust your parents or his parents I would ask them to keep child. Baby will intract as normal if grandparents are interacting with him or her.

[mrsamy]

Like others have said, there's pros and cons

My son started at 9 months, he's 19 months now. It was hard at first getting him to settle but now he loves nursery. I don't think it made any difference to his socialising. Nursery staff say he's just now started playing with the other babies in the room (where they copy each other). Before that, he played with the adults or toys on his own . He's better playing with older kids of family and friend's who he can interact with, they can play peekaboo or they chase him round the room (which he loves), than he does with friend's babies his age.

With Gran, while you save a whole lot of money, it also depends how active they are. Can they keep up with baby playing and all that.

With Gran, baby has a more flexible routine, baby sleeps when sleepy and eats when hungry, or of he/she feels too tired or sleepy to eat, they can sleep 1st and eat later so you're sure baby's got enough food and sleep.

With gran you don't need to take days off when they're sick. They pick up quite a bit at nursery so sometimes you might need up to a week off, which for us in the first few months was quite often. In fact, we had a mini party the 1st time he went to nursery every day for a week. It adds up depending on how flexible work is.

Hope you didn't find this too long.

Personally I'd prefer at home with family but in law's are late and my parents still work.

Like Claire said, have a look round nurseries and see which one you like the most. You could also get on the waiting list (which in some places can be quite long) for when you're ready to move on.

At the end of the day though , it's up to you.

Good luck

[KR2105 in reply to mrsamy]

Thanks mrsamy for laying down all the pros and cons. My in laws don't speak English so one of my concerns is he might feel aloof when he joins nursery as other kids would speak English and this one would have only learnt my mother tongue by then. But I guess you are right regarding money saving and kid falling sick. May be once he starts talking, he may pick up the language quite soon with other kids.

[mrsamy in reply to KR2105]

Oh yeah. I see what you mean about the language. At our nursery they asked what language we speak at home and some words they can say to help him adapt.

I'm happy to help. He's my 1st so I have an idea what you're going through. Wish someone had explained better, they just said "he'll be fine at nursey". I guess maybe they wanted to reassure and make me feel better since it wasn't like I had many options anyway.

All the best