Concerned

Hi, I'm new to this site, expecting first child and also have cancer diagnosis, all on that side is managed well but I am under as high risk and have been going between 2 hospitals which is confusing. I am not feeling confident with my care as my consultant has not been at my appointments the last 2 times and I don't know what I should be expecting from the midwife, they check my urine and blood pressure but never get or have been weighed, stomach felt or measured or listened to and I just wanted to hear what checks are normal for you or if I am expecting something that nobody gets? Any response would be appreciated, thank you😊

20 Replies

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  • I'm sorry you are having to deal with a cancer diagnosis and treatment but congratulations on your pregnancy. How many weeks pregnant are you? The midwife only did urine checks and blood pressure until I was 20 weeks (I think) and then she started listening to the babies heartbeat at my appointments too, then a few weeks after that she used to measure my tummy. As for your other appointments - why don't you phone their secretaries and request to see the consultant at your next appointment and go with a pre written list of questions you have. I used to do that for my midwife too - as always used to forget things when actually in the appointment. I had a bad case of baby brain lol. Best wishes x

  • I'm now 25 weeks, I've had only 1 appointment since my 20 week but they didn't do any checks so maybe they will start at my next one but I will ask to be sure. I'm going to phone the secretaries today and see if I can get some information, my appointment is usually to see the midwife and consultant straight after but he is never there, I have seen a stand in once that didn't know anything about the case so he just asked me how I was and last time didn't see anyone at all. I'll call today and try set something up, think the stern voice will have to come out ha. The question list will come in handy, I barely even remember my name at this point also lol. Thank you for your help x

  • The urine checks & bp are done throughout and are more important at the end. I only got weighed on the first appointment. How far are you? They start feeling stomach and measuring I think around 20 weeks and hearing heartbeat around that too. Can I ask what cancer diagnosis is it? I assume when you oh say it's ok, it's in remission? If you are considered high risk are you not also seeing a obstetric consultant? Might also be worth discussing (hopefully you have before getting pregnant) with your oncologist?

  • It's cervical cancer. They removed most of it during the early stages of pregnancy and are holding out to do a further operation after the delivery so it's all good for now that way, regular checks and mri's have been done and they are happy for me not to have chemo.

    I'm 25 weeks now, I'm meant to see a consultant when I see my midwife, it's supposed to be one after the other on a separate day for the higher risk pregnancies but he hasn't been there the last 2 appointments. I'm going to call today and express my concerns, also going to ring the cancer hospital I'm under and ask them how often I should be checked just so I know what I should be expecting from them. Feel a lot better knowing the other checks don't start till later, didn't have a clue what I should be expecting, thank you

  • You really should have a plan from the start regarding how often you're seen, if you need extra scans, as you're cancer is kinda directly linked to your pregnancy, because of where it is. Make sure you discuss birthing details, as it might have to be a c-section, if not already discussed. Is a registrar at least seeing you instead of the consultant? If someone other the midwife should see you then I'd express my concern. I know sometimes you feel a nuisance but better safe than sorry.

  • I have only been seeing a midwife so far when the consultant isn't there, I was never really told how often I would be seen. I know I'll be having a cesarean but don't have a date yet as it's the cancer hospital deciding that, I'm calling them today to try get some answers on that front also. I think it's a lot of the not knowing that's making me worry more but I'm just going to get on the phone for the day and express my concerns to both the midwife and consultants and then to my other doctors. Maybe I'll get some answers or they will take me more seriously, I think you are right, I might feel annoying for a while but at least I'll feel better when I get some answers😊

  • Hi hun. You have so much going on all at once, my heart goes to you. You don't say how far along you are. I the beginning it is usually dating scan and blood pressure and urine checks. If I knew how far along I may be able to help you more x

  • Oh thank you, it's all going well so far just the confusion or it all really. I'm 25 weeks now, have called all of my doctors today and they seem to be taking me seriously now, I even managed to get myself an appointment with my elusive consultant! Think I'll just have to stay on top of them to keep it up even if I annoy them

  • Hopefully not. As someone else said just write a list of questions, find out often you should be seen by them etc etc. having a baby is always nerve wrecking and in your situation its that bit more! Good luck with all your appointments!

