Since the fruitcake tradition appears to be
unstoppable, this year I've decided to replace our
family's fruitcake with a more durable one which
we will cherish for years.
4oz. Fruit Bits
1 Railroad Tie
large Rubber Mallet
WEAR YOUR SAFTY GOGGLES (.Children,
get help from an adult!)
Cut a one foot section from the middle of your
railroad tie. The resulting block of wood should
be around the size and shape of a loaf of bread.
Then take some fruit bits and pound them into
the block with your rubber mallet. Don't be afraid
to throw some elbow grease into that mallet! For
best results, you should pre-treat the fruit bits by
setting them to top of your garage for a year (or
microwave them on HIGH for 30 minutes).
Finally, cover it tightly in plastic wrap. and dive
your loved ones the timeless and enduring
gift of fruitcake.