One for the mummies... X

How to Stop Mummy Sleeping Through the Night!

OK, here's my situation. My Mummy has had me for almost 7 months. The first few months were great. I cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, day or night. Then something happened.

Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to STTN (sleep through the night). At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only getting worse. I've talked to other babies, and it seems like its pretty common after Mummies have had us for around 6 months.

Here's the thing: these Mummies don't really need to sleep. Its just a habit. Many of them have had some 30 years to sleep and they just don't need it anymore. So I am implementing a plan. I call it the

Crybaby Shuffle. It goes like this:

Night 1: cry every 3 hours until you get fed. I know, its hard. Its hard to see your Mummy upset over your crying. Just keep reminding yourself, its for her own good.

Night 2: cry every 2 hours until you get fed.

Night 3: every hour. Most Mummies will start to respond more quickly after about 3 nights. Some Mummies are more alert, and may resist the change longer. These Mummies may stand in your doorway for hours, shhhh-ing. Don’t give in. I cannot stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS KEY!! If you let her STTN (sleep through the night), just once, she will expect it every night. I KNOW ITS HARD! But she really doesn’t need the sleep, she’s just resisting the change.

If you have an especially alert Mummy, you can stop crying for about 10 minutes, just long enough for her to go back to bed and start to fall asleep. Then cry again. It WILL eventually work. My Mummy once stayed awake for 10 hours straight, so I know she can do it. Last night, I cried every hour. You just have to decide to stick to it and just go for it. BE CONSISTENT!

I cried for any reason I could come up with. My sleep sack tickled my foot. I felt a wrinkle under the sheet. My mobile made a shadow on the wall. I burped, and it tasted like pears. I hadn’t eaten pears since lunch, what’s up with that? The cat said "meow". I should know. My Mummy reminds me of this about 20 times a day. LOL. Once I cried just because I liked how it sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the other room. Too hot, too cold, just right - doesn’t matter! Keep crying!! It took awhile, but it worked. She fed me at 4am. Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am. You need to slowly shorten the interval between feedings in order to reset your Mummies internal clocks.

Sometimes my Mummy will call for reinforcements by sending in Daddy. Don’t worry, Daddies are not set up for not needing sleep the way Mummies are. They can only handle a few pats and shhing before they declare defeat and send in the Mummy.

Also, be wary of the sleep sheep with rain noises. I like to give Mummy false hope that listening to the rain puts me to sleep sometimes I pretend to close my eyes and be asleep and then wait until I know Mummy is settling back to sleep to spring a surprise cry attack. If she doesn’t get to me fast enough I follow up with my fake cough and gag noise that always has her running to the crib.

At some point I am positive she will start to realise that she really doesn’t really need sleep.

P.S. Don’t let those rubber things fool you, no matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come out. Trust me.

19 Replies

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  • Amazing :) I'm due today with my first and I can totally see this happening lol, so funny x

  • BRILLIANT !!!!! :-)

    U know, we dont give these babies enough credit ( at all)

    Its honestly hard to believe 6mnths have gone already too.

    I love the "crybaby shuffle" technique that has got -to be a classic isn't it. :-)

    xx

    Oh P.s if you can ask your Lil one to have a good chat with my L.O just in case she decides to delay coming out please, "ive got a funny feeling she'll get too comfy in here LOL!!!

  • Hahaha funny love the bit about the rubber things! :)

  • Love it, Love it, Love it..... And we thought we were the smart ones lol.

    Put a big smile on my face this morning :-) x

  • Fantastic - love it!

  • Naughty babies... I have all this to look forward to in the coming weeks!

  • Brilliant, and scarily accurate! Now remind me who's teaching who what now...?! Cx

  • That's hilarious! Made me laugh out loud!

  • Thats so good and sooooooo true!Haha xxx

  • Awesome! X

  • That has made my morning, laughed my socks off!!

    But also made me realise how canny the LO's can be!!

  • That was brilliant!! loved it!!

  • Sat here with swollen feet and hands and feeling poo (36 weeks) but you just lifted me no end... that was blooming brilliant xxx

  • Oh dear, am I the only one to find this post a little sad? Mummy going through the night with no sleep is no laughing matter.

    At seven months the average baby has the potential to sleep through the night. Whilst teething can be an issue at this age, waking every hour during the night suggests that the baby hasn't learn how to put itself back to sleep. What the baby has learnt is that feeding sends it to sleep and that crying leads to a feed.

    Maybe Mummy should consider hiring a sleep consultant? They will suggest feeding, nap and bedtime routines, and techniques to help a baby learn how to sleep (yes this may involve controlled crying).

    We hired a sleep consultant. It has been by far and away the best money we've ever spent.

  • Oh noes, sounds like you've been blessed with a particularly hard nut to crack :( Are you after some advice about sleep training, or is this delightful parody just a way of venting while making us smile?

  • Oh how funny. :-) I can't day I feel your tiredness :-0 as louisloveshis sleep however I do remember those nights with number two and number one sitting at the door shushing holding their finger doing anything you can to make them sleep. X

  • We're lucky with my LO too, but this made me giggle so I thought I'd share the joy! X

  • first week and baby has the cough down to a tee already. Midwife was impressed with his attention seeking already. Thankfully we do seem to have hit a pattern where we are getting almost three hours sleep a night on a bad night and is four hour feeding patterns on a good one. This did make me laugh this morning. thanks for sharing, needed cheering up x

  • Excellent :) had tears streaming down my face with laughter! I have a 7 month old and we've just embarked on our first trip abroad and she's still getting used to her surroundings ... So I've been experiencing the every hour wake-up during the night as she still doesn't seem to have adjusted....

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