  • glad I wrote here because it has definitely helped, thank you for your advice

  • Hello, I am sorry to hear ou are having such a stressful time! You are entitled to make an appointment to see your consultant direct. This would be arranged through his secretary. If you would like to speak to him I would recommend calling the hospital to arrange this.

    Wishing you all the best with both your pregnancy and cancer treatment X

  • Thank you for your reply, managed to get an appointment with him this Friday with my midwife so maybe all I needed was to kick up a bit and voice my concern. Hopefully it will all go smooth now, should be getting my delivery date this week so it's all starting to come together. Thank you for again for you me advice and well wishes x

  • Hi there, I too have been diagnosed with breast cancer and am now 29 weeks pregnant. I too felt that the 'baby's side' was over looked to start with and the cancer was the focus. Since diagnosis the obstetric doctor has seen me twice. He hasn't really done a great deal! I have started chemotherapy and they are checking to see if it's working today, they will then work together to plan birth around my treatment. The obstetrician explained he deals with the 'abnormal ' side of the pregnancy, due to cancer and the routine midwife appointments deal with the standard side. So be sure to keep up both! Good luck and all the very best for a speedy recovery and happy birth.

  • I'm so sorry to hear, I hope it all goes for well for you and your baby. It's definitely a confusing time, I don't know if it's because it's so normal to them and for us it's obviously nerve wracking for every appointment. I don't know if it is the same for you but with all of the cancer side of the hospital, it takes it away from the exciting baby side of it. Hopefully they will be quick getting your birth plan together, I'm hoping for mine this week. Wish you both all the best in your journey and a quick recovery too x

  • Hi there, I've had good news today and the ultrasound showed that the tumour is shrinking after 2 rounds of chemotherapy. It does all feel routine to them, but I have been lucky and had some really good care. I try to focus on the baby as a positive and put him or her first. I do feel sad walking past maternity to go to the cancer ward though. Stay strong and focus on your baby. This is my second pregnancy, I have a little boy already. I hope you are able to enjoy some of the special moments of your pregnancy. Xxx

  • Oh that's brilliant news, so happy for you. I think now I know that my doctors are happy to not to do any more overly invasive tests I can definitely enjoy it more, definitely time to focus on the little one. I wish you all the best in the future and delighted how well today went for you x

  • Thank you, good news for you too that you're going to be left alone for a while! Hopefully you can enjoy your pregnancy and prepare for your new arrival! If there is ever anything you want to share, vent or ask don't hesitate. With very best wishes xxx

  • Hi I am consultant led due to having a neurological condition, I've only had one consultant appointment so far (I'm only 19 weeks) and I didn't see my named consultant, I saw one of her underlings. I was told its normal to not always see your named consultant, however they had read my notes and were clear why I was there, I felt much calmer with them than my midwife.

    Same thing happened when I was seeing a neurologist years ago and more recently as my husband is under the care of a spinal consultant, very rarely see the named one but their underlings (have to say it's normally the same underling so we get consistency), it's always been normal practice no mater what area of hospital care I am under. However you have received some good advice, you can ring and ask to specifically see your named consultant and sometimes they will even talk through any concerns over the phone with you. A list of questions is also always a good thing.

    Wishing you all the very best x

  • I am 21 weeks pregnant and have seen my 'named' consultant twice, once at 13 weeks in the clinic and then at ultrasound at 16 weeks. This is my second pregnancy and if anything I've been seen less this time. I do think it depends on the hospital etc. I've had fantastic care but if you're not happy or unsure about your care please please keep on top on them and ask to be seen. I wish you well with the rest of your treatment and your pregnancy. Xx

  • Thank you, have got it all sorted now and feel much more comfortable with the plan of care, think it was just all the not knowing on all sides. Wishing you well with the rest of your pregnancy x

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