More bittersweet news: My father-in-law... - My MSAA Community

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More bittersweet news


My father-in-law (my 2nd dad) passed away. My world crashed but the dear Lord gave me some folks to stop from crashing so I can keep going.

Well, he lived to 96, with Alzheimer’s the last 10 years of his life. I wasn’t totally surprised because he was going in and out of hospitals. So he isn’t suffering any more. He is with the Lord.

Hearts are heavy. My body isn’t doing well.

To lose the two remaining parents with in 2 months is daunting. Another funeral and estate to settle.

47 Replies

I can relate iam having a hard time but it will get better it's just getting thru the hard things that make you who you are and it will get better

TonyiaR7 in reply to MSSURVIVOR7

We loss 2 parents. Our sons lost their remaining grandparents. I am glad I had my children when they were young. They were able to really know their grandparent. My mother’s death was surprising. Issues about settling the estates. Planning another funeral and attending one. I am exhausted.

TonyiaR7 in reply to MSSURVIVOR7

I pray you get some counseling and help for marital issues. My husband had an emotional affair with an old friend from undergraduate school. With his kidney failure/transplant they had become closer. Actually, I think she had more issues than he. But if two parties wake up and realize their marriage is in danger zone; and are willing to do the hard work to get back on track. It wasn’t easy to confront him, he made me feel like I am the crazy one. I even went to one of those places for women who are typically abused physical. But emotional abuse is painful, and some women don’t realize it can lead to more manipulation and hopefully not physical abuse. They helped along with our pastor. My husband didn’t like those women that helped me deal with my emotional abuse problems. 😊 I am so grateful and overjoyed that our faith brought us reconciliation and restoration in our marriage. The love and dedication is even sweeter and stronger than we both can imagine. I pray whatever you do, you take care of yourself.

Yea the struggles do instil a certain something so .....


My thoughts and prayers to you, my friend. My dad is also suffering from Alzheimer's for the last couple of years. It is so sad.

As for yourself, please take the time to be good to yourself and let your medical team know of how you are feeling, okay?

Amore55 in reply to carolek572

Very good advice.

That is good advice I will never let stuff like that define who iam but my struggle with this will help me but not define ever

TonyiaR7 in reply to carolek572

I will do so. I have did all I can do for my family.

My most sincere condolences for your loss, he will forever be in your heart

TonyiaR7 in reply to RoyceNewton

Yes he will be. We worked together on his vegetable garden. I would grow seedlings of various varieties of tomato, corn, squash, cucumber and sweet peppers. My husband would transport them to the Bronx. His goal was to grow a large pumpkin; 32 lbs (14.5 kgs). I was glad that we both petered out around the same time. His list grew each year. He even had vegetables that they grew in Jamaica, calaloo. (Green leafy vegetables like collard greens). I missed doing this. I grew annuals for my mom and me. We had to many deer and critters. So we would grow a vegetables in whiskey barrels on our deck. Much work plus flowers, shrub and tree gardening. He would beam and share with everyone. Pumpkin soup was his favorite.

Amore55 in reply to TonyiaR7

What a wonderful memory!

I'm sorry for your loss.

Sorry 😐 for your loss


Please take care of yourself

Oh Tonyia, I am so sorry, but as you say he is now with our Lord, so he is now in comfort. To have lived until he was 96 is a grand age, you and your family must have many fond memories. Please listen to your body and take care of you, otherwise your not going to be much use to your family, and ms loves it when we are stressed. Keep in touch, Blessings Jimeka 🤗🙏

So very sorry for your loss. May many happy memories comfort you and bring you peace...Love & prayers coming to you & family. 🙏💖🌹


My Love TonyiaR7 I am so very sorry! Neither of them would want you to get sick over them. So breath! And know they are watching over you.

~May They Be Wrapped In The Wings Of Angels and Placed In The Hands of God~


TonyiaR7 in reply to Jesmcd2

I wish my brothers could be nicer, loving. I am glad I have a site where people care. My brothers learned from my dad very well to find or perceive fault in others. Many times not on much basis. I love them but must keep my distance to protect my heart and mind.

My prayers are with you

From 1 Orphan to another, I understand your grief. Wishing you happier days!

TonyiaR7 in reply to Juliew19673

Well us orphans were already adopted into the family of My MSSA Community and depending on ones faith in the family of God. That is comforting.

