OK, folks. I need your help again. You did a great job with the birthday booze, but this is a little more serious.
For 55 long years I ate my mother's wonderful pumpkin pie, made from her grandmother's recipe. A few years back, she passed the torch to me with a copy. My pies have never turned out right. Oh, sure; they were edible, and most people really liked them. But they weren't Mum's pie. I finally cornered her today and asked why mine are different. Well. That evil, wicked woman finally explained to me that she'd tweaked Grandma's recipe BEFORE I WAS BORN and has always reduced the sugar while doubling the spices!
I have sworn my revenge on the grave of her long-dead dieffenbachia. Please help me plot. Do I just make no-bake pudding pies from now on? Do I wrap each of her Christmas socks separately and seal the paper with layers of duct tape? Should I replace all of the chocolate in her stocking with coal?
I am open to any and all suggestions, but I do know that I'm going to be playing "Jingle Bell Rock" and "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" on repeat for all of Christmas Day, because she hates them both.