So sorry for your loss. But the passing of loved ones just deepens our faith they will be together again in heaven and we have new bodies with no pain and no sickness. So just take care of yourself and take comfort that they’re in the best place there could be.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻.

TonyiaR7 in reply to Doubled51

I felt great at the funeral. My mom and I quoted different passages from the Bible about Christ second coming and just encouraging passages. At her funeral I had comfort and peace. But weeks later I started missing her. Talk about cleaning up the yard in the fall to minimize our spring clean up and soil preparation. I would buy bulbs; purchase her favorites and some to surprise her. And I am run down. I will have to make sure that a sore throat that I have is only from straining my voice. I don’t sleep well. I know God is in control. My lawyer is taking care of things.

Doubled51 in reply to TonyiaR7

I sounds like a wonderful funeral celebrating her life instead of your loss. It gets easier with time. My mom has been gone since 2001 and there are still days that I miss her so bad I can’t breathe. Thank God my dad was a minister and my mother and he were together 50 years before he passed . She had 3 heart attacks and 2 strokes but her faith kept her going and she lived by herself for 8 years to the age of 79. I was blessed with the greatest mom and dad that God could have ever given me. I was taught from a young age to not be afraid of death but to embrace it. After her last stroke mom couldn’t talk but when I asked her how she was doing she always pointed to heaven. So it was a blessing when she went on to be with the lord and dad. All that to say it just makes me strive to be a better man so I can join them someday.

I pray that you continue with the good thoughts. Stop take time to take of yourself I’m sure that’s what your mom. And father-in-law would want.

God bless and comfort you.


TonyiaR7 in reply to Doubled51

Such touching words.

Amore55 in reply to TonyiaR7

My folks passed 18 days apart in 2016. I often went to the phone for months to call to see how they were doing. It is such a difficult transition.

TonyiaR7 in reply to Amore55

Oh, my heart feels for you. Both parents 18 days apart. I sensed that it was a possibility that after the sudden death of my mom. Dad was old going in/out hospital. My dear, what a situation. Yes, it will be a difficult transition especially for my sons who are early 30s. I couldn’t imagine dealing with 2 people passing 18 days.

So sorry for your loss. Stay strong and lean on the Lord and you friends

TonyiaR7 in reply to Turtlepie

Only way I can get through each day. I am so glad he is holding up this weak and vulnerable body.

I'm very sorry for your loss TonyiaR7 My thoughts are with you at this time. Please take time to take care of yourself. Virutal hugs from MI.

sorry 4 ur loss

I can’t imagine how awful this must be, I am so sorry 💐💐

Sorry for your loss😪 prayers are with you and your family 🙏🙏🙏 Ken 🐾🐾🐾🐾👍


Oh, my dear! I’m so sorry for the incredible losses you’ve suffered, as well as the complications of dealing with your mom’s estate. I’m sorry your body is not reacting well.

I will continue to pray for God’s direction and comfort.

oh i am sorry is sad ...take care ...

I’m sorry for your loss

It certainly seems to happen that way, that two special people pass away within a short period of time. I am sorry for your loss. In time you learn to live with it, I think but it isn't an experience without stress and so has taken its toll on your health. Try to be kind to yourself and give yourself time to fully grieve. Meanwhile try also to give yourself the healthiest diet you are able. Wishing you well.🥰

TonyiaR7 in reply to Ali_B62

Yes. I must eat.

I am so sorry, Tonyia, for your loss. My love and my prayers are with you. May the Angels watch over you. Linda

oh what a heavy heart you must feel........our loved ones wants us to mourn for alittle while then they want us to have a happy prayers are with you

Oh, I am so very sorry for your loss. Even with Alzheimer’s, losing your 2nd father is so very sad. My Mom had it for six years. It is bittersweet when they leave us. May God bless you with comfort. Prayers your way. Love, Kelly xx

TonyiaR7 in reply to Amore55

I was blessed to get along with both sets of parents. Sometimes I felt more respected and compassion from my husband’s parents.

Praying for your comfort and peace.

TonyiaR7 in reply to cindyrn68

I feel more peace and comfort. I finally located the Will. And my youngest brother is most likely the executor. My middle brother cannot be trusted to do things correctly by laws.

I am so sorry. Lost my mom (my last parent) last July. It is hard. Each day is a bit better but our beloveds live on in our hearts.

My condolences and know that the Lord will always give you strength.

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Praying you will find peace and comfort.

May God hold you in his arms and give you peace and comfort 😇🙏🙏

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